For your son to work in finance he is incredibly intelligent like everyone who is on the spectrum. He will have worked so hard to get where he is today and will have had to climb many hurdles. I have no doubt that he is a wonderful person and very lucky to have his family looking out for him. The issues your son has with socialisation is not his fault but the people around him. Autism is still very much misunderstood which I find sad and it makes me angry too. What has your son’s employer done to support him? There are some employers that seek to employee individuals with autism as they are able to see what a special gift they have, being able to look at situations from a different perspective and come up with unique solutions. If your son worked with me I would take him under my wing and be his work mum. Ruminating on things has become a pastime of mine these last few months. It’s not nice and not easy to shake. We will get through it all together. In my case one chocolate bar at a time 
He is a kind lad who has struggled with many things. His work know about his issues with chronic fatigue but not about the autism, although I’m guessing they’ve realised that. His friends are all online, although he has actually met a couple of them which is good. Yesterday he did come for a walk with my husband and I which was great as it was a beautiful day and he normally never goes out, apart from to work. It’s just a constant anxiety really. And on the days when I miss my mum the most it all seems too much. I know so many people have so much to bear though. And yes to the chocolate bars!
I hope your son’s employer offers him support, most employers nowadays recognise neurodiversity and have policies in place. The walk sounded good and like he is making small steps. I really think you should get some support for yourself too x
Thank you, I think you’re right. I just need to find some time to do that. Sometimes I think we’re doing well, other times back to square one.
Are you back at work again this week?
I know it’s sounds a little hard but I think you need to be a bit selfish. Make an appointment for counselling and tell everyone you will not be available at that time. Even take yourself out to a coffee shop for an hour or so. Everyone will still be there when you get back. If you carry on the way you are you will make yourself ill. And there no amount of chocolate that will help with that!
I’ve just got home from work, back at 5am tomorrow. I think I might need to look for a sugar daddy so I can be a kept woman!
I also find that walking helps when I feel worst. It always has done, either a quick walk round the local roads or a longer walk out in the countryside when it’s possible. We did a 6 mile walk yesterday with a walking group we sometimes go out with. It’s longer than we normally go so I was tired afterwards, but it was lovely. So I do find time for myself sometimes and that’s beneficial, you’re right. Not much time in the week when I’m at work.
I hope everyone has a better week ahead. Hope you are feeling less down @Ulma . And maybe that sugar daddy will come along @Malcolm2 ! The 5 am starts sound very hard, and it would be great if you do eventually feel up to applying for jobs in the legal services field. I bet supermarkets are quite tough to work in, in terms of considering employees’ needs.
I am glad you have found something that helps you to relax. Life has a habit of throwing more than one thing at us at once. I hope your son finds his way in life. It’s good that he has met friend online as they will have the same interests. In order to find that sugar daddy I need to get out myself which I’m feeling odd about. I spent all my time with my parents so, it is totally new ground find a new way of living. The 5am starts are hard, I’m getting too old! My sister and I came into work today to find a particular member of staff is still giving us the cold shoulder, retail is full of petty people. I hope everyone is doing ok, if not, we’re here x
I’m sorry you’ve received this unkindness from your colleague. I don’t know what makes some people like that. I was feeling a bit down today as I had to go to the dentist’s and it just reminded me of all the times I had taken her and the last time I was there. All these little things.
It is difficult to find the motivation and resolve to go out I know, I’ve always found it hard to go places by myself but have gradually got used to it as I’m an only one. I didn’t really know anyone when I moved to this area many years ago. I really hope you can meet someone kind; to me that’s all -important, and what you deserve.
We all seem to have been carers for our parents, we’ve lived with them and played a major part in their day to day lives. It is incredibly hard to go from being so close to nothingness. For me even work is a reminder of both of my parents. My dad would come in shopping and he would me to squeeze my hand, after he passed I would take mum in every Thursday. There are reminders everywhere. If I’m honest i’m finding it hard to adjust to life without them. We were a close family, even up until mum went into hospital she was making us food and looking after us as best she could. I’m scared I will never feel that care again. I have never had any luck making friends, they drift off after a while. My sister has always been my best friend but she has a life too. I hope you feel a little better tonight, grief has a habit of creeping up when we don’t expect it. We should have shares in Cadbury…….
I know, I feel like no-one knows you and cares quite like a mum. I’m trying to keep in mind that she is always with me in her love and care, the words and sayings that come to mind (we’re keeping a list of those!) and in the memories and photos we have. So many people don’t have that kind of love, so we’ve been lucky. Happy to keep in touch with someone who appreciates a good chocolate bar! In an act of defiance I had a dairy milk bar this afternoon, despite my earlier trip to the dentist!
I know, we are incredibly lucky. Someone said to me the other day that we are made up of our parents too. Think I have my mums dodgy joints so, thanks for that mum! I have a neighbour who makes fancy chocolates as a hobby, he has a glut meaning his wife has to bring over a box every Saturday. This has been going on for about a year, I see it as me being supportive of his hobby…. I’m glad you are a dairy milk bar, stuff the dentist! Let us know some of your mums sayings!
Another chocolate lover here. 
I can relate to so much you write, how everything everywhere is a reminder, the close family and the bad luck with friends. I guess it all makes it more difficult now. 
Welcome to the chocolate lovers club!
People are very difficult these days, I feel they are selfish. People don’t seem to understand the concept of close families. But, we have each other and I spend my spare time talking to my cat and tortoise!
Ah a cat lover too! We have a cat. And my knees are bad too, though not from my mum or dad I don’t think. On the subject of things my mum said, if there were a lot of clouds but a bit of sky she’d say there’s enough blue to make a cat a pair of trousers!
Can’t believe you have a neighbour who makes nice chocolates, that’s great! Wish mine did, although they’re nice enough.
Hope everyone is not too down. Sending best wishes x
My cat is my absolute rock, he is so cuddly when I feel down. He’s also a moody little so and so and I either get a nip or a slap when I give him half a stoke too much! I like your mum’s saying, don’t think Loki would be pleased if I put him in trousers. He did like the spider outfit I put him in one Halloween though! The flavours of chocolate my neighbour makes are amazing, last Saturday was whisky with peanut. My sister and I made light work of them. They have two French bulldogs who take it in turns to bring the chocolates, the puppy one loves coming to see my sister and I. Work wasn’t great today which is making me feel down tonight and miss mum even more. Over the last couple of days there have been more and more people not speaking to us. They kind of spoke last week but have given us the cold shoulder today. I just don’t know why they are doing it. This is the sort of thing I’d talk to mum about and she would give me advice. I’m really upset but incredibly angry too. They all seem to be people that are friendly with the woman we’ve had trouble with since last Monday when we went back. People are so cruel when others are at their lowest. I hope that everyone else is doing ok. If not get the chocolate out x
Take it 1 day at a time everyday is different. I lost dad nearly 4 years ago and find it tougher now and would say my mental health this year worst been in a long time its so tough
I am in the same position. I have close family but in another country. I always meant to marry, career got in the way. I am very sorry. I know how you feel. For myself, I am online dating. I am determined to find someone, having put away, finally, a long-time relationship that was off-on. So I set this goal for myself: marriage. I am exercising and lost 20 kilo from the caregiving, grief, loss. All I can say.
I know you said you were going try online dating in another thread. How is it going? It seems such a hassle and emotionally draining, but it’s difficult to meet people otherwise these days.
I have put lot weight on cant be bothered trying to lose it mentally drained and dont have much motivation at moment as mind been a mess and constantly battle with my mind also feel less patience