ABBA has never been a group I would listen to but I did love to get up and dance to them on nights out. These days my feet are crippled with all the walking I do at work so I much prefer a cup of tea in front of the tv these days!
Iāve always liked Abba even though Iām more into Indie type music, I had all their albums. Not sure about Voyage though. I want to remember how they were.
Sorry your day was rubbish. Hope you and your sister are feeling ok and you had some kitty cuddles this evening x
I like all sorts and listen to what ever I fancy! lyrics are important to me in a lot of songs. As I think honesty comes out in music, it must be hard to write a song, without something of that person not coming out in the song. @ the moment listening to Feel by Robbie Williams another artist who writes from the heart. Music is like films a actor takes on a role and it must be hard when they finished a film coming out of the character. Heath Ledger comes to mind after playing the Joker in the Batman film. Not much honesty in the world today from anyone, so we have to tune into what we can to help us mentally.
I messaged someone on here about something they had put in a thread about the afterlife. After losing mum I was lost and still am, I had a online tarrot card reading done on FB. I watched stuff on You Tube about near death experiences. I wanted to know that something better awaits us when itās our time. We have to face it too and deal with it. I was in ited by the funeral people to attend a church service to light a candle for her last November. I went on my own and I said Iām on my own to the funeral people, which reply was no you not we are here with you. Which touched me,
Itās not easy to do something like that on your own, but I wanted too for mum. Afterwards I had a chat with the new vicor about death and the afterlife. She told me she refuses to except itās the end when we die. I want to see mum again, nothing has changed in my mind. I want to believe something awaits me better then this world. Iām not religious either but I feel vulnerable now Iām on my own, kind of like a child. I feel I need to be loved and hugged. But Im not really a hugging type of person.
Regarding a pet I once had a dog s Yorkshire Terrier named Mickey after Mickey Mouse. It was a long time ago, Yorkies are very lovable dogs. But I think I could struggle now with my Myeloma looking after a dog.
I cleaned mumās scooter earlier it was a bit dusty, so cleaned it up and put it on charge. Was thinking of selling it but not sure now. Mum paid 2k for that scooter and how much will I get back of that from a sale ? not to mention my back and the 7 fractures. I donāt know how thatās going, if my back is getting better with the chemo drugs killing the Myeloma cells.
Last time I saw the consultant I know drugs were working and the Myeloma cells had reduced by a significant amount. But my back had gone from 5 fractures to 7. So hanging onto mumās scooter might be a good thing to do for now. The scooter woman suggested that to me when I popped in to the scooter shop last Friday. I wont give it away as that would feel like I betrayed my mum and would upset me. I canāt do that! The scooter never been used, which is upsetting in itself. The plan was to take mum out in my car after passing my test. It never happened as anyone will tell you itās scary when you go out for the first time on your own with no instructor. Not only that but there was a 6 month gap between passing my test and buying a car. I still have scary moments especially on non light controlled roundabouts and Iām still getting beeped after 2nd year of car insurance. The Myeloma hasnāt helped me with driving either. But I will get there!7
I got lots of kitty cuddles! Heās kept coming in to me during the night for cuddles too! We did our food shop and got some nice meals to cheer us up on our days off. Are you doing ok? x
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I do believe that itās not the end after we die, the robin we saw the day before we were told mum had two weeks left was evidence of that. Things have happened to me over the years that have made me believe in the after life mostly with animals, I think I have a real connection with them and they guide me. Iām not convinced by mediums and tarot readers and there are too many opportunities for people to take advantage of the vulnerable so be careful there. I did read an interesting scientific article about near death experiences and how the electrical activity in the brain seems to go off the scale after death. That gave me a bit of peace as I believed that is our soul leaving the body, sounds daft I know. I also read that a patient had electrodes on their head before they died and just before they passed the areas of the brain that deal with thought and emotions were more active. This is how they believe that when people are actively dying they are processing things in their life, putting their affairs in order and are prepared for the end. I think this is what my mum did and why she passed earlier than they thought. She had sorted everything out in her head and was ready to go. That has been the only thing that has given me some comfort in losing her, she was ready and wanted to go before the cancer took her. She always wanted to beat the cancer and in the end she did.
I remember the first time I drive after passing my test, I was driving to work and when I left the house mum said I was to phone her as soon as I got to work to let her know Iād got there ok. I phoned her and burst into to tears because it was such a relief to get there! Iād hit some traffic lights and didnāt know at first what to do so had panicked. I had a B reg Nissan Sunny which was a heap of junk and kept breaking down usually at 11pm on my way home from work. Iād have to phone dad to come and help me, he arrive and the car would start up no problem after losing power!
Im glad the drugs are working but sorry about the fractures. Might be good to keep the scooter until you are able to recover more.
Thay was a really nice comment by the funeral people. Just a kind word can be so helpful.x
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Im doing ok thanks. A few more anxieties about my son and my daughter but ploughing on. Working from home today x
Yes itās interesting reading about the brain and what happens. There is definitely a lot of activity in certain areas. My mum had been fairly comatose on the last day but she opened her eyes and looked at us completely clearly an hour or so before she died, so we told her we loved her and that we were there. She couldnāt speak or have an expression so I do wonder what she was thinking. I desperately hope she wasnāt scared. She was always thanking us so it might have been that. I hope she got comfort from us being there . Itās an undescribable thing really, yet we all have to do it.
