There’s time yet to live your life once you come out the other side of your treatment. I think your aunty is running ahead a bit, just got to get your body sorted out first so you don’t end up with more broken bones. Have they said how long your treatment will go on for?
You really shouldnt have to move, but I can understand why you want to. I find people are often so unthinking. No, @Malcolm2, no gym yet! Lol, too hot. There’s always a good excuse!. To be fair we were going once or twice a week plus badminton with my son, but all our normality seems to have changed since we lost mum and we’re all out of kilter.
@Keith68 you are working so hard to get things done and overcome your illness, you should realise how much you’re already doing. @Malcolm2 did you have another job application deadline today?
We spoke to our manager who’s is worried about our mental health. She wants to keep us on her dept so that she can keep an eye on us and move our shifts around if need be. We had another guy who works with us tell us today that I should be getting counselling as I should be over it by now; it’s only been 2 months since we lost mum. The woman I’ve been telling you about told her manager today that her not speaking has been crossed wires. When we were off our manager told her that we were private and wanted to be left alone. She’s making out she hasn’t spoken to us in nearly two month because she didn’t want to upset us. When I said to the manager that all she had to do was say hello or ask us how work was but he just stuck up for her. The 2 jobs I applied for close at midnight tonight.
The work really should help support you .I have had issues with my mental health for years and work has been supportive if a need days off or holidays to speak with counselling or my doctors .And when lost my dad also were very supportive it helps knowing there is someone to help as grief is hard enough and work should support best they can and listen to how your feeling .people assume when back at work thats you back to normal
I don’t understand people these days and their views on how long grief should take. I know it might sound daft but I miss the time during the pandemic when we had to stay away from people. Working in a supermarket meant I still had to go to work but we all kept a distance and out of one another’s way as much as possible. I used to work the twilight shift until my job got moved to the early starts, I think on the later shift there wasn’t as many people in so I didn’t get any of the problems.
I think they pencilled me in for a December Stem Cell Transplant. Chemo sessions leading up to that. I think when you lose a pearent it changes you. It changed me how I think and I’m quite emotional charged. Felt the tears come with Sky news earlier. Someone organized Bubbles to heaven for the 3 littles girls, that moved me. Just thinking about it, I cried more in the last year then I have in my life. People usually dismiss religious people in life, But I think we need it, two reasons to believe that death isn’t the end. Near death to prepare ourselves for the end. I’m not religious but it’s plays it’s part
Don’t listen to him, everyone is different and there’s no indication how long grief last for.
I feel bad for getting upset in work as my sister doesn’t, she holds in her feelings, it’s meant that people think I’m struggling and she is not.
Chemo up until December will be pretty gruelling for you but you will get there and getting a stem cell transplant is light at the end of the tunnel, I’ve read good things about it. Mum was 70 when she was diagnosed so she could only get treatment to keep the blood cancer in check, curative treatment was too harsh.
I’m not religious at all, I do believe that we go on afterwards though. The day before we were told that mum only had two weeks left we pushed mum in her wheelchair around the hospital grounds. The whole time a robin followed us wherever we went, I am convinced that it was my dad and I saw it as a sign that mum’s time was near the end. I have to believe that mum and dad are still with us in some shape or form as it gives me comfort in this horrible world.
1 Like
We all need that especially in todays world. They say a Robin is a sign a loved one is close. Awwww Robins are sweet little birds, we all need to take comfort where ever we can get it from. Last time I visited mum, my TV came on by itself 2 nights in a row. I think we all would take any communication from our lost ones in any shape of form.
I really do think the robin was dad letting me know that he was there to guide us through what was to come. Not long after we lost mum I dreamt about mum, she was upset telling me she couldn’t fight anymore and had to go. I told her it was ok as we couldn’t see her suffer any longer. I think mum was worried that she gone earlier than expected and didn’t want us to be upset about it
My mum looked peaceful, mum went in her sleep. I need to visit mum again, not been up since Mother’s Day. It’s almost coming up to a year when mum passed away. I need to sort a headstone out too. Been on the phone to the place that deals with it. Need to book an appointment, before approaching my sister. Not really close and she wasn’t to mum either but received halve of mum’s estate. She got her money before me as I was in hospital, when she visited.
It’s the best way to go, she will have been comfy and not known anything about it. Family is complicated isn’t it?!
Well friends are trying to prepare me for the worst. But like I said mum’s estate was split evenly. So I’m hoping splitting the cost of the headstone won’t be too complicated or harsh. But my sister has resentment regards mum. It would be upsetting for me and I hope my sister has the decency to do the right thing. Sister chose not to be close! I just hope friend wrong!
I think when you lose someone close it changes you. I have said I’m not religious and I been to a few funerals in my life. But I spoke to a few people and I remembered asking someone what they wanted most. If course it was connected to earth and financial. Where I want to see mum again, that’s all I want it to be united. I think losing mum has changed me and how I think. I continue in this world from day to day like all of us. But it’s not the same is it ? Of course Myeloma fits in with this as well, which I don’t know has effected my thinking too. But I believe things happen for a reason, even if we don’t understand the reasons. So much we don’t know and probably not meant to know. It’s a fascinating subject and a subject we can’t hide or escape from.
Would the cost of the headstone not come out of your mum’s estate i.e funeral costs? I have a brother but I haven’t spoken to him since mum was diagnosed in 2019. There were things he did and didn’t do that I will never be able to forgive him for, he was the same when we lost dad. He was there for our mum but never for my dad, sister and I.
Because of Myaloma and almost 2 weeks in hospital. My sister beat me to it. Bought a bit of paper in for me to sign. I only had been diagnosed a hour before and wasn’t expecting her. When you get news like that and it will shorten your life you don’t think money. Besides my sister had already got her paws in her share of the money. So I was at a big disadvantage
That was pretty dirty getting you to sign paperwork when you were in hospital, it could have waited until you were home and settled. What was the rush under the circumstances?
Hope everyone else is doing ok?
I don’t know, money meant nothing to me at the time. I know me really well, I tend to think of my life and all the memories from my life. Obviously my mum played a big part in that, you don’t see that when they are alive. We get swallowed up in today’s world. Work make money and repeat. If the world was different and people were better looked after by governments. We choose to have more time with family. We take a lot for granted even life itself. Having a serious health scare changes that. We are obsessed with money and greed. Even more so with the cost of living crisis and low wage growth.
I’m trying to think of happier times tonight to lift my mood a bit. When I was a kid my mum bought this second hand sideboard with clear glass doors on it. Mum wanted the glass changing to smoked glass and the knobs changing to brass ones. Me and dad had to go all the way over the other side of Torquay where we lived to get these custom glass doors made and the hole drilled in them for the knobs. We go all the way home, dad screws the new knobs on the doors and he screws one on too tight and cracks the glass. Mum goes mental and we have to go all the way back to get more cut. We come home and dad did the same thing again! Back we go and come back and yep, he did it again! Mum was catatonic with rage and the man in the glass cutters took one look at us going back in again and just went off and started cutting again! Anyone else got any funny stories?
1 Like
I got a couple, mum bought a living room unit big. I cleaned it at the weekend. It’s solid and only desembles in half and weighs a ton.
Mum ordered a wardrobe from a very expensive shop but known for quality furniture for her room. In order to make space she rung Btitish Heart Foundation to come and collect it. They arrived looked at it and refused to take it. There was 2 of them, well I knew mum needed it taking down so I looked at it and thought I can do this got it dismantled and out in the garden. Mum looked at it and I told her Btitish Heart Foundation refused to take it. So I did it, I surprised her that day.