So sad

Oh charming ! Dont do her any favours !! X

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Thank you. She took me completely by surprise.
Didnā€™t expect either of the things she mentioned.
Plus I am overly polite.
I know now and will hopefully will be prepared should she behave like this again.
I hope she wonā€™t .

I will be keeping out of her way as much as I can.

Thank you again x

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I feel your pain believe me. I felt/feel the same, heartbroken, empty, isolated, felt I was the only one going through this horrible, vile thing called grief. I also wished it had been me that had passed away, how will I ever cope without my Kev. Iā€™m 7 months on now. It isnā€™t easy. One day at a time, one step at a time you, me, we have a very steep hill to climb thatā€™s one step forward three steps back. I still have extremely bad days where I cry, scream, shout why, why, why. I miss him more than I can begin to say. Iā€™ve had some bereavement counselling and itā€™s really helped me see that what we on here are going through is normal. Itā€™s not for everyone and didnā€™t think it was for me but it helped me to talk to someone thatā€™s not involved, someone thatā€™s caring and listens to you with helpful advice. All I can say to you is get up, face the day, go out even if you have to force yourself to do so at some point. My heart is broken into tiny pieces
I have days where I donā€™t cope at all and days where I do. Iā€™m surviving right now the best way I can. At some point I have to believe it will get easier. Thinking of you

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Lovely wordsā€¦ so true xx

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@RoseGarden Iā€™m livid reading this! You may be overly polite,but you do need to toughen up now in the face of people like this. They know that youā€™re on your own and will try to take advantage. Like @MandyC15 , Steve had problems with my neighbours when parking his large van in the street. They would come round and moan, but although he was polite and so lovely, he was tough when he needed to be and we did fall out with a couple of them. Now they try to speak to me but I blank them, I feel like saying ā€œAre you happy now heā€™s gone and you can park wherever you like?ā€.
If they have no right of access to your drive Iā€™d tell them to do one.

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Thank you.

I know I must toughen up. I will try.

I really am a softie who hates confrontation.

You are right I think she will try to take advantage.

I am in tears still. I donā€™t need this, I want to be left alone.

I canā€™t believe she actually came round and put this pressure on me both with the drive and what she is saying is illegal. It has worried me so much that yesterday evening I talked to somebody who is a retired solicitor. They said it is legal. They also told me that what she is saying is her property, a boundary wall, is in fact mine.

All I can see now are problems with her.
How can anybody do that so soon after I lost my husband? I realise and I know what sheā€™s like.
This is my little haven, my safe space if you like., even though it sometimes upsets me when I remember him working in the garden.
I feel like itā€™s under threat.

So sorry, Iā€™m having a bad day now. Iā€™ve tried so hard to get out of the dip of depression I was in last week. Now, I feel like I am back there. I am so worried and frightened. I feel so alone now that he is gone and not here to to deal with this with me.
Rose x

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Shes playing on you because you are vulnerable.
If it gets too much could you afford a solicitor? And say to herā€¦ do not communicate to me, go through my solicitor?
Or do you have a family member/ close family friend who could confront her if she starts again?
Dont let her bully you. I know when you are grieving, its easier said than done.
We are all here for you xx

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Yes Rose
She is bullying you. Please donā€™t let her
You deserve respect not this

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@Minnie5
Hi Minnie
When Nick came out of hospital, we still had hope he would beat his brain tumour. He had fought it for 10yrs.
After the oncology team said they could do no more for him. We had very long chats, hugging each other telling eachother how much we loved eachother.
Nick asked me to definitely go back to work and travelā€¦ thats what he wanted me to do.
At 54 ive still got so much living to doā€¦ work and travel is the way forward.

My memory and concentration is terrible now, so ill have to write everything down.

Keep trying and plodding on xx

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@RoseGarden
If you can afford it, tell her to go through your solicitor. You could also get advice from citizens advice.

If you have family or close friends could they have a word to her?

You are vulnerable and shes playing on that.

Thinking of you, stay strong xx

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Thank you. Well, at least I have stopped crying, I thinkā€¦

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Thank you.
It just feels like another thing has been piled onto everything else I have been dealing with. This load is getting heavier .

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I have cleared a few pots out of the way. 2 neighbours are coming over to move a heavier pot.

There are a couple of major obstructions that canā€™t be moved. So when she comes round, this morning, I will tell her thatā€™s the best that can be done especially as there was practically no notice.
Thatā€™s me being tough! :wink::wink:

I wondered about tackling the other things she mentioned but decided, although I will worry about it, at the moment I think it could make things worse. A bit like poking the bear.

Thank you so much for being here for me.

Love,

Rose x

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Do you have to move pots from your own drive? I dont think you do?

Youve met her half way and done as best as you can.

The neighbours who helped you could be good go betweens.

Give an inch and people take a mile, as they say.

Do not engage with her again, if she starts being nasty :unamused: xx

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Lol well said and some people do take advantage of you when youre a widow but its hard isnt it because we are weaker now without them by our side ā€¦ 8 geel loke 5hat anyway. Luvkily there are some nice people where i live but not all are ā€¦ some are self centred ā€¦some people just dont engage their brains ! X

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I lost my husband seven weeks ago. Some days I still donā€™t believe itā€™s true. I am not the executor of the will and the way that my husband wrote it his estranged daughters are getting half of everything. I did tell him that they could walk in and take half of the stuff, but he was convinced it would only be what was in his bank account. So having to sell things that I donā€™t want to, having to move away from my home at a time where I wouldā€™ve just liked to stay.
I feel constantly sick and my heart keeps racing and I canā€™t breathe.
I struggle to get up in the morning. I have to return to work as I took most of my sick leave when he was in hospital and I must go on as I have teenage children who need their Mum.

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Aww thats terrible, just while you are grieving. You need your home, security at a time like this. Your husband should have made it clear in his willā€¦ just leaving daughters half of bank account.
Whoever he did the will with should have made that clear.

Luckily Nick left the will to me. He had no children and helped me bring my 2 up.
However, i think his brother is going to contest the will.
Nick and i were together 12yrs but only married 3 months before he passed away.
I feel like its hanging over me all the time :cry: not knowing what his brother is going to do.
Both brothers had both names on both of their house deedsā€¦ i know itā€™s unbelievable.
I dont know why they did this? But, i will probably have a costly legal battle.

Im so sorry you are going through thisā€¦ its heartbreaking :broken_heart: to lose the one you love then deal with the financial shit afterwards xx

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Jusr tell her to get off your property or you will ring the police for harassment ! Thatā€™ll scare her and tell her no she is not using your drive for her workmen ā€¦ use the road or her drive ! x

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No, I donā€™t think it was a legal requirement.

We have always tried to be good neighbours. So it was partly because of that I did it.

Also, it meant that I could do it my way and I could put the pots where I wanted.
I donā€™t think sheā€™d follow instructions.
Just been out on the drive, as she was in the garden, again.
She really is bossy! I think the man was getting fed up with her!

My neighbours came over and helped me.
Although, she said she would help me, she turned up when everything was done.What a surprise!

It turns out she had a choice of morning or afternoon and she chose morning as it was best for her. I did say afternoon would have been better for me as it would have given me more time. She just laughed and repeated it was best for her.

Well, at least I know what sheā€™s like .

Thank you for your understanding and support.

Rose x

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Sounds like a bit of a nightmare neighbour to me ā€¦ she shouldnt be doing this to you when you just lost your husband ā€¦ i would have to tell her to do one tbh and do things your own way and she doesnt like it she can lump it cant she ! x

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