I feel the same it’s been six months since I lost my hubby we did everything together so I’m like you can’t believe I won’t see him again x
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@Mogs1 it is nearly 10 months since I lost my soulmate of 35 years and I am still in shock. I’m trying to build myself a new life without him by my side but it is so hard and it hurts so dreadfully every morning when I wake up and remember that he is no longer here. People say I am doing well but they don’t see the pain inside
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Thankyou for your kind words everyone, thoughts are with you all too. Just feel so alone now, now he’s not there to ask advice or just tell something silly that has happened and just can’t get my head around the fact I’m never going to see him or talk to him again and heartbroken that he won’t see our daughter grow up
im the same, this morning i had to go for steroid injections in my knees, Gp asked how i was, told him i was just about coping, then he said, Was i nervous about the jabs, told him no but D had always takenn me and made sure i rested for 24 hours, he cooked and made me drinks etc, this time im alone how am i supposed to rest, i have to eat and drink, so cant keep.legs up. needless to say i was in tears in drs, im sobbing my heart out now im home and alone. i miss him so much, especially when at times like this he did everything and made sure i did as i was told. To top it all, D had a car accident last Nov, not his fault, and insurance company sent a cheque for his excess in his name, so telephone call to get it sent to me, as theyd been informed of his death, and agreed to pay to me as executor, now they wont i have to send copy of grant of probate , thats still awaited . its just i think ive got things sorted, this happens and im back to square one. Feeling awful, im not copying today, hope tomorrow is a better day.
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Thats how i feel, it is very early days for me but all I think is this is it, I will be alone now forever, I have family around and my 19 year old grandson lives with me so I have to carry on for him but like you say it’s the little things. So many many things we would have shared and told each other about, a lovely flower, a crick in the neck, a nutty neighbour, something funny, something sad anything and everything . The emptiness inside me is unbearable.
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Mogs,I’ve been there and still am.My wife suddenly passed away 10 month ago, I’m lost,in a different world without her,nowhere to go,lonely, miss her so much.
Where I am going I do not know, hopefully life can see me through.
I hate life,yes,I sometimes say , I hope I don’t waken in the morning,but I’m here for a reason in life.
My life was ripped out of me,but I’m here to share with others.
Miss her so much,cry every day,the weekends are worse,sob big time,when we really had a ball.
I hate my life just now without her, I scream in my house,closed doors are horrible.Outside ,people see you as a different person,but,bang,door is shut,Pure silence,no presence,xxx
Mogs,you will slowly get through,it’s so tough,and he will always be there.
Me,when I will get over grief???one day, sometime
Sandy
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@Liro my husband was Roger too. And I said those exact words, so that he didn’t worry when he was so poorly.
But I lied, I’m not fine and never will be again.
It’s so tough isn’t it.
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Hi @Paddy53
Yes its incredibly tough. Roger was frightened of dying and leaving me, so I just kept telling him I’d be ok. He told me I’d got to live my life.
But like you I’m not ok and never will be.
I will learn to go on living but I will never ever stop missing him, or loving him or needing him.
I will go on living for him but it’ll just be an existence really
Sending love and hugs
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Good evening I lost my husband suddenly 27th December and I can sadly tell you it doesn’t get any better however hard friends try to occupy my time
I often turn to speak to him or ask a question for me the picture that will not leave me is how I found him however hard I try I feel so alone and feel there really is no point in continuing
I’m sure this doesn’t help you except to know you are not alone
I am I have no siblings and no children to support me but a couple of good friends who try their best.
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@Ridds. i feel the same, there is no one to share the day with, no to hold hands with, David didn’t want to die, he fought to his ladt breath to stay, and i see a good memory rapidly followed my the nightmare of his death which wasnt peaceful. I blame me becsuse thry wouldnt let me bring him home where he wanted to be, the hospital were horrible, and he had no dignity, told me if he could walk with no help he could go home but with no meds, they didn’t even want to give him a private room to die. i spent hours fighting to give him dignity, those where hours i should have been with him, i cant get that back and how can i forgive myself for not doing what he wanted or being with every minute of his last few hours. i failed him and all i want is to be with him now, i see no future for me. i do have family, but they live away and so dont see them often, they dont understand how i feel or the loneliness. i keep trying to find some reason to remain as its what he would have wanted. its so very very hard.
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I’m in exactly the same position as you same age too.It’s 12 months your for me and I’m really sad it’s not getting any better.I just said to myself today I feel like I’m living on a remote island on my own.I have a few friends who do their best but they have their own lives to lead and also cousins that are ready to help me wherever I need but I don’t like asking for anything.It’s a very lonely life.
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I can totally resonate with you - almost 13 months in I still find it hard to accept that he is not by my side anymore 
everyday is a struggle dreading the next day forever
Take care & Big hugs xx
Very true words, i call grief hell.
My husband has been gone over 6 years & i still cant believe hes died. 
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Trying so hard to stay strong for our little girl but just struggling and so heartbroken that her daddy won’t get to see her grow up, he loved her so much
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Understand completely.
Its been 18 weeks for me since I lost my husband and I sometimes wake up hoping its all a bad dream and it can’t be real. I’m so heartbroken and just dont feel anything is worthwhile now. Our future together all gone and just memories left and endless crying. I’ve been wring in a diary every night and talk to his photos all the time. I realise my son has lost his dad and my young grandson his grandad but its a completely different kind of grief that people can’t understand if they haven’t lost a spouse.
Its helps to read all your posts and know that I’m not alone in how I feel
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I completely understand too. I lost my husband suddenly 3 months ago and I can’t believe it’s happened either. I often feel completely disassociated from my life like I’m watching a nightmare which will end soon but doesn’t. I think it’s a way of coping but it’s horrible. The only comfort sometimes is reading there are others feeling the same way. Big hugs to anyone feeling it badly today xx
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I lost my husband nearly 2 years ago and still feel dreadful most days… well everyday actually. He had dementia and I didn’t want him to carry on living as he was but now I wish he was still here so I could at least have him and hold his hand and tell him how much he meant to me. we were married for 54 years so I know I am lucky but I can’t feel any motivation to do anything or interest anything at all without him. i moved house and area to be a bit closer to my two sons but they have their own lives and although they feel sad at losing their father bit’s not the same for them at all and I just feel so terribly lonely all the time in a new area also and not knowing many people here. family are quite good but just don’t understand how bad it feels.
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My son doesn’t live in the same town as me and broached the idea of moving nearer to them but I just can’t imagine leaving our home. All my memories are in the walls of this house but I don’t think he understands. Sometimes I hear a creak and for a brief second think its him upstairs. Moving must have been so hard for you and felt right at the time. But we’re in such a fragile mindset making decisions are just too hard. Hope you find some peace in your new home
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Yes hell, that is surely where we all are now.
I am slowly getting used to life on my own, its been 3 months now. But I don’t like it.
I still cry everyday, I still miss him so very much and I still can’t accept that he’ll never be coming back.
My life will never be the same and although I will make a new life and carry on, alone, I won’t ever like it and I’ll only be going through the motions. I will always have him here in my heart, and in my mind, with me always until we can be together again
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Hi Mogs
I’m so sorry to hear about the pain you are enduring… I know how bleak the future can seem, once you are facing it alone. The only (I hope!) helpful thing I can offer is just to take one-day-at-a-time. I know it’s a cliche, but it’s the one thing that’s given me some strength to cope … Try not to think about next week, or next month… Try and focus on just getting through today. When the day draws to a close, congratulate yourself of your enduring strength to get through another day, and realise that your partner would be immensely proud of you.
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