well done,im glad you felt at peace, x
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Well done ,glad you found some peace
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im wondering why im feeling low today,then i looked out the window,another storm blowing in off the atlantic,driving rain,gales,im sure that the winter SAD does exist,bring me sunshine,even if its cold.
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You are certainly experiencing the winter weather Let’s hope you have a lovely early spring
I decided to make a sponge for a bit of comfort but I did laugh
Paul made beautiful sponges- he used the scales which I’m sure makes a huge difference 
They are in the oven now and luckily I have remembered them !!!
Hope you managed to find something cosy to occupy you Mandy - SAD must be awful but I’ve heard the lamps help I’m switching lots of light on to cheer the house up x
thank you,the wind has dropped,so im less apprehensive about noises,im easily spooked! this is the second winter on my own,the weather was bad then too,im sure thats why i floundered,no blue sky winter days, i have a “daylight reading lamp” it certainly does cast a lovely yellow glow,uplifting! i have never made a sponge,well,not since school,i love cooking but not baking,and thats because you need to be accurate! enjoy a slice and a cuppa. ive just had a glass of ginger wine,warmed the cockles! x
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Good idea x
Hello anyone stuck with Saturday night blues
Managed to do my two things today which is what I set myself to have some sort of achievement I did have a lol at the Tv The dog went to bed ages ago - she’s only 10
I think I’ll have a cuppa out tomorrow and look round the shops for a change of scenery
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It’s been a very long lonely day I’ve only spoken to one person and that was hours ago.
I find the longer I’m on my own the worse my head gets with feeling sorry for myself. I know we have a right to feel like this but I hate it. The house is so big and so quiet and I drift from room to room. I hope to sleep at least I know tomorrow I’m seeing my SiL for lunch so something to look forward too. Lots of people say they will be there for you but when you need someone there isn’t anyone there. That’s why this forum is a comfort. We all get it. The loneliness is crippling at times.
I hope you manage to sleep tonight.
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I really hope you are ok
Sending hugs 
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I’ve had an awful day. Crying for ages wandering around the house. I curled up with one of Ray’s jackets, trying to get some comfort from it. I wish I felt his presence but I don’t at all. I wish I dreamt of him but I don’t. His sister tells me she does but not me. I miss him so much, the pain in my heart is huge right now. The grief feels like a massive weight on my chest. How do you go forward after such a loss, I’m still trying to come to terms with it
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Dear Heartbroken and Peg 2
I’m so sorry that you have had such a sad and lonely day I hope you get to sleep to have a better day tomorrow
I was doing ok crying wise until this evening and as others seem busy I came here just to “ speak “ to another human being
I’ve joined 7 clubs as my husband and I only moved here a couple of years ago
It’s becoming predictable that the people you think will be there for you are not so it’s so sad to make new “ friends “ with people who will have no idea of my loss or even when they know will have no idea of my dear Paul
I had a few moments this evening when a peace settled on me and I hope that will happen more often hugs to those still awake x
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I too didnt dream of my husband in the firstfew months.i was told it was because he was on my mind all day .i was desperate for him to come in my dreams .my daughter bought me a dream catcher.i laughed cos i didntbelieve in things like that .but i think i relaxed about it and he started to come in my dreams.
Its not all the time but iy definitly helps x
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It sounds wonderful that it helps
A long long time ago I went out with a lovely young widower - it was too early for him to have a relationship but I bought him a dream catcher He had said how he felt when he saw a feather fall -I hope it helped him in someway now I understand unfortunately how he felt
Talking of things falling
I was overwhelmed trying to remember all the loving things Paul had said
So I found some pretty post it notes and I write anything I want I remember on one and put them on his picture or on the wall by it in our bedroom
As they fall now and then it is a happy reminder
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i wish i had stayed logged on last night,i too had lonely ol day,but thats weekends for you,i watched some rubbish tv,i did cook a nice supper,and “drifted”around the house. interesting about dreams,only twice in 16 months has adrian appeared i my dreams and one of those was as a ghost,that really upset me,i woke up screaming for my mother!!! im hoping im seeing a friend later today,not set in stone,at least im on countdown now to friday “ week in gweek” with friends,so i must count my luckystars. i have discovered there are clubs called widows friends,they meet for coffee weekly in most towns in cornwall,a yearly fee of £26,theres one in my town,something to think about? to be honest i dont know what i want!
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Sadly I dont think we will ever come to total terms with the loss of a partner,I expect we just learn to live around the grief and eventually find a new normal. Not only is it painful and devastating losing our other half but we lose a massive chunk of ourselves too. Our whole identity changes. I lost my husband 8 weeks ago unexpectedly and totally out the blue. The trauma kept me in shock for the first 5 or 6 weeks but now that’s wearing off I just feel a lost soul at odds with all I knew. I too feel alone and have no sense of him anymore. I keep telling myself this is life and we all lose people we love at some point in life,but when it’s your partner it cuts especially deep as you shared a home ,life and your whole existence with them. Please take one day at a time and keep coming to this forum . I find it helps to read other people’s experiences.
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I agree cant imagine feeling any better than i do now .,im in my second year and people say thats harder because reality sets in ..i still feel physical pain of a broken heart
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I agree that a broken heart really does feel like a physical pain. The waves of grief come at any time or situation. The only change I have noticed after almost two years is I now recognise the feeling of deep grief coming on. At least January is now over and February is a short month so Spring may only be weeks away. Longer daylight hours may help us all even though most days I feel there is no magic potion we just have to take one day at a time. Sending hugs and best wishes to all the special people on here.
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you are so right about spring being a help,i cant wait to see the sunshine,its a great “lift”. im 16 months this week,more than one person has said 2nd year of reality is tough,i can have back to back good days,its a nice feeling,i think picking myself up is easier on the days i fall. x
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had a real old melt own yesterday,my son and daughter in law were trying to change my travel arrangements for later this month,my rail tickets would be valid,but the time schedule didnt suit me,the way i feel confident,of course it amounts to it suits them better as they both work full time amd their WFH days have changed,i understand that,my suggestion that fitted in with WFH didnt get accepted,so i have opted to leave a day early,its a sunday and should be my full family day with them,but if it makes my life easier,thats the way it has to be,i hope they will come to understand the way my brain deals with things that make me anxious,i think my son forgets that grief plays a big part in my less confident, less positive persona,im not the woman i was 2 years ago. im sticking to my guns,after all im doing them a big favour dog sitting in their half term ski holiday,they will be back on saturday lunchtime,so we get some catch up time,as for my future visits,its my way. of course it would be much easier if i had the confidence to go up the m5 in my car,no chance,unless it was dire emergency,then adrenaline takes you! so frustrating when what seems a simple thing causes a meltdown,they dont understand,my SR friends will. rant over x
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Its hard when they live away isnt it ..my husband always drove the 3and half hours to my daughter in hertford .
Now i get the train to euston and meet my daughter after work .i was there last weekend and she asked me to catch the tube across london …but before i could do it she decided she couldnt cope with the stress lol.so she met me ..you do lose confidence.
Hope you are having a better day x
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