I’m brutally honest! mums in a better place she with grandma her mum. There is something more then earth and life.
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I seen stuff on Tik Tok which is better then FB by a country mile. If we get a life review then yes I wasted my life. But I wouldn’t change anything with mum. Some things are meant to be and I think I was a gift for mum to give her life purpose. My sister has never been close which she blames mum and there’s some jealousy there too. I had to work with her on mum’s funeral, she helped with the headstone. But I made sure mum was buried even though it was a fresh plot. I continue to write my mum’s second sister in Oz. Mum used write her sister regular and looked forward to her sisters letters. I continued that for 1 support and 2 if mum looking down on me she would approve. I tried to do my best, but it’s just not that. The world I grew up in and belonged too has died and that isolated me even more. It’s so hard to resonate to anything any more at least I can still listen to the music I grew up with.
It’s nice to carry on doing things though that they would have wanted you to do. I’ve learnt over the years there’s nothing as queer as families, you can choose your friends
Life’s been tough for me and Malcolm too. I did all the arrangements for mum. Carried on working too, that was a distraction. Mum was super secretive about her savings, it was a taboo subject along with funeral arrangements. I know mum had problems with her daughter with that as sister told me mum wanted to be buried with her mum, but there wasn’t any room. So I sorted a new plot for mum. Because mums savings were high it had to go to a solicitor, probate. Then the DWP started sniffing around to see if they was owed anything. This took a whole year, I had to carry on working to keep a roof over my head. I did owe money as I’m a renter, but just to council now - Council Tax. I didn’t know I was working with Myeloma as seeing a doctor is virtually impossible these days. The day mum’s money cleared was the day I was diagnosed with Myeloma Cancer and was told it would shorten my life. But obviously I didn’t ask at the time.
That on war with the council still lingers on as they refuted my argument against the fine. The pathetic little even sent pics and ? they only see what they see the blind fools. I give it a week before doing anything see what happens maybe longer as I have 28 days from today.
That doesn’t shock me with them, i can imagine it being v hard to win when they’ve made a decision, only ones who could poss overturn that is court, I’d be going the whole hog if it was me. I get that side from dad ! Can be useful and not so useful
I read the document just now, they were kind to send me more photos.
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this private rented area is split into different sections the area the Council fined me I was not parked in.
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They say they have an agreement with the owners of the land ie the housing association. But they stop short if saying if that is a legal agreement or not ?
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I did put a permit in on the 21st December last year, didn’t hear a thing. I have a screenshot of that. I since done another still pending. Scammed by the council sounds about right, what’s to stop them chasing the other fines ? I can appeal and will but I’m not going to rush it. I will take photos of the area to prove the accusation is false. I still want to see a legal document proving they have the right to find people on private land. No penalty would be paid until I received a permit. Any money paid by myself would be £35 and not £70 as they did not explain. I did send prove of my cancer but they ignored this and sent evidence that I’ve broke the law.
Any money paid should be paid to the housing association as the land isn’t owned by the council. They not explained or sent prove that they have legality to even operate under a legal contract to the housing. As they not sent prove of this I will not be paying and will stretch this on for the rest of the year if I have too. Appeal would go to a adjudicator and it does involve legal now.
We all know it’s just a cash grab, but the council needs to do a lot more if it wants money from me.
Moved a bit of stuff out the living room today, it’s looking better and the sofas look better to what I had. Mum slept on the sofa, she never slept in her room as mum thought it was cold. Mum could be stubborn and even though she had a hospital bed they thought that would do the job. I knew it wouldn’t, I’m 56 and up till August 23 had lived with mum. If I don’t know her in all that time, then no one does.
How are you today ? I posted a new thread earlier kind of offering help and support as I seen post at the beginning of loss and wanted to offer them some kind words they not alone. I know how important things like this can be in helping someone in their time of loss. Besides when I went to a light a candle for mum I was alone and never done it before. I wanted to do it but felt alone and vulnerable and the funeral people told me I wasn’t alone they was with me. I never forgot that and those words meant the earth to me that night. So I wanted to say no you not alone we are here with you.
I think I will have to go into detail for November, December Hickman line, Stem Cell Collection and the SCT meeting where I was informed to risk of life.
I now know but have known for some time that money takes priority over life in the UK.
It sounds like you need some professional legal advice, I’m not sure if anyone on here can help, not my forte stuff like this I’d dig my heels in a stuff them off prob not best advice.
I’m not too bad thank you, had a good counselling session today it’s really helping me a lot with a range of things I wish it was just straight forward grief but it goes a bit deeper than that
But hopefully I’ll get there in the end which I will I just need a bit support going forward.
It’s lovely to hear how close you were to mam it sounds like you had a really nice relationship, it’s a hard job being a parent we don’t always get it right
I contacted my housing to see what my rent covers and what agreement is in place with the council. Yes mum and me was close, how much is your counseling sessions ? I think we will always grief for our parents after all it’s a big loss. I did talk to mum a lot and I struggled to have that same connection since. I will see what response I get from the housing association I’m now thinking I need to gather evidence regarding this matter. Council in a desperate situation, they are re introducing scooters which people don’t want but the Council are delighted. Must be rubbing their hands together at the prospect of income it will generate. I did get a little counseling at the beginning but I’ve always been worried about getting upset even when I do the spiritual videos on messenger. You know what it’s like the tears flow freely.
They are free the sessions thankfully, it’s difficult when you lose your all and it seems mam was that to you. Prob makes your grief harder
It’s amazing what you actually can talk about if you cry you cry. Better not to keep stuff like that bottled.
Hope you manage to get them fines quashed it seems a really silly rule
I know we only had each other! I can sympathise with one parent family’s. There was a lot more help back then. It’s non existat now. I still find it hard to believe there’s not therapy groups for bereavement. David vs Goliath regards the council, I just come back from the Tesco’s, it’s cold out tonight. The state of some of the paths in my city is shocking. Councils just take the p and now the government too. Like I said it all adds to how you feeling. I bet I’m not the only one on here having a tough time with the council. But if I’m truly honest the Council has been the worse to deal with, if I can find a way to prosecute them I will. Let’s be honest Councils don’t care about anything but power and money.
Tik Tok tells the truth, but the truth will annoy you and it’s not censored.