Hey @Wanderers100 it’s good to see you, how are you doing?
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Mobile gaming system
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I’m thinking about the future and how I can turn things around in my life. I could have a long weekend away, but that’s about it for now because of my Chemo sessions. Could do with a nice holiday with single people like myself.
You’re brave as I can’t face mixing with people at the moment. It’s one thing chatting to customers but socialising is a bit out of my comfort zone. If you do go away just be careful as you are susceptible to picking up infections, covid still seems to be pretty rife at the moment
Yes, you are right there with a low immune system.
Can’t stop spending at Next at the moment. Eventually I’m shaping mum’s wardrobe to my liking. But I will keep some clothes of hers! more trips to a charity shop, mum could of put a coat on every Liverpool FC player. So yes like most I couldn’t do straight away and then Myeloma struck. But I’m slowly I’m getting there. Mum was a socializer and couldn’t resist if she saw a mum or parents with a baby. She had to go up and pass compliment on the baby. I got into music in my teens and in 86 wanted a pair of double decks. I wanted to DJ from the age of 14,15 . I eventually did and went through the vinyl, CD, and laptop eras. So was used to dealing and talking with people. I got compliments which was nice, but vinyl was the best as you had to work back then. Think what would work on the dance floor, then find it and then cue it up and what you had 3 or 4 minutes to do + use a mic if needed. So I been around people all my life, I can’t bare the thought of me being a recluse, it’s not who I am, and if mum is looking down she would be sad at what life has made me.
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There’s places online that you can send clothes to and they turn them into memory bears, that might be an idea for some of your mum’s clothes?
I hope that you can get back out socialising again and be out with people once you’ve finished your treatment. Sounds a good idea to join some groups.
Hi Malcolm! I’ve been having good days and bad I guess! My eye has been getting me down and I really ought to see an optician but mentally I find it very difficult to get out. I have bad health anxiety as well as all the other stuff. If I really push myself then often things often turn out ok. But I think without mum and dad here I have no motivation. Great to see you and @Magsclar still conversing! And @Keith68
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Hi @Wanderers100 good to hear from you. Sorry you are struggling with your eye problems. Are you able to make yourself set up an appointment and combine it with something that’s a treat as an incentive? As you say, things often can work out if you can face doing them.
Yes it’s really nice we are continuing to talk. Some days seem ok then others are so difficult. Good to have people to share feelings with. X
@Wanderers100 I’m sorry that you are having a rough time, that is the nature of grief: up days and down days, we just have to ride the many storms. I am sorry that we have taken over your post, you posting though has done a wonderful thing, it has brought people together. I would be lost without the people on this thread to talk to. @Magsclar that is a good idea to have a treat lined up after doing something stressful. I know that Specsavers do eye tests at home, it might be worth contacting them to see if you are eligible. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on. I don’t think my mental health would be in a good place if I hadn’t come across your post, I can’t thank you enough for that X
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Just to let you know and I like to keep people updated on daily life. Besides I like chatting to people are genuinely honest and open, which is a rarely on the net. 2 trip out in the car today, been to get quotes for headstones today for mum. Would like a black granite stone with Silver characters on. Don’t like gold as i think it’s shouts out at you, besides silver looks a lot better on black, more smarter to the eye. But gold more traditional where silver is more modern. Whilst in the area mate alerted me to a Sue Ryder shop nearby, so obviously had loaded car up with more of mum’s clothing and dropped them off at the Sue Ryder shop. Wanted to give something back to the charity, did asked her about support groups whilst in the shop. But she told me it’s all online. Shame as I do feel a lot of people on here would benefit from group meets.
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Sounds like youv’e had a busy day. I took my cat to the vets for his booster then spent the rest of the day relaxing. I’m hoping the weather is nice tomorrow so I can go out in the garden and terrorise some weeds! I’m just making burgers in the air fryer for tea. I think support groups got moved online during Covid and things have just stayed that way which is a shame.
