Im on my own too. No family at all. It was just me and my beautiful Mick and a very close circle of friends who I keep in touch with. It may seem like everyone is coping and dealing with our loss but if we were, we wouldnt be on this amazing group, giving and receiving support. Everyone experiences and copes with grief differently so dont add pressure to yourself by making comparrisons with others. Im a ‘smiley ray of sunshine’ at work on reception during the week but in my lunch hour, evenings and weekends, im a sobbing wreck. If I didnt have to work, i certainly wouldnt be putting on a brave face. I’d allow myself all the time i need to grieve. Not being able to is prolonging it. You are among good people and friends here who truly understand and feel your pain. You are not alone xx
Oh dear Nel, I so empathise. My husband died 6 months ago and it just seems to get worse as time takes him further away. I don’t have children, but I do have some good friends and although that is distracting it doesn’t replace one’s lifetime partner. Like you, I spend a lot of time sobbing, trying to cope with loneliness, anxiety and panic attacks.
I have also been diagnosed with osteoporosis which doesn’t help as the future looks so bleak. I keep going by getting out into the fresh air as often as possible, seeing friends often, making sure I have enjoyable fresh food and, although I was never a regular drinker, I now enjoy a glass of port or wine to relax with my evening meal - to hell with it! Sending you huge virtual hugs xx
I feel the same way. It’s just awful and life isn’t worth living now. X
@laraine.g1 @Martyn2 @Martyn2 @Deb5 @Nick22 i have just started a yoga class for relaxation and meditation. It is about 100 yards from where I live. I have to try something to contain the anxiety. One thin I have learned is left nostril breathing for calm and sitting in child pose rest. Look it up on the internet and we will all give it a try. Sending hugs x
I understand how you are feeling laraine. I have to keep reminding myself that I owe it to my beautiful husband to live my life as best as I can because thats what he would have done and did before cancer cruelly took him away from me. I hope you can find a blessing in every day however small. For me its birdsong and watching them feed. Something my husband loved xx
Yeh mine too … he loved life ! I just dont really love that much wiithout him tbh …
Living is a struggle … im going away with my mum for 4 days on monday … hope that cheers me up a bit … x 
I’ll try but I’m basically just waiting to die. No one is helping me.
Aw laraine i know its really painful isnt it ? You must post on here and people will help you ? I havent that many people helping either … but this site is really good for sharing our feelings. Im scared to do anything or go anywhere without him - he was my rock and now my rock has gone ! Its so tough isnt it 
god bless xx
Laraine i feel the same as that, cant see the point of continuing anymore, Jane was my rock who id always cling too in times when my depression and anxiety got the better of me, now my rock has gone and i feel so alone and the one person i need by my side right now is the one person i cant have, i tried to go with her but survived and now i have to endure this torture and then someone will say to me ’ oh your looking well considering ’ if only they knew the torture that is all consuming my insides
Aaw laraine were here to help each other …there’s nothing wrong with asking for help. I have had to ask and found this group is great at pulling each other together .we got you
Thank you. I’m heartbroken, lonely and afraid.
Laraine., lovely lady, we all all here for you and understand how you are feeling. In our grief, its so easy to forget that our loved one would want us to embrace the rest of our life that they didnt get to enjoy. I feel guilty that im still here and my beautiful husband isnt. I am in absolute anguish at the the most painful and terrible pain he was in when he died in my arms in his hospital bed. I have to remind myself that he is at peace now. And then I get angry that vancer stilole him from me. Im sobbing my heart out right now, for each and every one of us that is enduring loss yet supporting one another. I lost my husband 7 weeks ago. Ive never felt so lost in my life but trying to find a positive in each day to keep me going. I have no family, just a very small circle of friends who I dont want to burden with my pain. So if anyone in this group is feeling the same way, needs to talk, cry, share how you are feeling, your worries, memories, just as I do, you can send me a PM. I’m also happy to meet up somewhere if you need a chat and a hug xx
How beautiful xx
Narna, all of in this group will be your rock. People mean well but like you, i get the same comments, how well I look, how strong i am. They have no idea when im alone how real the struggle is and how crushed I feel. What I will say is next time you receive a comment like that is to ask them if they are willing to listen to how you are feeling inside instead of how you are looking on the outside? As a receptionist, I have to keep a smile plastered on my face 9 hours every day. I have to go to the WC to cry, burst into tears walking through town in my lunch break, breaking down when i come to a place that diesnt feel like home anymore without my beautiful husband. You dont have tonput on a brave face my lovely. Tell people how you are feeling. Some people wont be able to handle it but there are others who will. The torture is so real, never knew such raw pain existed 
You, I, we, all of us are absolutely are supported in this group. You survived for a reason my lovely. To learn, make changes and live a life that would make your partner even prouder of you. We’ve got you and you’ve got this. Sending love and healing thoughts your way xx
So normal to feel the way you do. What are you afraid of darling? A future without your husband?? I totally feel the same because life will never be the same without our soulmates But it can still be beautiful because we are so lucky to have wonderful memories to share, and that will get us through the rest of our days before we are reunited xx
Where about do you live - is that area in the States? I’m in the UK? Xx
I’ve been prescribed antidepressants but am too scared of the side effects and becoming dependent. So hate this endless loneliness and feelings of panic and anxiety though.
Me too. I’d rather try to manage without antidepressants.
Definately. Antidepressants block emotions when we need to release them. Thays how we heal. Sending love