Ive been writing my response to the hospital today. They had put in place some additional measures after my complaint but I was astounded they weren’t already doing them. Some of the other stuff just wasn’t accurate. I also think they don’t take much account of older people or assume they are always incapable.
Hi @Malcolm2 and everyone. We bought a couple of nice new plants today which look pretty and colourful. We looked at the response to the hospital’s letter and have pretty much composed what we want to say, complete with references to the medical notes we were sent. I think I’ll sleep on it tonight and send it tomorrow, along with an email to the CQC. That will probably be it; I hope it might change their minds about some of the aspects of how they treat older patients, but I won’t hold my breath. I just wanted to do it for my mum because a lot of what happened was wrong and unfair.
I think I can then feel I’ve done what I needed to.
Hope your applications are going well. Are there many jobs in the area of work you are looking in? I’ve got my fingers crossed for you.
What we planted yesterday looks pretty sad even after all of the rain we had yesterday, I remember the garden looked sad after we lost dad, it’s like the plants are grieving too. We’ve not had many sunny days up here in Scotland so I’ve not been able to get out much. My tortoise loves spending all day out in the garden sunbathing and stomping about, he’s missing our too.
I’m glad that you have your letter all ready to go, sleeping on it is a good idea as you can look over it with fresh eyes. Your mum will be so proud seeing what you have done and so soon after losing her. I firmly believe she will be looking out for you and sending you little signs she is there, you just have to be open to seeing them.
There haven’t been many jobs in my area then these two turn up! I doubt I will get them but I am looking at it as experience filling out applications. I hope I find something soon as I can’t face another Christmas and New Year working in retail!
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You can always replant things AND you might find that gardening is your forte! I think your Mum will just be tremendously proud of your courage and commitment to take on this challenge of getting to grips with the Garden. I find Gardners are generally friendly people who are willing to give you tips and advice so maybe join a local Gardening group?
Take care and keep us updated with your garden progress. I luv gardening.
Luv and hugs to all xx
Have a look at the Pohwer Advocacy Group. That message I posted through the night was intended for you but a combination of being tired (but no sign of sleep coming) and being a bit of a technophobe I don’t know where it ended up!
Xx
How big is your garden and what is its orientation? Are you planning of using evergreen shrubs predominantly to give it some all year round shape/interest and you could under plant with bulbs for the spring /summer alongside some hardy perennial’s (ones that come back every year and also get bigger so ultimately you can divide them to make plants. You can also buy some annuals but they die when the frost comes and you have to replace each year. Did you say you lived in the Glasgow area? If so the soil there is acid predominantly that’s why rhododendrons/ azaleas etc thrive. I suggest you take pics of some plants you like the look of locally in gardens or parks that you fancy then research them on the internet. You know they will have a good chance of survival as they will be in the right soil. You can buy ph testing kits to check what type of soil you have but if it’s the Glasgow area it defo will be acid. I was born in Glasgow and just spent 15 months nursing my Mum there. She died 40 weeks ago today. What is your tortoise called? I always wanted one my friend had one and I was soo jealous.
Xx
The Pohwer Advocacy are really good Take a look at their website. I posted something about it last night which was meant for you but I do know where I actually sent it too! Oops
Good luck
Xx
Now I hope you get this. 3rd
Thanks 
I feel better for having written it. Had a nightmare last night though, about someone drowning and also my mum was in my dream in her old house. Maybe I am the one drowning!? I was trying to shout out in my sleep.
Hope work is tolerable this week. When do you think you might hear about the job you’ve applied for? Is the other application in too?
Many jobs to be done today. I don’t feel like doing any of them but I’ll get that letter off once I’ve done the shopping.
@lulujones33 thank you for the tips! I did buy some gardening books from a charity shop to give me some tips. If I’m honest I feel exhausted from work on my days off so don’t always feel like gardening. Hope you managed to get some sleep.
@Magsclar dreaming about drowning can mean you are worried about getting overwhelmed by your emotions. It could be that writing the letter has caused this, hopefully sending it on its way we help. I am going to work on the second job application on my days off this week. The closing date for both jobs is the 5th August so a couple of weeks to go!
Hiya.
I did get a whole 2 hours sleep last night! Don’t stress about the garden it will still be there when you do get some energy. You know every night I tell myself I will do this and this etc. and of course I struggle just to wash my face some days!! But I’m still here. I’m now going to make lists I think. Someone told me it’s a great feeling scoring through what you managed to do so worth a try. I told them back “I love deadlines …I love the sound they make as they pass”! A strange look
Was returned.
