Wishing you all the very best for tomorrow @Malcolm2 . Will be thinking of you.
Thank you so much, your message means a lot. We are hoping to see lots of different birds at Loch Leven, mum would have like that. Sending everyone a hug. Danielle x
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Itās kind of you to include me in your thoughts. 
Iāve been quiet because Iām in a dark hole right now, not coping too well, and when that happens it feels like I donāt know what to say apart from āitās badā, which isnāt very helpful. 
Hugs to everyone. 
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Hi Ulma I have been wondering if you are ok too.
Sending strength there is light it will come you are a wonderful person and so kind helping others on here.
X
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@Ulma you donāt need to use very many words, just saying that it is bad is enough for us to understand. Donāt suffer alone, we are always here to talk even if you just want to talk about anything to keep your mind off things.
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So sorry @Ulma. Sometimes itās impossible to do anything other than feel bad and I do hope it gets better for you. Sending all good wishes.
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Keep an eye out for the robins x
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I saw a robin in my garden today sat between my mum and dads roses 
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Thank you all and thank you for the lovely words, Olive.
We havenāt had the actual burial of the urn until this week, you see, and the days leading up to it and now the days afterwards have broken me all over again. 
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@Ulma Iām so sorry you are going through that. The gap between losing someone and putting them to rest is so hard. It feels weird too, if itās a while you can feel like youāre coming to terms with things then the funeral comes and itās back to square one. We are here for each other so we arenāt walking this path alone.
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@Magsclar it was a sad day knowing what was happening but it turned out to be a lovely day too. Mum loved it when the geese flew over our house in the Autumn and winter. We went today not expecting geese to be there but, there were dozens. A member of staff said that they had decided to stay on the loch this year instead of migrating to Iceland. I know it sounds daft but it was like they knew we needed them.
I am sorry to see that you are very down today. Are you having one of many off days or has something brought it on?
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Thanks for your kindness @Malcolm2 . Iām so glad the geese were there for you. Not sure why so down today, a combination of missing mum and also worry about my son. I canāt really see a way for things to improve, and know mumās not coming back. Iām pleased that the day was good for you, although sad. Was wondering how you were getting on.
Its been more than 8 weeks since you lost your mum, have you had counselling? If not I really think itās time that you do. It helped after I lost my dad, I felt I was in a really dark place. Why are your worried about tour son, want to talk about whatās wrong?
Hi yes, it would be good to talk and to have counselling. My son already has counselling though and I feel all my focus is on him. I donāt really know where to start with it all and there always seems so much to do. It all feels too hard to face.
@Magsclar ok, how about you write a list of all the things that are troubling you. Tell us the first thing and we can see if we can help or you can at least talk about it then move on to the next. I hope your son is ok but, you need to take care of your physical and mental health too. Otherwise you wonāt be able to be there for him when he needs you
Hugs. Itās such a rollercoaster, but very few highs.
Counselling can be helpful. Just getting the thoughts out of your head and getting someone elseās perspective can be enough to get you out of being stuck sometimes. It must be difficult when you need to be strong for your son too, so having a space where you can just talk about your own feelings is a good thing.
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Thanks Malcolm. Just checking in. Been a bad week mental health wise. Thanks for your comments about your work! Iāve worked in retail since 2002. First for Tesco then Waitrose. If I get back into work then it would have to be retail as thatās all I know now. Our road has an annual meet up on the green in our road. This is tomorrow afternoon and Iām dreading it. Itās a lot of chit chat. I went last year and I ought to show my face otherwise I sort of feel guilty for not going. So a bit of a catch 22 situation. Apologies for not posting much but I get all the notifications for this site. Love to everyone!
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@Wanderers100 you donāt need to apologise. Weāre here when you need us. I started working for Safeway in 1998 which became Morrisons, then Somerfield. We moved up to Scotland and it was back to Morrisons for the last 20 years! Have you thought about going to college to learn something new? Thats what I did last year and I got a HND in Legal Services. I know that meeting up with your neighbours will be hard but mixing with people could be good for you, even if you just go for a little while
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I feel a lot of anxiety nearly all of the time, but mostly focused around other people. My son has autism and although he works in finance, he really struggles with a lot of day to day activities and planning, as well as socialising. I feel so guilty he cannot live as full a life as easily as other people and see his struggles so much. We have tried a lot of things to help him. I also used to get very anxious about my mum as she got older, always aware we would lose her one day. I lnow itās always easy to assume everyone else has a straightforward life and thatās not true, but I do tend to ruminate a lot on the same problems. Sorry for going on. I know everyone here is finding life difficult right now x
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