Want to talk about your anxieties? Your mum will have known you were there and I am sure that she will have been telling you that she loved you and that she would be ok. Towards the end my mum would look directly at us but not in the eyes like she couldnāt see, she talked to as she knew we were there. So donāt ever worry that your mum didnāt see you, she did x
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This time itās about my daughter! She hss a Korean boyfriend and has gone back over there to meet his parents. He lives largely in Europe though now! Complicated. He seems really nice though. Parents are being very unkind and are NOT happy heās seeing her. Apparently the mum told the aunt he was getting married! Itās not the case but I feel so sorry for her. Sheās supposed to be going round for a meal but is really disappointed and anxious as they obviously disapprove and donāt want her. Makes me quite angry too as we have been welcoming to her boyfriend. I know itās a cultural thing but still upsetting.
Oh no, what an awful situation for you all to be in. Your daughter must be feeling so awkward being somewhere where she is not wanted, I bet she just wants to come back home. I can imagine that not only are you upset but pretty angry that people can treat your daughter that way. You can only hope that your daughterās boyfriend is willing and strong enough to push back and fight to be with her. If he doesnāt then he is not worthy of her and she deserves so much better. Life has a way of sorting things out and if they are meant to be together then they will and if the relationship ends then he was just another frog! Iād like to say there is a prince out there for her but with my experiences of men my words could be false advertising!
Absolutely, it helped me at that time.
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Hopefully he will support her, I think so. Sunny day here today. Doesnt match my mood.
Itās sunny here too. Iām mustering up the energy to phone mumās bank. Iāve had no communication from them since we lost mum, I phoned them this time last month and they said they would send me a letter out, four weeks later I am still waiting. Tell me why your mood isnāt sunny today, are you still upset about your daughter or is it to do with your mum? Sending you a hug x
Sorry I didnāt put much here yesterday, had a busy day but didnāt get much done. I would like to think thereās something better that awaits us when we are finished here. I seem to be a scratch magnet and it seems to acquire them in parking incidents.
@ the hospital at the moment for a nurse appointment. More questions to ask and more information to process. I spent stupid money on my 1st car as Iām only licensed to drive automatics. Which puts the cost of the vehicle up. Last time I was at the hospital I was told that in the last 3 years my body had gone wonky and started producing Myeloma cells. I going to bring that up today, Like majority of people in this country I had my COVID jabs and was talking to a friend yesterday. He told me a neighbour had to have a cancer check. I just got finished with the nurse and she was going through what to expect from the stem cell transplant. Iām blown away again with information and just dazed with what I need to prepare myself, itās going to get tougher. So far itās been a walk in the park.
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Hope you get the answers today that you are looking for; it is such a minefield and they have a tendency to be very vague so make sure you leave understanding everything. There isnāt always an explanation as to what causes cells to go wonky. It is pretty amazing that the treatment you are getting is responding, that is amazing news and something positive to focus on.
Iāve just got through to mumās bank, they spelt my email address wrong so that is why I didnāt get the form, idiots
Today pretty much was preparing me mentally for the stem cell transplant and what to expect. Thatās going to be the tough part of the journey for me. I will then know I have cancer and experience the symptoms that people associate with cancer. Loss of hair, appetite, feeling sick etc. So far Iāve had it easy.
Come home to a council demanding 1300 in council tax. Iām not even working, Ā£222 a month. I contacted them regards it, that seems high for a single person ? Iām still waiting on pip. At this rate mumās money wonāt last me long. Itās a bit depressing coming home to that after dealing with Myeloma.
Sorry to hear this, @Keith68 - last thing you need to come home to. I just wanted to share Macmillanās guide on bills and housing costs with you:
If you live alone, you should be entitled to a 25% reduction in your council tax bill.
Macmillan also have some information about other costs that may be cheaper due to your diagnosis. For example, you should be able to get free prescriptions.
Sorry to interrupt the conversation but I wanted to share these links with you in case they were helpful.
Take care,
Seaneen
The treatment will be rough but there are anti sickness drugs they can give you to help with the nausea. Mum found eating marshmallows helped when she felt sick and eating little and often throughout the day.
I really miss my mum tonight, I needed her to talk to today about something and it really hit me that she wasnāt there. I also had trouble printing the form her bank sent me, it was an encrypted file that just kept coming up blank when I print previewed it. I fixed it in the end but itās left me feeling anxious all day which isnāt like me.
When mum was in hospital she ordered a new tv stand when she thought she would be home for a couple of weeks. My sister and I made it up today and itās looks nice but it feels sad that mum didnāt get to see it. There was so much she wanted to do when we thought she would be home for a while but she went back in again a few days later. After 3 months it feels the bad days are getting worse and the ok days are just meh.
I hope everyone is doing as ok as we can be.
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