I have been online. it is hard because it like a sea bottom trawler.
I know what I want if I could get it but sorting through what is coughed up becomes defeating.
Sounds like my mum, mum only had paid for car and funeral service I had to sort the rest out!
@Magsclar Iām having to do three 250 word statements giving examples of certain topics. Remember when applying for a job was just filling out an application form and then an interview? Now they pretty much want retina scans and your bra size!
@Keith68 mum wanted a direct cremation so I had that to organise after we lost her. My sister found a national company that made the process easy.
@berit trawling the ocean sounds messy, if I did it I dread to think what would pop up! Think Iāll stick to sitting in my pyjamas with my cat
employers have helped make life so hard. I got jobs, news jobs, on the spot, as you described. despite college with Pol Sci, I get no jobs and only freelance write. death loss plus horrible economy. plus, online apps means hundreds apply for one job and move long distance to take a job, so the competition is so much steeper.
I applied for a job with the Scottish Courts in February, I was told that Iād scored enough to get a job but others had scored higher. I was put on a reserve list for 12 months but all Iāve had so far is offers of fixed term contracts. It was a good job really as in March mum was told her cancer had come back. With my current employer I was able to take a month off to spend with her then two weeks after. I guess we just have to keep trying.
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Theyāll be wanting you to produce a video for them next @Malcolm2 ! Telling them why you want the job. Our applications at work are very formulaic around certain competencies. The interview questions are too. We have had some really good people apply lately though and have a new starter next week. Completing the form is always a pain but I hope it brings you a new start and a great job. Is your sister wanting to move jobs too?
With the court job I had to do an online situational judgement test! It was all timed, I had about 6 minutes to do a load of mathematical questions! I got about 10 minutes to answer a few multiple choice questions on what I would do in certain situations. I must have done ok as I got to the interview stage. I hope I do get it as I need a change now and a job where I feel I have done some good. My sister would like to leave but she is at university so it would be finding a job that fits around that
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Sounds like theresā a lot of thinking on your feet to be done. Hope your application statements are going well, itās always difficult to write things like that and stay creative and not repeat things. A new job would be an exciting change and it would be good to get out of your current environment.
Not had a great day. My son had to go to A and E on the advice of his doctor as he has a painful and swollen tendon in one arm which the doctor was worried about. We actually only had to wait 2 hours at the hospital but they then said they could do nothing and why were we there. He has to go on a waiting list for tests now. It was also the hospital my mum was in and we had to go past the same wards she was in (many) so I was losing it a bit.
Hope your weekend is good.
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I submitted the application last night, it was strange because all they wanted was these three statements, no qualifications or experience! I have found another job but I need to update my CV and write a covering letter applicable to the job,I will need to do that next week. I would have been really annoyed at the hospital asking why your son was there, I would have told them to phone your GP and ask them. It will have been incredibly hard for you being at the hospital, awakening lots of awful memories. I hope you feel a little better today, maybe be fired up to write back to them?
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Thank you. Iām afraid I have still been putting off writing back to the hospital. Planning to look at it tomorrow hopefully. Yes, being in the hospital was upsetting.the NHS is just so uncoordinated and the service woeful. You just get passed from pillar to post constantly. I shall have to phone the useless doctor on Monday and ask him to refer my son as he should have done anyway.
My husband and I went to the RHS flower show at Tatton Park today. I really needed to get out and away as I have felt at the end of my tether. Some beautiful designs there. House cleaning time now! Tomorrow that awful letter writing in response to the complaint reply, which I donāt want to think about. Has been not a great week generally.
Iām glad you got your application in and that there are other possibilities coming up too. Always a nightmare to apply but worth it hopefully.
It was strange and sad filling out this job application. Things like that and my essays at college I would always get mum to check for mistakes. It was something else I have had to do without her and it really hit home again how she is gone. I got my sister to check it, with mum she would always give encouragement by telling me what a could piece of work I had done. My sister told me what she had changed such as comas and full stops but that was it so I sent it hoping for the best. Iām not meaning bad by my sister but it was just so different to mum. I hope to find a new job to get a fresh and find my place in this new life Iāve been thrust into.
You will get there with your complaint, these things take time and a lot of mental strength. Even a sentence or two a day is more than you had done the day before, itās progress. I canāt believe the state of the NHS, itās sad to see how it has become. I saw a difference in my mumās care this year to that in 2019.
