Oh yes I know a friend of mine has one have you ever needed to use it I carry phone with me around the house too
Horrible isnāt it. I hate being anxious all the time
Yes it is horrible never been anxious till on my own. Have as good a day as you can I have my adult grandson staying tonight
Lovely to have another human being in the house! Iāve just come back from a 5 day break with my daughter, son-in-law & adult granddaughter who I shared a room with. Now back to an empty, silent house
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its lovely to go away,see family/friends,but then its home alone,takes the shine off things
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Yes I need a break but then home to empty house again
Havnt done anything with the ashes yet
Abbiesnann
So sorry your hurting so much,i lost my sister four days before losing my wife nearly five months ago.
Itās been a rollercoaster of a journey.
Donāt let things get bottled up let others know how you feel.
Your never far away from help here,always remember that
Sharing helps.
Take care 
. 
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debsie1 i have just re read this communication,and now its almost 5 months since my husband died,.the tears just flow at the very mention of his name,its certainly worse than when i first chatted on here. dont get me wrong,im not sitting here sobbing my heart out,its just the uncontrolable āwaterworksā. im going to spend half term with my family,but already im getting upset at the thought of leaving them to come home ,i could kick myself for feeling āselfishā,its all about me,am i feeling sorry for myself,or is this just part of the grief package. i think we will all benefit from the arrival of spring? its been a long dark winter since october 6th. i hope everybody else out there doing ok.
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I feel exactly like you. Itās been 4 months since losing my husband. Got through the first Christmas, the first New Year, and the first Valentines Day, but also got through a 5 day break away with family but the return to the empty house was just hell. My anxiety does not seem to be lessening - dishwasher has gone wrong and I was nearly in pieces over it - so stupid, when I calmed down I have organised for someone to come out next week to have a look at it - simple really, but it brought it home to me that itās just me who has to sort everything out. Itās not selfish, itās just anxiety in a different form. I too have uncontrollable waterworks - just ask the dishwasher engineer I spoke too!
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Abbiesnan
Youāve done well getting past some of the firsts,it only takes something going wrong big or small to set many us on here to get overwhelmed with tears.
Tears i find lets me get my breath again
Itās only four months and i donāt mean that in a bad way you will get there have you thought about councilling (maybe Cruse)
My wife found they helped her after losing her first husband and later her son. When your feeling low come on here and say how your feeling there be someone who will share it with you.
Take care ,best wishes to you. 
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Thanks for the reply. Iām trying to locate my local Cruse. Seems they are no longer where they used to be which is close to me - still waiting for a reply from them.
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aww thank you,i never really thought about this as anxiety,ive always been the strong one,the ācoperā not the anxious type,i really thought i was just āfeeling sorry for myselfā,but once again i know im not alone in my state of mind. i dont think face to face is for me/counselling. its just good to sit here on bad days and share,somebody who is walking in similar shoes.
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thank you,i agree just coming on here,typing how you feel on the bad days does help,sometimes ive been here on a good day,and been able to say something i hope is of use to some other lost soul.iv got the next 2 visits to my family planned,that helps,im here now,going home tomorrow,think thats why its low day,i try and keep it from them,they get upset too but ,"coping better"as busy lives/business to run,2 young boys.
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I agree coming on here can help. Iāve had a few bad days today being absolutely crap. But I know Iām not on my own on here. Someone mentioned anxiety. Itās something I never had until now. How does anyone else deal with it? Iām really struggling and last time it went into full panic attack mode. Even today I was waiting in a queue to pay I had to put basket down and walk outside. It was awful. X
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Happened to me too. Never suffered with anxiety before or had a panic attack but now even the slightest thing can trigger it. My GP offered me Sertraline but I know that just takes away all feelings & emotion, so Iām determined to deal with it without medication but if all else fails I know I can ask GP again. I wake up anxious about what might happen that day - anxious before there is anything to be anxious about! Bonkers.
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@Abbiesnan
Trust me youāre not bonkers love. Thereās a massive load of emotions that come with grief. Past couple of days Iāve been crap. So down having weeps here and there feeling sick and anxious. Grief. So as per Iāll let it wash over me and hope tomorrow can be a better day. X
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Thank you. I always hope tomorrow will be a better day, and some times it is, and some times it isnāt but I keep hoping.
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im telling myself,no presciption meds,or solace in alcohol. infact i dont even really fancy a drink.
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yup,ita roller coaster,i have waves of nausea again,it started that way,and has come back,i thought i was going mad till i came on here and realised i wasnt alone,just wish the crying would settle,today has been a tear fest,and for no reason in particular,and this afternoon i came on here,sent lots of messages and felt a whole lot better,its getting it off your chest
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@manb
I totally agree. Iāve had one of those days. But now I have headache and it hurts to cry.x
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