Still Struggling

That’s the best thing to do try keep busy as possible, even going to shops is better than sitting in, sounds like your doing just that too. When you’ve lost a lot you embrace the little things in life, you see things very differently too

You can only do so much every day but it can feel like a fight just to live. I have to separate life from the hospital and wrestle somehow a life for me.

2 Likes

Sue Ryder offer 6 online counselling sessions Keith where you can focus on grief counselling. Your dr can also refer you to local services if you think you’d prefer face to face grief counselling.

95 is great, my dad was 65 when he died. But yes there’s no good age when it’s someone you love. Seems an awful & unprofessional comment for a counsellor of any form to make.

Keith you need to make an effort to make new friends in the real world so that you have people in your life to support & who will in turn support you. It takes time to make good friends so you have to start to sew the seeds now to reap the benefit in future.

3 Likes

My doctor gave me Cruise phone number and referred me to a physio when I had pain in my back. I had to fight, learn from others and keep banging on the door of the NHS to get the help I needed as I was being fobbed off by my doctor. I know about Cruise, but I’m juggling grief and my health weekly. Today up early as I have a hospital appointment at 9.30.

I hope it goes well Keith.

Hopefully normal procedure as expected. Might pop into Maggie’s later depending on how long I’m waiting in the clinic for and how long it takes to be treated.

1 Like

Hope all goes well, maggies is a good idea too :+1:

1 Like

Hi Wethery52.
Yes grief is horrible. I keep thinking i am doing well then all of a sudden i see something that brings back memories of my Mum or Dad, or friends i lost too & it hits hard & i am back at square one. I am REALLY struggling this week as its my beautiful Mums birthday on Sunday & i just want her back here with me xx
Take care , stay warm & safe & big hugs xx

I popped into Maggie’s for the creative writing class. Kind of interesting! Welfare advisor tried to ring up DWP for me regards ESA. After second attempt she got cut off. Anything regards the DWP or even hearing their automated phone line on loud speaker I find depressing. I was told I should of heard from them by now from two people at Maggies. But I haven’t and ESA claim was begining of December. I saw 2 Robins in the hospital grounds today, sweet little birds. I know what they say a loved one is near by when you see a Robin Red Breast.

1 Like

I know what you mean mines up and down and with losing them so close together too, like you it’s my brothers first anniversary on Sunday, do you do anything to remember your mam ? How old would she have been ? Your mams just the hardest loss isn’t it, I just try to be strong for her now she’d hate me being sad. Take care too x

1 Like

You should always try something once if it’s not for you no harm done, I’m sure these dwp lines keep you on hold in the hope you hang up, by the time you get through you’ve forgot what you rang for !
First thing in morning is the best time around 9 ish, hopefully not too long till sorted
I put some cooked pasta out a little robin was pecking away at it, feel sorry for the birds when it’s cold

1 Like

It’s really cold here, the bin lid is frozen, can’t even open it. I pop back into Maggie’s on Monday, I have a appointment with my doctor anyway. Hopefully fingers crossed we achieve more success. The DWP sure like dragging their feet when it comes to benefits. Had to do Pip twice before I was awarded it. I couldn’t do morning as I was in clinic receiving treatment. I got put on a small drip, bone strengthning drug. Come to think of it I think I be dead if it wasn’t for the hospital. The damage was to the back and that was my main concern. Robins are such sweet little birds same as yellow tits. They need energy this time of the year as the cold will sap it all away

Same here up north ! Yes fingers crossed for you you’ll get there in the end, we complain about the nhs but by god they have their work cut out totally underfunded up north, it always seems to be the south that thrive with health care. The nurses want huge medals the stress they must have, we’d be lost without them.
I like the crows and magpies too very smart birds some actually more intelligent than some people I know !

1 Like

Seems to be a shortage of beds full stop with the flu epicidemic. The NHS will always have a fight on their hands with cancer, that won’t change. It does get busy in the clinic daily as you would imagine. The NHS gets let down by the government!

1 Like

Crows are suppose to be smart maybe even ravens too. Not keen on Magpies you see them everywhere these days and do make a fair bit of noise. Crows are huge birds, highly intelligent as you say and good at problem solving

1 Like

I think I get something out of wildlife at the moment. Animals tend to be innocent except cats have that hunter instinct in them. Never really been a cat person. I’m not sure if it’s just me or not but I do feel vulnerable more at the moment. I associate with that innocence of wildlife, seeing the Robins yesterday was a highlight, I was hoping they be Robins, there’s that saying “you see a Robin, a loved one is nearby” . There’s so many things out there that can hurt you these days Cops, Councils, governments.

I didn’t visit mum for 10 days and 48 hours before she passed the hospital rung the other phone which I didn’t use. But if mum was still alive then mum would have been in a home now, which she wouldn’t have liked Mum passed on her mum’s birthday, sister thought this was a strange coincidence.

I belong to a spiritual group on FB, and I believe mum is with her mum. I been told when we pass over to the other side we are cared for by our deceased family members, I hope so. No one can hurt you when you are dead.

Was at the hospital 9.30 till 3pm so was glad to get away by that time. I did do a creative writing class at Maggie’s yesterday.

It felt like overkill by nearly 3 so i was happy to leave and get away. I’m back there in Monday, and it can be a bit too much. You need a happy medium to anyone’s life. Hopefully I can resolve ESA at Maggie’s after I’ve seen my doctor.

I went to a spiritualist church good few years ago with my mam, she was a believer too like me, when we left the medium stopped me and said I’d had an aura around me all night which were my grandma and grandad. I certainly believe I’m surrounded by my parents maybe not so much my brother he had kids and a wife so I tend to think he’s looking after them
We prob get signs every day just never take much notice of them.
When you do die there’s someone waiting for you like a guide, read the map of heaven it’s an amazing book.
If you believe in ghosts then you have to believe in the afterlife imho.

I stayed in a haunted room a long time ago and used to watch most haunted. But things are very different for me now. I done a few spiritual things via video on messenger. I got sent love and uplifting from my grandma and then the medium said now mum wants to come through. That night was the icing on the cake that confirmed what I always thought that my mum is with her mum. They was quite close when Grandma was alive and like I said mum passed on grandma’s birthday. That’s more then a coincidence! Mum will probably be more happier then me!

1 Like

I find out yesterday there’s a man’s group at Maggie’s that meet up Fridays mornings. I got chatting to a guy who had lost his partner to cancer. So I was telling him about my diagnosis, it does help to meet and chat to others who’s life’s have been affected through cancer. We really have the power to understand and help each other with grief and so much more. There’s strength in numbers!

1 Like

Sounds like that would be good for you, having the support around you from others in the same boat will certainly help you, birds of a feather kind of thing.
Same reason why everyone comes on here we all have something in common

1 Like