Xx
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It’s tough, I look at grief as a wound that never truly heals. You rip the plaster off thinking the wound has scabbed over and is healing. Only to find out it’s started bleeding again. That’s how I see grief at the moment.
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I’ve sent off my letters to CQC and the hospital so feel glad I’ve done that. Not sure I will get much more out of it but I needed to do it. I was quite tearful again earlier but just feel relieved to have made the points I wanted to for mum.
I also managed to do a bit of tidying plus the shopping so have got on ok really. I also found some photos I’ve been looking for for a while, so that’s a win.
Good that you have a while to think about your applications. Are the jobs fairly close to home for you?
Off to water our new plants so they’re not too thirsty. It looked like it might rain and do the job for me but has brightened up again now!
I don’t think I could function on two hours sleep, I think I had about four hours last night then I had to be up at 3am for work. I just don’t seem to have the mental energy for anything except sitting and watching tv. I’m on my feet a lot at work so that seems to deplete what little energy I have. Lists can be good and ticking them off feels like an achievement but just watch it doesn’t put you under pressure to get it complete. As for your comment, people just don’t have a sense of humour! We have to try and laugh otherwise we would cry.
Grief does feel like a plaster being repeatedly ripped off, you just don’t know when someone is going to creep up on you to do it. Grief is that really annoying person at work you can’t hide from and will not leave you alone. You just want to sit in the canteen on your break in peace and quiet then you see them walk in and its goodbye happiness. Wouldn’t it be lovely to tell them to get lost. There’s been many times over the last three years and now I could poke grief in the eye and tell it to do one.
I’m so glad you were able to send the letters off today, it is out of your hands now, just got to wait and see what they come back with. It will have been upsetting for you but see it as a bit of release. I did do a bit of hoovering when I got home but it was a lick and a promise! Work was just the pits today so I tried to focus on the fact I have applied for a job, and have one in the works this week. I have written all kinds of legal essays on topics such as: contract, employment, property and company law but writing 250 word statements and cover letters taxes the brain!
Here’s to another week of unpredictability but at least we have each other and chocolate 
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I think I need to look into counseling on here
Hiya
I would defo recommend it. The counsellor was very professional, warm and friendly but most importantly she heard what I was saying and that alone is a help.take care. I would go for it. My counsellor was Integrative/Person Centred.
Xx
Hiya
Yeah it can be raw and painful at times maybe the problem is that we try and fix/make the wound close. Maybe we need to let the grief out instead of trying to cover it up/repress it hoping it will get better. Sometimes wounds need to be uncovered so the air can get to them and help heal them. I think it’s the same with grief.
Take care
Xx
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Hi Malcolm
No wonder you are tired… I’m exhausted just reading your post!! Working, commuting , hoovering!! What are you some kind of a workaholic ??
So OK I had 2 hours less sleep than you but I though I had done really well today as not only did I sit around most of the day, I shifted my massive pile of ironing from dining table onto the chair , although I didn’t iron anything at all AND I ordered a Take Away. Ta Dah. Howz that for a productive day? I know you are amazed!!!
I recently been diagnosed with Myaloma Cancer. I’m 3 weeks into Chemo, Wednesday will be my 4yh session. I think this and losing my mum has made more emotional. I had something similar in October 2020 I had a popped ulcer and spent 5 days in critical care before going to normal ward with pneumonia. It does effect you knowing you could die or you in a life threatening situation. You tend to look back at your life and your memories. I got through that and now Myaloma Cancer, which is a blood cancer. I had a brief chat and I can have a buddy service with Myaloma support UK. But I’m at the beginning of all this and I’m trying to protect myself too. So I’m caught up between the two and I have to live with it every day. I get through it some how but I do get emotional. It is tough to be diagnosed with Myaloma and the 2 person you wished was there for you isn’t no more. We all had somebody to go to with things like this a partner or a prarent.
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Brief statements are often the hardest as you have to encapsulate a range of ideas in a short space. As you have experience of writing such complex law-related documents though, I’m sure you’ve got this well covered. Sorry work was rubbish. It doesn’t help when that’s grim.
If the hoovering was only a lick and a promise, maybe the cat could help by doing some when you’re out at work! I’m sure Loki would oblige! My mum used to call a quick wash a cat lick.
Back to the chocolate for us all, I think.
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