I only hoovered the downstairs, I didn’t have it in me to do the whole house and the stairs! I hoped I’d have found a rich man by now so that I could be a kept woman. Alas that hasn’t happened so one must do one’s own cleaning!
Cancer has a habit of taking over your whole life. Sounds like you need grief counselling and help coming to terms with your diagnosis. The chemo will also hit you hard physically and mentally so keep an eye on that too in case you need additional meds. It’s hard going through the bad times without our parents, my dad would make tea to cure all problems, mum would listen to me then rant about it with me and I would feel better.
When we did at home assessments during the lockdowns there wasn’t a word limit. One commercial law assessment was 16 pages long! Having to sell myself to begin with isn’t easy then having to do it in 250 words with enough bumf to stand out too! At least with a legal question I had legislation and case law to get me started!
Going back to the chemo, there’s a lot of stigma attached to cancer. I don’t know how I feel about it, I tried to not read too much into it and just do what’s asked if me. My main concern was my back I had 5 fractured. Which I struggled with my back since March and it turned me into a 75 year old. That’s eased up quite a bit, I’m a good patient or so I would like to think so. I done everything I can and what’s been asked of me. But it has made me emotional and vulnerable at the same time. I’m quite a deep thinker and question everything that happens. I’m not religious but I thought a lot about life and where I’m going and people generally. I don’t believe in fate I believe things happen for a reason. I try to get by with music as it’s always been there for me. I’m doing chemo on my own grounds and dealing with it in my own terms and I can say so far, I not had any problems with the injections. I can only do this my way with a lot of music chucked in every day as music is my first love.
My mum was the same, she didn’t want to know a lot about the leukaemia and the treatment she was getting. She fought the symptoms of the disease, treatment and any illnesses. She did get told that the injections would only give her another two years due to her age; she went on to live another 4 1/2 years. Her doctors said that her got and determination got her where she was. I’m not religious either but I do believe we go on afterwards as o can’t bare the thought of my parents and pets I have lost being gone and that’s it. It’s you cancer journey so you must travel it the way you want to
I prey I’m united with my mum one day and like you I can’t bare the thought of not seeing mum again. Mum my roots and she put everything into me and my life and who I am now. I now realize this you don’t when they are alive, you learn so much after dealing with death and we all will have to with ourselves one day. I didn’t want to know how it wouldn’t to know how Myaloma would shorten my life. I was told by doctor, but since I found out that people have continued to live after being diagnosed with Myaloma 11 years on. I protected myself for the journey ahead. People are living normal life’s with Myaloma. I’m at the beginning so I got a way to go as of yet, I have a better understanding of the journey ahead of me. But at the moment I think I can do it, Myaloma is treatable it’s not a death sentence, but it always will be with me as it is a blood cancer.
As mum was 70 when she was diagnosed there was no cure just treatment to manage it. For younger people like you there are so many options. You’ve just got to be careful when you are around people who are unwell. That was a nightmare for us at the beginning especially when Covid hit, we adjusted after a while. I know it might sound daft but I saw signs when I knew mum was nearing the end. I was kind of prepared when they said she has two weeks left. Our loved ones will be waiting for us when our time comes too.
Commercial law sounds quite thorny and complex. I know what you mean about it being difficult to stand out on brief personal statements whilst having enough room to include all the elements you need to. Also I am a bit of a ranter and used to do the same with mum when she was younger. We’d have a few phone calls when she lived at home and I’d have a bit of a grumble and get things off my chest. Not so much in recent years even though she lived with us, as she got increasingly deaf which does cause a bit of a barrier. Deafness is overlooked really but it does have a severe impact on quality of life.
I agree with you @Keith68 about music being the thing to keep you going, it often is for me too. What music do you like?
[quote=“Cheri, post:315, topic:86808”]
lost my mum 8 weeks ago, she was in hospital she had copd and a massive heart attack, we became close the last six years as the rest of the siblings did nt talk fell out. I became ill with a chronic condition and wish I could have done more, but I couldn’t, so we got carers in she was so independent, I just have my husband and at home with Covid as well. I do feel guilty for not being there there when she had a fall and a heart attack, but I was ill myself, it’s so hard, I was with her in hospital until she passed in front of me, it’s a struggle everyday. Thanks for reading
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I’m sorry. I know the struggle is so hard. After 4 months I am feeling more tearful than ever. We all wanted to keep our mums safe and with us forever, never thinking we could be without them. And when it happens it’s so very hard to cope.
Yes it’s true it’s a roller coaster of emotions any thing I see of hers I just break down in tears, they say we learn to live with it that’s all, my father passed thirty years ago, and I still miss him bad,
Commercial law was complex at times but I did enjoy it as it involved contracts. I saw it as a puzzle that needed to be worked out.
@Cheri I am so sorry, this Friday it will be 8 weeks since I lost my mum. It seems a short time but also feels like such a long time ago. I think about my mum all throughout the day, sometimes I feel ok to think about her but other times I am upset. For the first few weeks I was in a state of numbness and the the guilt would set in as I couldn’t understand why I felt nothing. It’s a long journey we have to travel on but o am glad that I came here
Life a journey and death is part of that journey. A lot of people can’t face or ignore it, we all guilty of that. I been to the hospital earlier and visited friends. Getting out does help as you are distracted.
Let us know how your appointment goes. We wore masks at work to prevent ourselves from catching anything and passing it on to mum. The staff knew about mum so excepted us wearing them. When mum was in hospital we had masks on when we went to visit her until one of her specialists told us we weren’t to wear them. It seemed strange as mum had no immune system and could easily catch something. For the 4 1/2 years mum went up for her treatment every month she wore a mask. From about a year before we lost her one particular nurse kept having a go at her for still wearing one! It’s good that you are getting to wear masks as this new strain of covid seems highly contagious