This living nightmare is all consuming,my pain grows by the day since my dear wife Judith passed away on 27th September.I too find it very hard to carry on.But what is the solution .Michael.
Dear Mickey
I feel for you as we all know what your going through
You have made the first step to help yourself by contacting us and expressing your grief. Keep talking to us as it can be cathartic just by
Writing your feelings to people who know exactly what your going through
Perhaps get a daily diary and jot day what you do even if itās just mundane stuff like went for a walk or had a good cry today
Your be surprised how it can help
Keep in contact with us all
1 Like
Thank you for the advice,crying is good and I do it every day ,I write on here as well to say how I am feeling most days which is like shit.Feeling sick and not sleeping that well ,what a life we have been left.Living alone in retirement is not what I wanted,I needed my dear wife to be by my side.Michael.
Dear mick
It sounds like your dear wife has not been gone long. In a weeks time it will be a year for my husband who was my soul mate.I know you donāt think so at the moment but the pain will ease somewhat
Try talking to a counsellor for bereaved they can really be of help
I know itās easier said than done but please reach out to them
Keep talking to us and your feel your not alone
Think of you
1 Like
Every morning I go into my wifeās bedroom pull the curtains and say good morning my darling hoping that she will be there.Then the reality kicks in again and I cry for a bit and tell her I miss her so much,love her so much.Kiss her picture,5 weeks today she passed away ,I will never forget that day as long as I live.I just held her for as long as I was allowed.My world just came crashing down ,my life was now empty.Michael.
1 Like
Dear Mick
Oh the pain and agony your going through.I do exactly the same kiss my husband picture, walk into the bedroom where he passed away and go over that time, but I see it as a privilege that we could have them at home at that moment.
We are all here for you, keep talking it does help x
2 Likes
Thank you for lovely message,I get this sick feeling every morning now,cannot face breakfast ,get weepy and cannot stop thinking about my poor Judith.The way she passed away has given me such nightmares,her little face as she took her last breath will haunt me forever.I just held her until they asked me to let her go.I am completely utterly shattered,destroyed ,empty ,my grief is eating me alive.Keep thinking do I really want to be here in this lonely life now without her.My beautiful wife has gone.Michael.
Hi It is 18 weeks since I lost my husband and I still feel exactly the same now as I did when he passed. Empty, destroyed just so broken. They say it gets better but I donāt know when. My heart goes out to you. Take care.
Moira
2 Likes
I really feel for you. I often think I donāt want to be here anymore. But we have to carry on for our families. Itās so early days for you. I am bit further down the journey & cry less but the pain & disbelief are still with me. I have to believe what I hear from others that we will learn to live a new life we did not want. I am still in bed trying to will myself to get up & shower. I quite often think I am not progressing, but I am doing things I couldnāt do 7 months ago, so somehow I am.surviving & carrying on. You will too, I just keep telling myself the future has got to have something in it for me even though itās hard to believe. We have to try to muddle through & be strong.
2 Likes
Hi Michael
Iām so sorry you are feeling so completely devastated and how it is affecting your health. I hope you will soon have the help you have asked for.
Itās over 19 weeks since Ian passed away and Iām having my third counselling session this morning. Itās over the telephone but we are hoping to meet face to face soon.
Like you, my sense of loss is overwhelming and I just canāt imagine what the future will look like except that it will be a very lonely place.
Take care of yourself,
X Julie
1 Like
This is very true but it is so hard on your own. The loneliness is so overpowering. When you go for days not seeing or talking to anyone is awful. Some say go out. meet people but where can you go by yourself?
I feel for you too Julie, I get counselling on phone but for 2nd time today will be a zoom call which is better seeing her.
It is a very lonely journey we are all on & did not want to be.
I joined a site called WAYUP on pc it is for widows & widowers. So many on there share our grief. It takes a while to be accepted as you get vetted, but thats fine as makes it a safe site to to join & message others on same journey. They have lots going on, zoom meetings, meet ups, Hope you find it helpful Diane
Diane I also feel exactly like you ,I have just got out of bed after cups of tea and watching morning tv. Next week it will be a year since my husband pass away, and although things are a little better I think itās the loneliness and the house is so quiet so letās all get ready and go for a walk and think of everyone like us even perhaps have a coffee
And we will not fill so alone as we know we are all on this journey together
Thinking of you all X
1 Like
It is very hard. I have never ever been alone in my life until now. I hate it. If I go out to meet friends I donāt want to come home just to be lonely & on my own again. Go on pc & goggle WAYUP. They might have meetups near you. I am still in bed as seems no reason to get up anymore. i really need to kick myself into action.
Hi , I totally understand your pain, I lost my darling husband last year, my soul mate my life. I too watched as he suffered, and this haunts me too. But I have had Counselling and although I didnāt expect it to help, it has,
I still miss Tony every day, long to have him back, but can focus on doing things to make it more bearable.
Because we truly loved our partners, the pain is so great. Like you retirement would be our time , to spend together, now alone it feels pointless.I HAVE ONE THING TO SAY, IT WILL GET EASIER, BUT ONLY INTIME.
I Speak FROM EXPERIENCE, Tony was my 2 nd husband, I lost my childhood sweetheart 22 years before, suddenly without warning, my life had ended, I didnāt want anyone else, despite people telling me I was still young and would meet someone. I just wanted to die too, only my daughters kept me going.
How wrong was I, I met Tony also widowed, we married and had a wonderful 2 nd chapter to our lives. Sadly his health deteriorated, with a rare neurological disease, I cared for him at jo e , with the help of a Hospice , and he died in my arms as we both wished.
Now the grief is devastating, but I have to carry on , I have good family and great friends, not the same as my darling, but he is at peace from the suffering, as is your wife. We are left to suffer. Hang in there it will slowly get easier.
Hope this helps,
Christina x
1 Like
Yes I am having a terrible time trying to comes to terms with what I have lost.I am overwhelmed by grief at the moment and it does not look like going away anytime soon.I cannot even contemplate my life without her at the moment.Wake up all hours of the night,cannot face breakfast,feeling sick all the time,the sense of loss is so unreal until you find yourself all alone.Watching tv alone,going to bed alone,oh how it so awful,do not really want to be here especially with winter coming and the dark nights.Michael
Your story makes me cry,it is so sad ,losing our special one is so devastating,she is free from the pain but now I have the pain not like hers though mine is deep inside.She was so brave at the end ,never complained,amazing lady.Michael.
1 Like
Everything you say and more is how I feel every day.I do not think it can get better when you lose the one who made your world go round.Love to you all .Michael.
2 Likes
Thanks Diane I like you have never been on my own in my life
Went from a family to 51yrs of marriage, I hate it. Have looked up Meet up but not found any where near but I have joined a weekly keep fit ,itās all older women so more chatting and laughing than moving around so makes me get up. I found you have to help yourself as nobody els will, but it does make you fill stronger
Keep chatting as we have all a lot in common x
1 Like
Sorry I didnāt wNt you to cry more than you are already. I hoped it would give you hope. Xxx
1 Like