My family is just my sister. My dad had relatives in Liverpool but they didn’t speak for years. Mum contacted them when he passed away but there was no interest. Up here in Scotland it’s Executory Law. I’ve got to wait 6 months before I can pay out the residual estate to my sister and I. Mum didn’t have a lot so I am able to deal with it myself. I am just going to have to sit at my desk tonight with a cup of tea and wait on the phone until they answer. I’m glad you feel better today, we all have to take the rough with the smooth
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I still have some wobbly moments realising I can’t ever see her or talk to her. Also realising how much I miss being home in a familiar area. Am exhausted by the whole thing. After work I lay on the bed for an hour and a half and just slept. My son hasn’t been well after his operation and has been off work too. Everything seems a slog at the moment, but I feel I’ve done all I can for mum now.
Weather looks very threatening as though we may get a storm any minute. Ah well, have to postpone the gym again! 
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We hear you and I lose a lot of time to my bed. Like you things are constantly on top of me.
Monday was doctor consultation day, Tues was Dentist day, Today was New Chemo cycle day and wait for fresh meds day, I was in the clinic for 4 and half hours. Wasn’t plain sailing either as my heart rate was lower on OBS . So they had to consult a doctor before injections. When I eventually got home after shopping I had a letter telling me they still not received my pip application form, so was on the phone to them. After that I had to ring up a debt recovery company as I still owed 550 in Council Tax and the greedy council had referred me to them and told I had notifications about the debt, I hadn’t The council lie, take, take give 0 back I made a payment of 150 and set up a direct debit with them. They were more symphatic in the phone then the council tax phone line. Don’t think they care, or want to answer the phone in the first place, they rather the DWP deal with it. That’s the impression I get, not once did they apologise or acknowledge my condition or the fact that I’m not currently not working They don’t care pure and simple, I could tell by her tone of voice. So that’s been my Wednesday so far!
@Magsclar I miss being able to talk to mum about things. Work has been tough again the last couple of days, people think that because we are back at work we’re over it and life goes on. The grief hasn’t done a moonlight flit and left us to carry on as normal. It’s become such a toxic environment where even the managers are moaning and back stabbing. I know how hard it is for you dealing with everything and worrying about your son. I hope he starts to feel better soon, I bet you are liking him being at home though. It’s been a lovely day here but this evening the cloud has started to roll in. I hate thunderstorms especially during the night, they have the potential to cause so much damage. I did put my tortoise out in the garden for a bit when I got home from work, he threw a tantrum though when I brought him back in! I’m off to the opticians tomorrow for an eye test and I need new glasses, so much fun!
@Keith68 why does everything to do with local government have to be so hard?! Sounds like you have had a busy week already and it’s only Wednesday! How did you get on at the dentist? Don’t ask me when I last went as I have no clue it was that long. I begrudge paying to see a dentist when every other area of our bodies gets treated for free. What is so special about teeth that people can set up private practices? Mum slept a lot when she first started treatment, it was a combination of the disease and the treatment. She adjusted after a while plus they say to keep active as doing something elevates the fatigue. Get one of those extendable dusters and sit on the settee and do some dusting! The garden kept mum going and she liked to do cross stitch, knitting and watching murder programmes!
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My mum used to like the murder mystery weekends at the local theatre. She would go to most plays when younger. She was still going to the cinema till one night the bus pulled from a red light and fell on her humerus bone, it went down down hill from there really. Mum came more house bound, carers were useless but took 470 a month off her. I did try and take her out now and again in wheelchair but it was hard work as we lived on a hill. It was killing on me pushing her up a hill. Mum had a broken humerus but was scared to go through with surgery because of the aniseptic. So she lived with a broken arm for the rest of her life, mum could be stubborn. mum had Dementia but what level I didn’t know. She had something wrong with heart too, but once again when I went with her to the hospital to have a MRI scan I knew she was nervous about it. Mum couldn’t complete it, the same place I had my MRI scan two weeks ago. I completed mine, I had too.
