I think sometimes people think they’re being helpful, but losing someone to suicide, well it’s a bit different , if you know what I mean.
Like its almost a taboo, and people don’t know how to react, but there is no protocol.
So very difficult .
Thanks Fi, I just cant imagine removing anything at present it was both our home we chose it together.
And I’m sure you probably feel the same
I know what you mean Alana, someone asked me today what happened and when I told them the reply was 'it’s and you could see that they felt awkward
Sorry it should say there reply was ‘oh’
I sleep in my partners t shirts, there is a favourite one of his, that I never wear, as it was one of the last things he wore , that I never put through the wash, his scent is on it, may sound strange, but I don’t want to lose that x
Alana, when you say you had a blank day, is it almost like you are on autopilot and just going through the motions. I forced myself to go to the supermarket today and it felt like an out of body experience and I was just an observer
It’s the smallest things you miss, we did everything together and now the W has been replaced with a M and it me now and it’s difficult
Exactly, physically you’re there, mentally on autopilot, emotionally in limbo
That makes perfect sence, I have already hidden Sharon’s PJ’s she was wearing that morning incase someone washes them
1 Like
I felt like I was watching a horror movie the only problem was I was in it. Spent weeks in a complete daze dealing with police, funeral directors etc and really not understanding why this happened to me. Things like this don’t happen to me that happens to other people. I totally agree with people not knowing how to deal with suicide people used to cross the road to avoid speaking to me.
Can we do this again tomorrow at 9PM. I know it may sound daft but its comforting to know that I wont be facing tomorrows coroner’s appointment alone.
1 Like
Absolutely, please don’t ever think your alone
I fear that my rollercoaster of formalities is going to start tomorrow having to deal with undertakers etc which I thought was still 30 years away
I know i really struggles dealing with everything and 20 months in it still isn’t finished
Totally understand, the coroner has opened an inquest into my partners death. I’m frightened of the verdict, as I’m trying to cope with what I already believe happened, I don’t want to hear anything different , as I’m scared of having to grieve again for a different reason, if that makes sense ?? X
I hope we can do this again, sharing this is important x
1 Like
Hi
I had the formal ID of Sharon today. I was so scared to see her as I was worried it would confirm that she wasn’t coming back.
But strangely it was nice to be able to hold her hand put my arms on her shoulders and give her a little cuddle and kiss. I am weirdly feeling at peace at least for this exact place in time.
Hi, Richard,
I’m glad that it went ok for you, I did wonder if you’d be on here tonight , because of today’s event.
It must have been comforting for you to hold her. I was with my partner when he passed away, there was some comfort be found kissing him and holding him, telling him how much I loved him.
How are you feeling now about today ?
I’m currently feeling relieved that she looked at peace and in no pain. I was able to go through the formalities with the coroner and then go back to say goodbye before I left.
I’m just concerned that by the morning I will be pining to have her back with me.
I also have to go and start the process with the funeral director tomorrow
Maybe today has been a bit of a turning point, perhaps your grieving will change, not lessen, but change a little, maybe acceptance ?
Today for me hasn’t been great, quite tearful whenever I spoke about him, but I decided I wasn’t going to sit and dwell on things, so the highlight of my day was when I went to the car wash.
Tomorrow I have another little plan that will take me out of the house , even for only an hour, it’s a step in the right direction.
I hope you have family who are supporting you. My youngest grandson is just over 2 years old, I’m amazed how much better he makes me feel when he’s around me