@Wanderers100 yes I do work in retail! A supermarket to be exact. It was bad enough when mum went into hospital to try a new treatment, I was worrying about mum and getting snotty emails from my manager about work that hadn’t been done. I really need to find another job out of retail! I can understand why working is hard for you both, I really don’t want to go back to all the people wanting to know why we’ve been off. I might lose my rag!
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Glad to hear your break is going well! Discovering new things can be a good distraction. Though we can never really escape the loss, of course. 
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We had a nice time thanks @Ulma it did me good. Couldn’t stop wishing I could be driving my mum around the lovely views and was sad when we came back as she would usually ask us if we wanted a cup of tea. Little things make you realise the person you love is no longer there. But I am very lucky to have had such a nice break away. Hope you get on ok @Malcolm2 when you go back to work. Will you have both Thursday and Friday off?
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Hi, I don’t work Thursday, Friday and Saturday thankfully. As it’s mum’s funeral on Friday my days off will be hard. I dreamt about mum the night before last, she was telling me that she was sorry she couldn’t have held on any longer but she’d had enough. I said to her in the dream that it was ok as we couldn’t face seeing her struggle anymore. Grief is so hard. I can fully understand how hard it is for you now not being able to do things with your mum and having her welcome you with a cup of tea when you get back. Do you have a garden that you can make a special place for your mum?
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We do have a garden, so maybe we should make a little place there. It’s a good idea. Maybe get a garden bench as our old one is falling to pieces! Thanks for the idea.
Glad you don’t have to go out to work at the end of the week. It would be too much with the funeral. Are you planning a special place or memorial for your mum? She will be everywhere you go anyway, I know. Your head will be full of things to do right now anyway.
It’s sunny here now, so I’m just enjoying that. 12 weeks today since we lost my mum. I must stop counting the weeks really, but it keeps coming back into my mind all the time. I’m sorry she missed the spring weather which she always loved. There has been plenty of rain, but lots of sunshine too.
My mum and dad loved gardeni
Pressed send by accident, sorry! My mum loved her garden and was so upset at how overgrown it got while she was in hospital getting the trial treatment. So, my memorial will be getting the garden back to how she liked it. We did get a new bird bath for her as she loved the birds. It has been raining really heavy here for the last few days, that means what little weeding we got done will be back again! I don’t see that there is anything wrong with counting the weeks, it’s keeping your mum in your thoughts. It will be marking each milestone. It’s hard today as it’s Fathers Day, we got dad a rose in his memory last year, it came into flower today. Mum bought one before she went into hospital and it is nearly in flower too. Let me know what you do in your garden, I do like the new bench idea.
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Thank you, will do. It’s good to have something nice to plan. We’ve finally ordered the framed photos we wanted tonight, so I’m looking forward to those arriving. Hope your day goes well tomorrow.
I’d love to see your photos, maybe in time to come we might feel like sharing pictures of our mum’s. My sister and I have just got back from work. It was a lot harder than we thought. There were really nice people that wanted to let us know they cared. It was just a constant reminder though.
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Sorry your day has been really hard. I think generally people are kind but don’t quite know what to say. I will try to share photos of the framed pics when they arrive. Not sure how well it works on here, I tried to share a photo of one of the gardens we visited but it just added the file name so I wasn’t sure that it was working properly.
Our manager was really supportive which helped . I tried to be the brave big sister but slipped up a couple of times. It made me realise that I am not emotionally ready to start a new job. My current job isn’t always that great but I’m with my sister so, we can support each other. Hope you and everyone else is doing ok? I’ll try and post a picture of the three of us
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Hi, glad you are able to be there for each other. It sounds like you have a really good bond. I’m back working today again and feel a bit down again, realising that mum still isn’t here. I’m grateful for the time I’ve had off though. Hope you can post a picture; it would be nice to see you all together.
Going to work is really hard so, I can understand why you are feeling down. Have you thought about counselling? I was told yesterday I can get 10 sessions through work, it might be worth seeing if your employer offers something similar. I tried to post a picture but it just comes up with a load of text
My employer signs up to a provider but I think it’s a bit hit and miss whether you actually get counselling or not. Work is just hundreds of emails to reply to so far! My husband had to go into work so there’s just me in the house which always feels very strange without my mum. One of the framed photos we’d ordered arrived today. It looks lovely but also made me feel sad. It will be nice to put it up though.
I don’t think we’ll ever get used to how empty our homes are now. We got so used to being there for our mum’s that we are having to find a whole different way of living. It will be lovely to be able to look at your mum everyday, I keep looking at our photo on the mantel piece
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Picture is up now in a prominent place. It feels right to have her picture there, just a bit sad that I remember when I took the photo and wish I could still take her out. Hope your day has been ok and you’re not feeling too down. A difficult week for you I know.
It is most definitely right to have your mum’s photo out. It will remind you of a time when she was happy. There has been a lot of really kind people at work but, also some awful people. We have been ignored by a few people who have even given us funny looks. One person let it be known us being off was an inconvenience to her. So, I don’t think people understand us wanting to spend the last weeks with mum. People are strange
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I’m sorry not everyone has been kind at work. I’ve been lucky and people have been very nice. One of my team came and just put down a coffee and pastry for me without saying anything, which I thought was really kind. I do think people soon expect you to get over it but I guess people have their own lives to worry about. I’d be upset if people hadn’t understood the need to be with my mum though. That’s awful that anyone would make you feel bad about it.
I do like having the picture up. It still feels a bit strange but it’s nice to have.
The lovely people do outweigh the not nice people but, the nasty ones cut to the bone. I guess we will be old news next week and they will move on. Giving you a coffee and danish was such a thoughtful thing to do, no words needed. It won’t always be weird having your mum’s photo out. I said to my sister earlier that I will be glad to see the back of this year. A member of staff passed away a few days after mum so, it’s been a rough year. I’m hoping the next 6 months are better. I hope everyone is doing ok today
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Yes, hope everyone is ok @Malcolm2 @Wanderers100 @Ulma and everyone on here. It’s been nice and sunny here so will just go for a quick walk after our meal. It has been a very difficult year so far and there will be birthdays coming up that will be upsetting. Hopefully there will be nice times too. I see my mum smiling out from her photos which is lovely. Sometimes I don’t quite feel real myself without my mum.
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