The dentist are to refer me to a specialist ie Hospital.
I’m sorry. When you’re down life seems to try its best to kick you even further. And nobody ever wants to be helpful or answer queries. It’s even worse by email too.
I agree with you about carers too. We had some for my mum once when we were away. Never again. Charged us a fortune per hour and they were only ever there for 5 minutes. Told us they had done things when we phoned up which they hadn’t. Seems to me if you’re healthy and wealthy life is good, but if you need any help then life is made very difficult for you. There’s not much compassion.
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Thanks @Malcolm2 . We had a big storm here last night. Not loads of rain but a lot of thunder which woke me up and some lightning. I’d love to see a tortoise in a tantrum! I hope you restrained him! Hope the opticians goes well. The sight in my left eye seems significantly worse so I shall have to go for another test soon. As you say, so much fun!
It feels like a lot of people that go into caring roles aren’t very caring at all, I can’t understand why they do it. Maybe they see it as easy money because they get away with not doing what they are supposed to. It’s hard caring for a parent, we do it without question or complaint, it can be physically and emotionally draining. My mum had a heart problem and her body was riddled with arthritis, towards the end of her life we were pushing her around in a wheelchair. She would be verbally abusive which was hard too, then an hour later she would be loving and caring, such a rollercoaster!
I wouldn’t have been happy to get woken up by a thunderstorm, not good when there isn’t a lot of rain! My tortoise, Heelie was stomping about his house traipsing his nice tea everywhere! Due to health problems I have to keep him on newspaper so that was strewn we everywhere. After a while he got tired and climbed under the newspaper and went to bed!!! I like getting new glasses as it feels like I’m seeing the world in HD, I just don’t like the pressure of having to pick them after that test is done. It feels like they are rushing me. We are going in a bit earlier so I can pick ready. Don’t think my sister is too impressed helping me, she’s all on for the cheaper ones and I’m more go for a brand that will last! So I think she may be a bit grumpy about that.
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Hi Keith
Your Mum sounds like a fighter and was lucky to have your help and strength. I’m glad the hospital are helping you but it all must be so tiring and as for having to deal with DWP that’s also so very tiring and frustrating in me experience.
Take care
Xx
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Thank You Lulu, I would like to think I am too, what with I’m going through. Bits it’s a challenge and something to keep me focused on.
I think a lot of carer companies promise you the earth but don’t deliver. The costs are huge too. Definitely social care needs to be tackled and the elderly not let down time after time.
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Hope you got some good glasses. They always push you to the more expensive frames and I can never decide what suits me best. It annoys me to have to wear them at all.
Heelie sounds like fun. I like the way tortoises always look utterly determined as they go on their way. Does he like cats?!
Yes we’ll the Tory’s didn’t care, they through them under the bus and led to privitasion of the care sector. My mum had to go into care homes and that built up 2k in debt. Which had to be sorted through probate. One occasion couldn’t be helped, in October I was admitted to hospital and was in hospital for 3 weeks. Popped ulcer so was on intensive care for 5 days, when kicked off intensive I developed phenemonia . They put mum from October till January in a care home for mental illness and drug misuse. She hated it but I was powerless to get her out because of my health and recovery. Upto 2020 I only been admitted to hospital once in my life. Mum thought I put her in and did mention to her on several occasions I would put her in a home. But the truth is I never actually did and wouldn’t because I knew mum didn’t want to be in a home and I would never do that to her. Whilst in the home mum fell and cut her head. They glued her head. There was woman younger then my mother who carried a doll around all day, she thought it was her baby. Disturbing , but sad at the same time. Care is just about business and people getting richer by using cheap labour and creaming the money of the elderly It’s just profiteering of the old. I now feel mums in a better place and hope to be re united one day, like all of us. We have to believe there’s somewhere better then this world. Back in November or December I was invited by the funeral place to light a candle for mum. I went alone people from the funeral place where there and remember saying to them I’m alone. Reply no you not we are here with you. That meant a lot to me at the time, the victor was New to the church and she had recently lost her mum at the time. So I chatted to her at the end as her mum and mum had similar names. I was leaning towards the thought process that mum hadn’t gone but had moved onto another dimension. I watched a lot of videos on near death experiences and even after I was diagnosed with Myaloma Cancer. I didn’t know how to take it, a blessing or a curse. I still don’t know! Friends and sister, I’m the only one who thinks like this. But victor back then said to me refused to believe that death was the end. I wasn’t joking I was serious with her and Iwouldnt class myself as religious but I’m not closed minded to it. I seen stuff on FB and I watched special carers in the USA that have looked after near death people and she explained her experience in these situations. I like learning and understanding stuff, I’m not a child who leaves stupid comments on FB. Any help I can get I will take.