I am so glad you had a lovely day, there is nothing better to sooth the soul than nature. I was out in the garden today doing some planting, it still looks awful and I still feel bad. I accept it wonāt be great this year but aim to have it better next year.
It really has been an awful week hasnāt it? At least we can come on here and chat.
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Hi
Iāve copied and pasted this from the general chat thread.
You might find the AtALoss website helpful:
https://www.ataloss.org/Pages/FAQs/Category/organisations-that-can-help?Take=24
If you select your area from the drop-down, you can see whatās available locally. Hopefully there is something close enough to you.
Are you in touch with social care at all? They may be able to help you find support. Or you could contact MIND also I received 6 free sessions from Sue Ryder via Zoom with an amazing Integrative/Person Centered Counsellor. Very warm, compassionate and very well informed. Maybe try that. Or is there a Bereavement Cafe near you. MIND here in Suffolk offer up to 20 face to face sessions but they charge Ā£33 per session or Ā£22 if you are retired/unemployed., donāt know if thatās an option for you though if money is tight. MIND can also help you find support groups locally. Have you spoken to your GP about how you are feeling?
Your feelings of isolation sound horrible and you are going through some really touch stuff all alone. Keep posting on here. No one will judge you as we are all on this horrible journey and part of a club nobody wants to be in and do understand and feel your pain.
Love and hugs to you xx
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Hi again
I forgot to say that ānobody other than my Mum āGot meā. Itās been like that all my life and it was the Sue Ryder Counselling that suggested I was Neurodivergent (ADHD) She says that Neurodivergent people have a particularly hard time with grief as we feel everything really deeply just because of how our brains work. Idk if thatās a bit of a generalisation as I think itās hard for loads of people Iāve know Iāve had it all my life because of behaviours which are all classic ADHD traits. Iāve now been seen by 3 Health Care Professionals who also agree with her. Iām on the NHS waiting list for an assessment but here in Suffolk I was told just today by a Community Clinical Psychologist that the wait time currently is 4 years!! So am having to learn new coping strategies. Xx
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All the best with your assessment. People really shouldnt have to wait so long. Plus I donāt think the correct support is there for adults. Grief is so very hard to cope with. X
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Thank you, it is really nice to chat on here. I find myself looking forward to it, even though the reasons behind it are sad.
I know what you mean about it not being the same when itās not your mum commenting or supporting. I had a panic the other day realising I couldnāt see her again. It really never sinks in properly.
Our garden will take a lot of work to get it to look like some of our neighboursā. They are retired though and can catch the rare bits of good weather. Iām no gardener but I do find it soothing to be out with the beautiful colours. I tried to attach a photo of one of the beautiful gardens from yesterday but it still doesnāt seem to work.
But itās your truth right now so is very relevant to say it on here. You wonāt be judged. Bet most is are saying OMG Ulma has just described me !!
Look after yourself
Luv and hugs to all. Xx
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You are in immense psychological pain right now. Itās Ok not to be OK as the saying goes. We understand on here. You really are amongst friends who wish you peace and happiness. Baby steps and take the little positives when they come.
Luv and hugs to all xx
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There is an ad
Hi
There is an advocacy service called Pohwer email nhscomplaints@pohwer.net tel 03094562379they will take on your complaint and deal with it for you. You are allocated an advocate whom you work with. Initially they will send you out very clearly written booklets one is a Step by Step to NHS Complaints and another one called about PoHwer NHS Complaints Advocacy. I suggest you contact them. They have been very supportive to me.
Good luck. Itās worth h talking to them. to see what they advise. They advise to initiate a complaint if thatās what they are recommending and say preferably you should do it asap but no longer than 12 months.
My daughter is a Nurse Specialist who always advising to make complaints when there has been a problem encountered. She says otherwise when we complain to our bosses they say āwell no one has complained to usā. They canāt remedy it if is not brought to their attention.xx
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I really enjoy talking to everyone on here too as I do not have any friends. People in work are still being odd which is the only place that I get to interact with people. I am hoping I can find a different job where I can meet new and like minded people. I really donāt know where I for in life so am also hoping that a new job will give me a purpose. The way o look at the garden now mum is gone is she wonāt tell me off if o do anything wrong, I have books and the internet to guide me. If anything does go wrong I only have myself to blame!
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