Hi Simon, I am so gateful that some people on this site have shared their thoughts and fears as i have. It helps to get things off your chest and you realise that others are feeling the same way as you wether it a lady or a man who has lost their loved one.I am so glad that you have got your son and you can help each other through this awful time. Your wife would be so proud and happy that you ae supporting each other. A holiday was just probably what you both needed. Stay safe . Love to all
Hi Herb, Thanks for your reply. I am so glad that you are trying to live your life as your wife would want you to. It is very difficult yet for me cause i dont feel like i have a full life yet. I keep trying but it is like there is always something missing. My husband would want me to carry on and just be happy, and i am trying. Every day i put a brave face on and tell people i am fine but deep down the sadness is always there. The way i think sometimes is that we were very lucky to have found our soul partner as we did because some never do i suppose. Good luck to you and stay safe. Love to all
Dear Gerbil, Just keep doing what your doing. Keep getting yourself up and get yourself out into the fresh air for a walk. Ring a friend and have a chat. These are all things i do . Keep posting on here and tell us all how you are and what your doing. We can all help each other. Your not alone. Take care Love to you
Dear Eileen, I donāt know if what you are feeling is normal but I still feel the same 14 months after my John died. I am still full of sorrow and cannot see any point in my life. I am sad and lonely and wish I could go to sleep and not wake up. I love my family and friends but nothing or no one can make up for what I have lost. Sending love and comfort xx
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Dear Barbara, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved John. I know exactly how you are feeling and maybe it is normal to feel so sad and full of sorrow. There is so many of us feeling the same way and struggling to get through. I am going about my everyday life but it is the alone time that gets to me and then that is when i think back to when we were together before my Hubby became ill and then died. That is the worse and i am in a painful heartbroken state. It happens most days. Like you say nobody can help you its your own grief that overtakes you. Love to you all
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Thank you Eileen. I have had some real support from other widows. They understand the pain. Itās like nothing else Iāve ever experienced. Xx
Hello Barbara
I feel your pain. I am totally bereft. I canāt be alone I am on the point of madness with grief. I cry every day for my beloved man just feel there is no point to anything anymore.
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Hi Jaquie24 It is horrible how we keep getting these flashbacks of the last days together, especially if our partner suffered. I felt so numb and bewildered after my soulmate/ husband died and I felt guilty that I could do nothing to prevent it and that I was living and he wasnāt. I found it harder still to think back to the good times before all this nightmare. I had a birthday and our anniversary within the first two weeks after his death. Now it has been 15 weeks and the loneliness and sadness gets worse. I too wonder if I will ever find the āmeā that I used to be and will I ever smile again.
Dear Gerbil,
I know that feeling of going mad with grief. Sometimes a proper cry helps a bit. I have some diazepam tablets which I can take if things get out of control. The doctor says not to take them everyday as they are highly addictive. If they are I donāt really care.
Sending love and comfort,Barbara x
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Hello I lost my husband on11/11/2017 we went everywhere together. He had a stroke 2 years before he died I cared for him as he could not move his left side ā¦he had to sleep in a hospital bed down stairs. I put him to bed and the next day he was dead they said he died of heart attack in his sleep. I know itās nearly 3years since he died but they say time heals this is not true. I cry every night when I am inb
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Hi. I feel all your emotions it helped reading your post that Iām not the only one feeling the pain. My Husband died 6 months ago and we were married for 47 yrs. Obviously this pandemic has impacted on all are recoveries. Greif is hard enough!! Had a terrible weekend should have gone to my pilates this morning could not do it. I feel the miss is getting worse and obviously the support getting less. Thinking may have to contact the Dr for possible medication?? Dont want too but not sure how long I can go on feeling the loss and the loneliness. 50yrs is a long time to be with someone itās like a huge part of me has gone.xx
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I also use those as a last resort. Iām afraid if I start to cry I wonāt stop and will become hysterical and out of control. Sometimes think I am going totally bad . Itās just hell 
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Hello Annie
I went down the medication route it didnāt help at all. Talking to others who really understand seems to work for me. Friends have fallen by the wayside lost patience with my grief. Itās a very lonely journey unfortunately. Please feel free to chat with me whenever you would like. I really understand.
Lindahx
Thankyou Linda. I think I will hold off for a while. I feel I am loosing the energy to contact people now. I would try and feel the calender in the early days. Perhaps it was a one off this weekend I hope so as I feel drained with the crying!!
I joined the Jolly Dollies widows group only to be with ladies like me as all.my freinds have there husbands partners. Unfortunately because of covid they are not meeting up which is a shame because like you I find talking and being with people who understand very helpful. Xx Letās hope the brighter days will come again.
Anne.xx
Can I private message you somewhere
Hi Lindah. That would be nice. Iām on messenger Facebook whatās app . [Edited by admin] Not brilliant with technology only know the few basics of using my phone. See what you can do?? Anne
Hi @Annie53 and @Gerbil, if you would like to send each other a private message through this site, there are some step-by-step instructions for how to do this here: https://community.sueryder.org/pub/help-using-this-site#private-message. If you need any further help, please email me at online.community@sueryder.org.
Our community guidelines ask you not to post your real full name or contact details in a public message. This is to protect your own privacy and security, as these could be seen by all users, not just the person you are replying to.
So sorry. I am new to this. It was the first time I posted today. Thankyou I thought it a bit strange. X
Thanks Eileen, I also put on a brave face - I mange to play the role of 2 people. One the world sees, the other is filled with sadness and loneliness. I have leaned to balance the roles out ā other things in the family and society occur that keep these 2 roles in balance. Yes, I was blessed to have her in my life when I did - I truly was blessed!
Herb
Hi Eileen, sorry to say I know exactly how you feel and couldnt put it into words better myself. Unfortunately tho for me this is after nearly 2 years, and having been with my husband for 58 years in total. Feel now is the time to get some counselling as I have struggled long enough. I think we both have to realise that we are not alone, there are many out there in the same situation. We can ony pray for the hurt to ease. Take care of yourself I will be thinking of you. xx
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