My symptoms were nearly the same and I can sympathise with you. All I can say is that you can and will not get over this, but you will learn how to handle the issues .I still struggle to get by some days but other days are a lot easier. I miss my partner so badly at times, she is my world. I’m not ashamed to cry about her as that is what she deserved. I talk to her all the time, which is a wonderful relief.
I hope that this has been a good response to your post. Regards Eddie.
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I I’m deeply sorry to read what happened to your husband , your and your family.
My husband Pete died suddenly and without warning infront of me and my two young children when he was only 44.
I never thought I would get through it He was my absolute soulmate and half and a lovely dad to our children.
I still don’t understand it after 26 years Why couldn’t he carry on living to enjoy seeing his children grow up and the plans that we had.
It does get easier to bear but there’s not been a single day when he’s not been in my thoughts.
I was fortunate to meet a lovely guy years later and we had many times years together but a year ago he also died after suffering six months with horrible cancer and going through chemo which made no difference.
To see my children and him go through this most horrific thing and to have to say goodbye to him has brought back so many feelings about my dear husband alongside the grief for Richard
The same ‘why’ question is there again and I know there is never going to be an answer to that , so I’m doing my best not to ask , but to remember those most wonderful truly marvellous times we had together and without those our lives would’ve been so much less . Sometimes feels impossible to do but it often helps snd makes both Pete and Richard seem close by. I count myself fortunate to have known and loved two such wonderful men who were very different from each other and I’m glad my children were loved by them.
This is so recent for you and the shock can be overwhelming.
I don’t have any wise words to try and help you live with this but just wanted to let you know that grief does change and people here care so much about each other and understand the confusion and deep loss. xx
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I am so very sorry everyone is going through this - I wouldn’t wish this level of pain on my worst enemy and Chris27 I am so sorry you are having to do this for a second time. My husband died unexpectedly on 13 August and yesterday was his funeral which has been a huge focus and distraction. Now I face what feels like a gaping chasm in my life and my future has been totally obliterated and I am terrified.
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Chris27
You have been incredibly strong for your family as well as yourself and I thank you for coming here to support others like myself.
My heart goes out to you having gone through this pain twice although, like you, I consider myself lucky to have loved someone so much it hurts this much.
Sending love to you and your family. xxx
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Thank you for your kind words and I understand your feelings of terror. All I can say is try to take one moment at a time and don’t be afraid to put yourself first when you need to. Many well meaning people will understandably and with the best intentions want to jolly you along and that can be overwhelming. There are no rules to managing all this. We all just do our best.
Thinking of you x
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Thank you so much.
I wish things were different for everyone experiencing the pain of losing someone they love.
You’re so right about the pain and sometimes it feels like it’s the price we have to pay for being fortunate enough to have experienced a loving relationship.
I wish you continued strength and the ability to keep those precious memories close.
xx❤️
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Oh Madeleine
I’ve only just seen this post and it’s almost exactly the same as what happened to me. My husband got up to go to the loo came back and within ten minutes had a cardiac arrest beside me. Both myself and the paramedics fought to save him but he never regained consciousness. He was 65 and the shock to myself and our sons knocked us for six. We are still struggling to come to terms with it 18 months on. Like you if only we knew he had heart trouble we could have got treatment. I would have cared for him however poorly he was but I was never given that chance.
My heart goes out to all of us going through this nightmare.
Much love
Georgina x
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My partner Frances was sitting in the lounge and I was in the kitchen with my printer because of the noise when it is working, I was printing the adhesive labels for our Christmas cards I never heard anything, and after I had done the labels I went into the lounge to see if Frances wanted a cup of tea only to find her slouched in her chair, I thought she was asleep, but no response so I phoned for an ambulance, and the technician on the phone wanted me to put Frances on the floor which I managed to do, then she wanted me to perform cpr but I told that I was standing on the back of our home fighting for breath as I suffer from copd .there was no neighbours around to help. When the paramedics arrived they said that I shouldn’t beat myself up as Frances was gone even before they arrived. Which gives me a little comfort. I still find it hard to believe that she has gone I talk to her all the time. I think that it is affecting my mental health. I will have to do something about that.
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Thanks for responding. Eddie
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Hi Eddie
How cruel is this life when we have to deal with all this heartache. I beat myself up for a while as I wasn’t able to get John on the floor but was assured it wouldn’t have made any difference. His poor big soft heart was failing and despite fighting to save him he slipped away. I relive those few hours every day and I imagine it will stay with me forever.
BIG hugs
Georgina
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It makes you feel guilty about the whole situation.
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so sorory for your loss
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Many thanks.
Hi Janr
I can so empathise with all you say. My Husband was just turned 69, and also out on a bike ride, something he did often to keep fit … I was starting to get concerned when he was over half an hour late back when I had a knock on the door from the police to take me to the hospital . He had a cardiac arrest out of the blue. Passers by tried to help and the first responders, the police, ambulance service and even air ambulance all tried to help him. Unfortunately he was without oxygen for too long, and even though they eventually restarted his heart it was too late. He was in intensive care for 5 days before they turned his life support off and had never regained consciousness. He passed away quietly with family around him on 28th May.
He was a fit and healthy man and I am devested by his loss …each passing day seems to get harder, but I try to stay strong around others and cry privately. I know 18 weeks is not long but after spending the past 46 years together I still cannot accept properly that he is gone. Sorry for rambling, but I find it difficult to talk about still
Madeleine, I am so sorry for your loss. I so empathise with all you are feeling.
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so sorry doe your loss words are never enough
So true that.
Hi Madeline,
I am so sorry for your loss, I completely understand how you feel.
The same thing happened to me last November, Pete was 59, had just had an extensive medical for his pilots licence and was told there were no issues, less than 6 weeks later he went out for a jog, something he had always done and collapsed and died.
I will never get over the shock, we had just bought a cottage and had big plans to do it up and to travel before we go too old to enjoy it.
I agree, life is so cruel.
How can someone so full of life with apparently no health problems just fall down dead?
Like you I’m not suicidal, but feel completely robbed of our future.
Sending you a hug
Muldool
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There seem to be so many of us who thought our husbands / partners were fit and well before their sudden heart attacks. It does make you wonder how that can happen, especially your Pete, Muldool. They would surely have checked his heart for a pilot’s licence.
The best we can do for them now is to know what they would have wanted us to do with our lives.
I know Richard would have wanted us to look after his farmland, house and garden so that’s what I’m doing. It also helps me to keep busy.
Keep strong and do what you can. xxx
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Yes, that’s so true. My husband had no symptoms of a faulty heart valve. He died suddenly, collapsing and dying almost instantly while with me and our two young children 26 years ago. The private health care provided by his employers had been cancelled 6 months before and would’ve potentially picked up the problem and he could’ve had the surgery which would probably have saved him.
I was fortunate to meet someone to build a different life with some years later but he died a year ago this week. Due to Covid restrictions couldn’t see a GP about a persistent cough which turned out to be a symptom of cancer. He had no other symptoms so the GP told him over the phone to keep an eye on it as it might be a chest infection. He died 6 months later. I’m doing as ok as anyone can do in this situation but I still feel so angry on their behalf as my husband was only 44 and my partner was 59. Both still had so much to live for.
My heart goes out to all of us in this community that we’d rather not be part off, and I wish everyone the continued courage to cope as well as we do. 
x
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now it looks as if my little dog has to be put down. I am heart broken
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