I have a step daughter who said I would always be part of the family and I know she is grieving for her dad but I am grieving for my husband. It has been almost eleven months and in that time I have seen her probably three times. I have initiated most of the texts and feel that as time goes on they will disappear. I know how much she loves her dad and how busy she is with family but I feel I no longer exist to them. Mother’s Day came and went and I always got a card and Maltese’s from my step grand kids but this year it did not happen.
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Hi these people who say these things to you are really cruel. You will never get over losing your husband you just learn to live with it. I’m very lucky my family are very good but I’m still lonely. There is no time and don’t beat yourself up. Unfortunetly these people have no idea how it feels untim it happens to them x
I lost my beloved wife to pancreatic cancer just over five months ago I do really feel for you as I can understand time will heal,I miss the lovely walks we had together,so I send my love to you
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I lost my husband eleven months ago. It feels like yesterday. I am moving back into our bedroom and ha a new carpet today. When they left I just cried. Everything seems so wrong without him x
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I feel for you @Nel, I hope the changes to your bedroom enable you to feel better about sleeping there.
When my husband died I couldn’t bear to sleep in “our” bed and had to get rid of it. It was the one place we could truly be ourselves and always used to talk as we settled down for our nights rest. In the end I sold our home…I just couldn’t stay there without him, the loneliness was crushing. (I’m not recommending that you do as I did.)
You are so right when you say that everything seems so wrong. 
I’ll keep you safe and warm in my thoughts tonight as you (hopefully) settle down to a good nights rest.
Thank you Daisyrose x
hi Lynn I found Mothers Day very hard , after taking flowers to Rebecca,s resting place i took my daughter an her family out to dinner . It was the 1st time we went out without Rebecca being there.
The staff all came round with a little pot plant for all the mothers it was very hard to hold back the tears. Rebecca passed away 22/12/21 her service was on Christmas Eve.
just sending you some love an Hugs something we all need.
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All will join this club at some point.
Changes cause fresh grief. But give it time, it is amazing how you will adapt.
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Today seems to have been a long day I too lost my husband nearly nine months ago now to pancreatic cancer it came from nowhere such a cruel disease. I miss our walks together gardening together catching up with the newspapers Its hard to come to terms with not seeing him anymore I still cannot come to terms with it Trying to keep positive and putting on a happy face to anyone you meet .It can feel very lonely at times when you are without your soulmate. Thinking of you all that have been on their own this weekend.
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Chrissy 2
My loss is only just over five months but it feels like five years it was very quick ten weeks before my wife passed away so for yourself it must seem like a lifetime since you lost your partner,my heart goes out to you 
Chrissy that letter you wrote could been mine. I feel all those things as you feel my husband died of mesolemnoa and was only ill 3 weeks such a shock. We gardened together decorated together and was my best friend. We were married 53 years and had been together since I was 15 and him 16. The garden is so painful for me as he loved it and I was his labourer he was the brains. He used to sit on the seat and say don’t we make a good team. Like you I miss him so much and try to keep going everything you said I could of wrote. Stay strong and we will get there hopefully but always something be missing
Thank you both for your kind thoughts it’s not easy and I too was married for 53 years
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It’s been eleven months. I feel sad and empty. I feel a little better when my sister and brother are here. I have spent the last month doing the bedroom had new double glazing and carpets had rooms painted. Had front flagged. It is now finished and looks good but I am still sat here in an empty house feeling lonely and sad and wondering what the rest of my life is going to be like. Umm H so much. I spoke to a medium who said he was always with me and told me things that nobody would know only me. It gave me comfort. I just feel so lost. I don’t know how to be alone x
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I feel for you @Nel, loneliness was almost the worst for me and like you I had a good home but it always felt so completely empty without the man I loved all my life.
Try to remember that we are all here for you when your brother and sister can’t be there for you. I know it’s not the same but we’re better than the silent emptiness. 
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morning all feeling very lonely and empty I our homes now we have lost our love of our life will we be able to find the strength to look after the house and garden it’s very scary future 11 months and I feel worse as I know it’s for rest of this life I feel I must have been a bad person my husband was a good man I miss him so much the pain is awful I tick along family think I doing well inside I’m so Brocken night time is horrible and when there is know one around to talk too this sight does help it’s sad that we are all on here going through this pain take care x
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Thank you for sharing your feelings. My husband died three days after Christmas and 6 weeks after an unexpected cancer diagnosis. I experience everything from anger that we won’t get the chance to grow old together or do all the things we talked of when he retired (it was going to be this year), to not being able to think of anything at all, sitting for hours (not) watching mind numbing tv. You’re right, we are in a club none of us would choose to join and although I know it will happen - I look forward to waking up one day and feeling as if there is some point to life again. I wish we could all go for a cup of tea somewhere and share the hugs so many have sent, but in person. x
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SRW welcome to the club as you say no one wants to join we will all be able to share our grieve together when we feel down iam so sorry for your loss at a difficult time of the year
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Srw so sorry for your loss we are all in a dark place most time yes it would help if we could meet up and have a cuppa together there is no where around me where I can meet up with people in same place and only if they have lost there love. one could they understand does help to speak to those that have
Like you I lost my husband so suddenly 11 months ago we was going to both get our pensions had plans what we would do all gone and I don’t get any his state pension all years he worked he would be cross life is so unfair isn’t it take care x
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Spot on about missing the hugs…and the empty house! I play in bands, and she isn’t at the gig so no more conversations and critique on the way hom e, no smiling face i n the audience…
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