Maggie’s have gone back to actual meets for group meets The old ways are the best without a doubt Probably comes down to money ie hire of rooms. Maggie’s in Nottingham has their own building so makes a difference.
Good idea to give some things to Sue Ryder. We gave them a piece of furniture we were getting rid of. A good idea because it was in good condition, just not needed any more and can go to a good home. Sometimes I think it’s easier to say stuff online, but it would still be nice to meet people. But we wouldn’t be in contact if it was face to face as we live too far apart, so at least we have made these contacts which we might not have done.
Weather here has been rainy. Have you had any job application news @Malcolm2 ?
My days are quite busy at the moment. Playing catch up after Myeloma and now I got money there’s things I want to do that’s important to me. Only been out in car once, sometimes I type in a rush and then press reply without reading what I put or trying to multitask and this phone doesn’t do me any favours. I prefer MS word as it does everything for you, picks out bad Grammer or spellings. But time flys as probably trying to cram too much into a day.
There’s a Maggie’s at my local hospital but like @Magsclar I like being able to speak to people online. Meeting face to face can only be done at a set time and with work and life it’s hard to get out and meet people. Online I can speak to you all throughout the day not just once a week, we are there for each other more than if we could meet up. When I had counselling through the college it was only 45 mins once a week for 6 weeks, it wasn’t enough time to really talk things through. My sister and I haven’t sorted mums things out yet, we don’t feel ready which I know mum didn’t want, we’ll get there in time. I’ve not heard anything back from either of the jobs yet, I suppose there are so many people applying for jobs these days that it takes time. Loki was well behaved at the vets today, I think it had something to do with the sedative I had to give him! He usually growls at the vet and goes in for the kill so they prescribed me with tablets to mellow him out. He woke me up a few times last night and I even woke up at one point to find him curled up against my chest! He can be pretty stealth like at times for a 6kg cat. Tomorrow is house work and weeding the garden to within an inch of its life, I’m sure I’ll put Charlie Dimmock to shame only I will be more suitably attired!!
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Last post but I wanted to do whilst it’s fresh in my mind. Say and had a coffee with friends today after the appointment with the stonemasons. Only son 1 night his dad rung him up from hospital asked him he had watched a 80s programme on tv which he did. Usually his dad would ended the call with I
will speak to you tomorrow. But this time he told his son he loved him and that triggered me, my mum said the same when I visited. I’m surrounded by triggers in the flat and on top of that memories too. I think of those words and the tears come and looking back I wished I had not stayed away from the hospital for 10 days. I put work first and the stupid hospital rung my other phone instead of this one, even though they had both numbers. I still not cancelled my other contract because of voice messages left by the hospital. But the triggers won’t stop, it’s a good thing because it shows we was close to our parents and maybe we didn’t always show it to them at the time but we did love and care for them.
The next day his dad had a heart attack and died. He knew he was in trouble and wouldn’t last much longer, he knew. That’s why he ended the call with those words. They know! I wished I had told my mum I loved back, but I always not been open with my feelings to anyone. But mum moved me when she said that to me, just like now I’m emotional whilst typing this. I used to struggle with Madness It must be love, now I’m seem to be ok with it. There’s a line from that song " it’s you I need to take those blues away. That line resonated with me and the tears came. If I would always talk to mum to help me and update her whilst she was in hospital. The hardest thing I don’t have her to turn too and that’s heart breaking.
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You’re pretty good at keeping the garden in check. I’m afraid I’m rather lazy with it although I don’t mind doing the mowing. My husband does most of it and we keep it in order and with flowers in the borders and pots but the weeding gets a bit out of hand sometimes.
Glad Loki is behaving, and hope you do hear about the jobs soon. House cleaning day tomorrow which I don’t like but we might go to the cinema too. Oh and I might be doing something fun this evening which I will tell you about later but has been cancelled twice already so we’ll see! Nothing rude!!