The elderly shouldn’t have to pay to for care, they’ve paid tax and national insurance all their working lives in preparation for their later years. I gave up on politics a long time ago!
I got to the opticians early so I could spend time choosing glasses. I hate it if I leave it until after my eye test as the assistants are very pushy, they don’t care what pair I pick as long as I hurry up! I put Heelie out in the garden for a bit when we got home, he was in his element stomping about. The lawn desperately needs cutting but it’s been raining so much, I knew where he was as I saw the tall grass flapping about! He has a fascination about the back of the shed, he walks back and forth. I put him back in his house and he has this particular stomp which means he tired. As soon as I cover him up he goes to sleep! He’s never been bothered by Loki, when mum went into hospital I got an indoor Ring camera so I could check on him when I wasn’t at home. One time I got a notification to say there was an intruder in my downstairs (sounds rude I know), when I went on the camera, Loki had climbed into Heelie’s house and was sniffing the camera!
Which is your Torois ? spelt wrong! listening to That’s Life by Frank Sinatra. Lyrics are awesome, just bloody feel like it! I got a friend and she has been very helpful to me and I really do appreciated it. But the woman is obsessed with me getting a shower and my washing and hate being lectured. I’m like f**k washing showers. Prioitys come first with me, calls to Myeloma nurses, Macmillian,Housing Association, cleaning. Sorting stuff de cluttering . I bought a Diffuser from Amazon yesterday, that arrived today. So I ordered another one for my bedroom.
You know I can’t think about it; everything or do everything in a day, it’s impossible. But she breeds pedigree cats, and she got on top of it now. But thier old property used to stink of the cats, the smell was dreadful, almost unbearable.
I like fighting music or uplifting music, can’t live without music. I use music to my advantage. The friend also said I wouldn’t return to work either. unknowing to her I been in touch with all company’s and football clubs in and out of hospital. My got a lot of support and jobs are open to me. I only getting 540 sick pay a month because of my mums will and I have too much in bank to get money from the DWP. I refuse to give in and like you would like to work from home.
Cat woman wants me to get savings so I’m under the threshold again. I’m a bit more cautious even though I spent a bit already. Mum was so tight with money it caused a lot of augments and name calling between us we both fire signs. So we did fight, I wasted a lot of my life too out of work. It’s only 6 years ago I realised how easy it was to make money in security. My badge runs out in Jan but like I said I kept in touch with a lot of the companies hmm 1security company, 2 event security companies and another 2 football clubs. I could work for another 1 too oh NVC security too. But I would also like to work from home in trade currency. There’s got to be a way, I bought a used Mac thinking how can I make money without killing myself in security. But I’m working hard at home now, probably more then in security but obviously not 11 hour shifts. Got a call on the 20th about work even though I declared all my savings and getting no financial help what so ever from them.
Glad you are keeping going and refusing to give in. Sounds like your mum was very poorly treated. You also fall into the area where you don’t qualify for help because of finances. Keep on fighting!
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