Skylark, thanks for the tip of this get together, I’ve just been in the site and found that 3 groups are within 15 minutes of me. Thanks again Dave
Three groups that’s good,glad to of been some help I only live in a small town and all the groups seem to be aimed at older people would prefer if it mixed ages.sorry to here that you are feeling worse now than when your wife first passed.I felt worse on new years eve than I did on Christmas day,I guess it’s all part of grieving process not good is it
My daughter is coming to visit soon ,I better get dressed as didn’t bother today.chat soon all of you.x
Skylark, my Christmas wasn’t as bad as I thought just a few moments but since Christmas and through till today its been horrendous, this period was always a time me and June would spend going out and about and shopping etc.
I’ll check out the groups around me to see what they are all about.
Thanks again Skylark. Dave
Sorry to hear about your loss Kelly-peace I’ve recently joined the community having lost my wife Balbir aged 49 on November 29th last year.
Again likewise I’m struggling to cope and ask her for strength so that I get by another day.
We’re all suffering the emotions and pain of losing our partners and the dark void left by them will never be filled, I’m left with three teenagers.
I greive and pray everyday, talk too her daily just as if she was still with us, no one knows the situation except for us.
Our shoes are hard to fill by others.
Hopefully we can only try and get through these circumstances with the help of others on websites such as this.
Rav.
His there, do you mind me asking how you find out what groups are near to you ?
Thanks
Debbie
Hello skylark and everybody else in these conversations. I would love to get a group of us all together and don’t mind travelling to a degree. Wonder where you are all living. I’m in Sidcup in Kent. Is there anyone remotely near me ? Hope you don’t mind me asking. I just feel we could all be of some help to each other in this horrendous journey
Debbie
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Debbie66
You can just go on the website and it tells you where all the groups are but just to help you there is one below from website near you
Kent 4
Sidcup,Orpington,Eltham, Sevenoaks,Biggin Hill, Paddock Wood, Tonbridge
Dave
HI Debbie 66, I live in town called dunstable in Bedfordshire the train links here are awful I can get to Birmingham and London. Regards the sites I just Google support groups for widows.The one I told Dave about is called the jolly Dollies ,men can join too ,you have to pay 10 pounds to join site but it’s for the year.It will tell you if thee is a group near you.I don’t have any and I don’t drive.you can chat on the site too but I found this site to be better for talking.good luck.x
Hello Ravinder,I’m sorry to here you to have lost your wife it’s not easy I know I lost my husband he was 51 in October is was all very sudden.I hope your children are giving you lots of support and comfort,I have two daughters and they just go about as if everything is normal which I’m finding very hard as they don’t know how to give me comfort.you might find that your children all grieve differently .what age are they?I hope you and your children are giving each other lots of hugs and love as I find that is so important at this time.take care
Thank you for that Skylark.
Debbie
Thank you Dave
My children are aged : 17,18, and my eldest one is 21 they aren’t the kissing or huggy type unfortunatel they greive in silence each in there own way.
Whilst I’m suffering all emotions of losing my wife Balbir, not eating properly not sleeping well, lost a lot of weight through my greiving including our kids.
I cannot accept what’s happened our lives have been changed drastically since she passed away on 29th November she was 49. Normality has left us, our house is empty without her presence.
Missing most of all is being able to hear her voice and having a adult to talk with, similarly like your husband’s loss it was sudden.
I wish you and others like us who share such sentiments regarding the loss of our loved ones can find peace and comfort from such forums.
Rav.
No rhyme or reason for it but today I’m feeling so low and tearful again. Will it ever go away ?
Oh Debbie I’m so sorry you feel so bad today, there isn’t anything I can say to ease it for you but a bit of advice that worked for me I felt very low from 27th through till yesterday, today was a better as back to work as normal so I wrote down all the points that were bad and Ines that were ok, yes the negative side is longer but this pointed out to me that I don’t have a work/life as all my points where I’m not sad are work related either at work or bust at home.
I’m somehow going to try and sort this but I know it’ll be hard as just have no motivation to get up and about.
Hope tomorrow and the coming days are better for you
Take care Dave
Hi dave, thanks for your reply . It’s just so hard. I’m really glad you have an escape with work. I gave up work to care for my husband in his last year. It was so painful and 8 months on I’ve lost confidence in going back to work ( I’ve worked my whole life ) but still at present can’t face it. Every day gets harder for me with the heartache. I know we are all suffering and it’s not just me . But I just want to scream tonight and cry for England. I volunteer in an animal sanctuary and that’s my saving grace when I feel up to it. Why did it even have to happen. We should not even be here … sorry but just having a very very low night
Debbie I’m so sorry that you had to give up work and are finding it a struggle to get your confidence to return. I’m sure you will as although it doesn’t seem like it at times especially today you are a strong woman and that shows after these 8 months without your husband take some strength from him what would he be telling you.
I know what June would be saying to me at times and I speak to her everyday on things.
I guess I’m lucky as June’s mum and dad looked after June in the day, as it was June’s wish that I dint pack up work even though I wanted to to look after her.
Let your emotions go Debbie, I was told by my counsellors to let it out and don’t bottle it as it will make you ill, I do and boy do I let it go sometimes, its painful I know but I find it helps me.
I still ask these questions why us/me why did it happen to the best ones why are others on this earth enjoying themselves, these are typical emotions.
I must admit I feel better today and do tonight after coming home from work but have had 5/6 bad days but I’m not looking forward to tomorrow night as will be back in my own again.
Please take care and keep strong
Dave
Hi Debbie,
so sorry to hear of your pain…it is strange how grief takes us. “so far so good” for me…famous last words. I feel wretched and tearful all throughout the day…very anxious and just useless.
even though I have been prescribed an antidepressant that is given at night (an aid to sleeping it supposed to be) all it has done is given me a dry mouth and a headache…I am waking up in fits and starts…tomorrow–I hope–will be a better day for us all?!
David
Just reading what you say is a small comfort. There are lots of us sadly on this horrendous unwanted journey and hopefully we can try and keep each other strong by sharing our feelings. I talk to Andy everyday and sometimes scream at him for having to leave me. And I know thats not rational because he fought so hard to stay. I’m still haunted by his final few months as he had so many horrendous complications from chemo and radiotherapy and it just won’t leave me. I’m hoping in time I can think more of the happiness we had together rather than the illness. It’s truly a wicked wicked disease. I have just recently taken a massive step and gone back to the health club we both loved. It was heartbreaking having my first swim again without him but I acknowledge it’s a baby step. I wish I could say something to help you after your loss of June but you sound like you are doing the best you can. Thank you for the messages and let’s all try and stay as strong as we can .
Debbie
Hi David
Sorry also that you are going through this awful journey of grief as well. We can never ever be prepared for the raw harsh pain it brings. I get the sleep problem as wake many times every night. It’s just awful. There seems no escape from it all at times. But we are all on here to support each other. Say what you feel and you will start to realise you are not on your own.
Debbie