@larraine and everyone on thread. I too hate weekend. And especially with bank holiday. It feels never ending. The brief respite of the comfort of some usual tv viewing is also ruined with bank holiday rubbish. I’m so glad we have each other as this journeys so difficult xxx
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Couldn’t agree more! I think it’s feeling everyone else is with someone, plus the fact that my usual escapist tele programmes are not on, but replaced with weekend rubbish and endless sport! I find a brisk walk helps and a phone chat with someone sympathetic and kind. We have to just keep going until time changes and maybe moves us on. Xx
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Laraine, my lovely. You are not alone. We are all here for you, we are all here for one another. Its so hard isnt it. I have no children, no family, a very small circle of friends who havent experienced the grief of losing their soul mate and so ive realised that i owe it to my beautiful Mick who absolutely loved life, to do the same, to start loving life again. Isn’t that what we would want for them had they passed before us? One step, one day at a time. It doesn’t get easier, we cant bring them back. But we can learn to appreciate how lucky we were to have found love and remember the good times we shared. Some people never find that in a lifetime. Like you, my heart is shattered, absolutely broken. Life will never be the same. But it doesnt mean life wont be good again. Just in a different way. I’ll take the unbearable grief of losing my Mick over not having been privilaged to love him. Hang in there lovely. There will be brighter days ahead when you are ready to embrace them. Take your time. You are doing great xxx
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That is so beautiful. I had a horrific dream of my husband, just horrendous. Ibwoke up in tears and wondered what the hell was going on. Then I felt calm because I realised this terrible dream of him in the last few minutes before he passed, was a reminder that he is pain free and at peace now, which bought comfort. Im so happy for you that your partner visited you and you got to hold hands with him again. So beautiful xxx
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I’m not doing well at all. I am trying but it’s so hard. 
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Take it one day at a time
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Listen please don’t be too hard on yourself. There will be sad days and better days but there is no timetable to grief and however bad and sad you feel in time it will get easier but it takes time. It’s been two years for me and I still get sad days when I cannot shake the sadness so I just go with it and am sad that day. The next I feel better. You never know how each day is going to be. It’s a sad learning curve we have all experienced. Hang on in there and take each minute, hour, day as it comes.
Warm wishes
Georgina
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Thats what i think to after seven months of grief. We carnt fight feelings ,but go with whatever comes. The main one Im trying to get used to at the present time is the feeling of being by myself now, no matter who Im with and whatever situation/ gathing I happen to be in , this I am finding most difficult to come to terms with
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So difficult and I absolutely understand how you are feeling my lovely. Ive never been alone, suddenly, i dont know who the hell I am because loving and caring for my beautiful Mick made me feel complete as a human being for the first time in my life. I owe it to him, to us, to push forward and embrace life. He would have wanted that. Its not easy. I miss him so much. Cancer tested our marriage. He is at peace now. I need to focus on that because as much as I want him back, I wouldn’t want him back suffering the way he did. DAMN YOU CANCER
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Hi
I feel exactly the same !
But hard to make a new life after years of caring for Scott with cancer.
He was so brave
Deffo very odd feeling!
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I feel the same my lovely. Mick went undiagnosed for 4 year’s. The last 3 years once he was diagnosed was hell. Metastatic prostate cancer and a horrific death in my arms. My beautiful, incredibly brave husband. Im struggling with the way he passed. He was a fighter. When he gave up, I knew id lost him. We have no choice to start a new life my lovely because it will never be the same without them and they wouldnt want us to give up. We owe it to them to move forward in their memory. It will take time. Every day is different. One day anger, tears, the next, feeling positive, but mainly, feeling lost and incomplete. I absolutely relate to how you are feeling. We’ve just got to deal with each moment and emotion as it unexpectedly takes us. This support group is such a blessing, connecting us and helping one another to heal. Sending love and healing into your heart 
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Hello, Sorry for your loss it doesn’t matter how long but those words are still comforting to me . my husband passed 8 months ago, people ask me “ are you ok now? You have to move on with your life”
I am not ok, after work, and close my door, I open after 2 dys then go back to work again. I am really really heart broken. I wish I could find a pain killer. I wish I can console you, but I really understand your pain, I do. All I can say is hang on and stay safe
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Had my first counselling session yesterday and it really helped encouraged me to say exactly how I feel about everything.the lady said there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Said there was no time limit on grief .was told if you need to cry then do so.dont bottle anything up as it will overcome you .also was told dont let people force you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. Also take it one day at a time
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Feeling the same Hazel. My husband died nearly 7 months ago but it seems to become more raw as time passes. I think adrenaline kicks in with the initial shock, followed by the awful reality. Do try to fill your time - friends, little walks, escapist tele, food that gives you comfort - these small things do help, though I spend lots of time behind closed doors on my own also. Time will alter how we feel but never forget. Xx
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Hi karen .finally got my ct scan results and endoscopy results through.ct clear endoscopy clear.have to go back for another colonoscopy in July as something is still there but they are saying its nothing major
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Hi @Martyn2
Thanks for updating me and I’m so pleased it was a good result from the tests so far.
Also good to hear that your counselling session gave such sensible advice.
Karen xxx
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Nel, I’m having a similar problem. In two days’ time it will be two years! Incredible!!! I miss my husband so much. Now that it’s getting darker earlier I’m so ‘alone’ with the thought of him not here in the darkness of night. It is almost eerie! I don’t want to be housebound but I’m getting so frightened of facing the world without him. The first year I was in a ‘daze’ with so much to think about and deal with but now reality has struck and I feel LOST!!!
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I can absolutely relate to this Dorrie. Its been six and a half months since I lost my beautiful husband and now the nights are drawing in, a loneliness like I have never known is taking a hold on me and I seem to be breaking into tears at every trivial little thing. Hot, angry tears. Reality sucks
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Feeling the same Dorrie - have already been through one winter as lost my dear hubby last October. In some ways winter is better in that you can draw the curtains and try to escape with television, etc. However, there’s nothing like sunshine to cheer you a little in summer. Do try to get out each day even if just a short walk, but I know it does feel unbearable. Thinking of you xx
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I completely understand how you feel. I lost my husband 3 years ago and the grief and loneliness is getting worse as reality hits me. Most people just don’t understand. X
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