Thank you for your kind words and advice. Sending love x
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I lost my husband 11 months ago suddenly at home. My son and his wife live in another county, my daughter met someone and unfortunately he doesânt like me or other members of the family. It makes things ten times worse. I am not allowed over to my daughterâs house now that he is there. My little granddaughter is caught in the middle. Itâs awful. I feel totally lost.
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Iâm sorry for your loss, I understand the pain. Iâve not got kids, prefer dogs but your daughterâs boyfriend sounds a terrible person and a very controlling person. Perhaps you can contact your daughter without him knowing and meet her in the park or something without him knowing.
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Aw ⌠i have same problem with my son too ! His wife controls everything and he allows her to 
its awful isnt it ? Makes the grieving process so much harder ⌠take care xxx
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Donât understand how people can be so hurtful at such a time.
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It shows the measure of the human being Iâm afraid. Karma will get them in the end but it doesnât make it any easier
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I found meditation like deep breathing helped and listening to calm music as well
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@Milly1Galloot I am so sorry to read that you have lost your husband suddenly. I lost my husband suddenly 7months ago and finding every day hard. He was 53 years old. I have a son who lives at home but planning to move out in the near future. I see you live in Norwich. I live just outside Norwich. take care and big hugs xx
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Thank you, for your kind words. Its certainly very hard to struggle through. He was my soulmate, and I miss him so much. Iâm lucky that my granddaughter makes me laugh. I volunteer one day a week and find that helps give me a sense of purpose, a reason to get up and out.
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If you like dogs offer to take one for a walk. My friend is doing that at the moment and loves it. She chats to people on the walks and has actually made friends with a few of them. Plus it gets her out 2 or 3 times a week.
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Thank you for your good advice.
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My wife died of COVID on a ventilator in two weeks .that was two years ago and I still cry every night . It hasnât got any better for me .x
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I know about loss, my mother died in my arms in January at the end of a four year battle with dementie (I was her principle carer) and had it been a film would not have got passed the sensors, its hard I know, but you have loved and been loved and one day you may be loved again and 7 months is nothing for a real loss, it is a time for courage and a time for faith and the best way to honour your husband is to make a success of your new life, do NOT feel guilty about enjoying your self with friends are going on holiday with them, it is part of the healing process, so keep your friends close, good luck.
Tim
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Tim ,my mother too died of dementiaâŚshe got to the stage where she didnât know anyone .then one day I got a very terse phone call from the nursing home âŚ" Sorry but your mother passed away an hour ago "
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That is hurendas, I have heard reports of nursing homes (one near me ware two deaths are being investigated by police) and I am sorry to say some of them treat the inmates like some boarding schools I attended in the 70,s (my prep school head master was abusive and almost certanly a peodofial, the same place know Holly bank care home ware the two deaths are being investigated) coincidence?, ask a clairvoyant, they will tell you ware evil has taken place its shadow lingers, why do you think there is no wild life near Belson concentration camp?.
It sounds to me that your mother was not in a good place and to receive a call like you did was callos, I was determined not to put my mother in a care home and she expressed the desire to die at home and with the help of others I was able to grant her wish and I am glad I could do that, it took a terrible tole on me, but I was her by then only son, everyone else, including my twin brother, has gone on to the next life leaving me quite literally the night watch man and unlike Boris Johnson (I would love to see him try and sue me for this) I know how many children I have fathered, zero, and at 63 that is unlikely to change and I do not see it changing, there will be no one after me, I, am the last of my line and when I am gone that will be that and I have no desire to bring life into this world, that would be a cruel thing to do, the world is about to go to the dogs and man has caused it with polution,greed, over explotation of resources, arragonse and frankly hatred that feeds upon itself like a perpetually growing poison fungus and those who have gone before us are in a much better place then we are and living in piece, your mother is at piece, no one can hurt her know and you will be with her when your time comes, may God bless you and guide you in the days, weeks, months and years ahead.
Tim
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I have bad , crap and ok days. Everyone I speak to say even after years it doesnât get any easier. Not much I can do about it but it is going to be a lonely old life from now on. People do annoy me though. When something like this happens they say, we will stay in touch, come round for a drink, we will have a takeaway night, anything you want just ask. Then nothing. Its like they donât want to get landed with someone on their own so they all crawl away.
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Hi lonewife - I agree with you about the bad, crap & ok days & it does not get easier, you just learn to live this lonely life. The amount of friends who have disappeared from my life is shocking. I even bumped into my hubbyâs best friend the other day & he had forgotten that it was the 2 years anniversary since he died. He was actually there with me that night. His parting shot was we will have a drink one night - not holding my breath. xx
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People think we will be clingy but I wouldnât be like that - often just would like a chat with someone but everyone is so busy these days they donât want to chat.
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It is so hard, all we want is a bit of company now & then. The loneliness is just awful. You are right everyone is so busy & people are now so wrapped up in their phones that the art of conversation is disappearing. xx
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I have put in an application for a befriender on age uk. Donât know if I will get anyone. I want to be alone to cry but donât if you know what I mean. Almost look forward to cold calls on the phone. I wish I still drove. At least I could go for a drive around the lovely countryside near me or to the nearby coast. I am trapped in this house surrounded by memories and no him.
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