I think all of us would live our partners back, it’s not silly at all. It us just your way of coping.
Thanks for that bless you … way this woman said it you would think i was commitimg some terrible sin !!! Why is she so bothered ! Silly woman …
think its just the sentimental value … i just cant bear to part with them !!! Not yet … as you say anything that was his I cherish … its all we have left isnt it ? Xx
Yes that’s perfect i tell people i will do what i want when i want and how i want when it’s their turn they will know what we mean
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Deb5
Thank you for understanding. I’ll take your advice and not phone back and see if she phones again.
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I am shocked thar people think they have the right to tell you how to grieve tbh … when they not even experienced it themselves !!! The flipping cheek ! And i love that you tell people that ! i will do what i want, when i want and how i want !!! Lol xx
Yeh … unless you wanna text her at some point … but maybe if you still angry with her … leave her to stew for a bit ! Xx
Thank you stay well and safe lots of love to you x
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Certainly do not phone or text angry. Things can escalate when we do that.
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@Deb5
I am the same as you Deb. I just can’t part with my husbands clothes or possessions, not yet, I just don’t want to.
I did give some of his coats away when there was an appeal for warm clothing as I just felt I needed to. I gave our neighbour some new pj’s and things I had brought him that he never wore so again, that felt o.k. Some one on this forum a while ago said that they started the process by giving their husbands trousers away as they weren’t personal so I did that and cried loads as I found clean handkerchiefs in the pockets. The rest of his clothes still hang just as he left them in the wardrobe. His shoes are still on the shoe rack too.
I know what you mean @Bill2, there is this tiny little hope somewhere in your mind that they may want them again.
You do what is right for you Deb, take no notice of anyone as they are not in your shoes.
Sending hugs xx
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I’ve even had someone tell me how to walk the dog saying how far my husband used to walk him how he used to let him off the lead how he used to bring biscuits out with bim. For one thing my dog is 17 yrs can’t go far. He’s deaf so can’t call him back and i don’t take biscuits out. I feel at the moment people make me sick. Someone offered to help with my husband’s clothes some brand new but no way was anyone touching them. I gritted my teeth a d did it on my own. How i did it i don’t know. All his certificates are still on wall for dog handling u
but just can’t do anything with them he worked too hard to get them.
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So sorry for your loss.
I lost my husband of 45yrs last Augusts very suddenly. One of our shared passions was for lawn bowling which I’ve struggled with this year. We had moved house just 6mths before. It was our forever home which we both expected to have another 20yrs in. We married at just 19 and this home was to see us into our old age but it wasn’t to be, he was just 64.
He loved our new home and we had started to put a garden together. I find the garden and creating a new garden very comforting myself. I will sit out there and sometimes just let the tear’s flow for just like you I have lost the one person who truly knew me and I miss him to my core. It’s like he took my heart with him.
I try to focus on what we had and not what we should still have. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t but that’s ok I could never live without him so I don’t think I need to live without him now 
Take care of yourself, take each day as it comes and let the rest sort itself out. Easier said than done I know.
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I definitely agree with you on that and about not telling these people anything. Learnt again this morning in my local shop. Asked how i was. Started telling her about my son being badly bitten by a dog. Something must if caught her eye and she just walked off. Another said hi and as i walked towards her put her hand out and said sorry working. Amazing. I’ve finished now. They can all get lost. Hope they never need me.
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Wearing black
I’ve not worn black since my husband passed last August. He didn’t really like to see me in it but in a way it would be easier to wear it as a sign of mourning just as queen Victoria did for all those years.
We don’t “get over it”, well I don’t think we do!
What we do is try to live each day the best we can.
I don’t want to get over my husband.
I WANT to talk about him even when it’s hard for me too. How I feel about him is the same as when he was alive and the pain of loosing him is physical but you all know that.
I’m not going to start wearing black but in someways it would say without words “I still love him and my heart will always be his. Respect that’s and don’t judge something you don’t understand “
I’m going out later in a blue and yellow dress, blue is my favourite colour and yellow his but the people I’m with won’t know that.
We all have our own journey but a little respect from people would help it along.
Have the best day you can folks
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I’m very tempted to tell the next person who asks me how I am that life is rubbish at the moment but I probably won’t. Why do we care so much about not making other people miserable?
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Hope you have a good day too. For the first time I’m having the book club here later. I’m having it here so I can’t make excuses not to go! It’s 5 months now since my husband passed away and I know I have to make an effort!
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I decided I wanted to wear black for the funeral. I only had one. It was bought for a lunch function we were going to just before covid lockdown. I never got to go as I had a cough. It was the first time it was worn and probably the only time.
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Well you know what they say about misery loving company?
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@Palmart
I’ve got blue on as well today, my husband’s favourite colour!
I won’t get over losing him and like you, I want to talk about him even when it’s hard for me to do so. He is in my heart and sole.
Enjoy your day,
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When queen victoria lost bertie she went into hiding for years didnt she ? Xx
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