@Abbiesnan
Definitely. X
i knew i was wrong in thinking i had turned a corner,last week was busy, going out fullfilling with the decorating,now the sun shines,its quite warm,and i feel totally miserableā¦thats the roller coaster of our lives now.
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@manb
I know what you mean. Iāve done exactly the same. Yesterday for me was horrendous. I cried I screamed I shouted. The sun was out and all I could think about was the plans weād made for the warmer weather. The days out. What we were going to get done. Totally miserable. Xx
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Yes Iāve felt the same yesterday and today cdnt be bothered really to go outside in the sun just feeling sorry for myself bug today wdve been out 58 th wedding anniversary
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@Pickle1
58years. Thatās some time bless you. Your feelings of loss must be immense. The only words I can offer is that you both were blessed to have met and blessed to have your time together.
Thinking of you love with hugs of comfort. Xx
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Thank you for your kind thoughts certainly is a long time I can remember our wedding day and went to Torquay it was really a hot day March 4 th and hot
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So sorry for your loss my partner of 51 years passed away suddenly without any warning at the end of 2024. I have good and bad days too like most people on here. You just need to keep plodding on itās all in the end we can do and hope life gets better. I am trying to get through the grief process which we all know is not easy. Take care everyone on here
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@Abbiesnan you shouldnāt have to hide your grief from your daughters and granddaughters. 
In our family, we (or I, at least) protect our mum.
My dad died suddenly and unexpectedly aged 76. The consultant in ICU said to me and my 2 siblings that we need to look after our mum, because itās different for her - he said that we have our own lives, but my dad was her life.
Iāve been staying with my mum since it happened. I didnāt think that sheād survive the loss of my dad. 16 months on and she definitely finds it hard, and sheās more likely to spontaneously cry. (I cry, but itās usually when I set time aside to do so.)
What Iām saying is that you should let your daughters take care of you.
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Thank you. They are hurting so badly, all in their own way, but all of them in such pain. I do not want to ever be a burden to them. I donāt want them worrying about āwhat shall we do with mumā concerned if I am on my own, worrying about how Iām coping because, as you say, they have their own liv so still early days really.es, but my husband of almost 58 years was my whole life. Itās only been 5 months so still early days.
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I e read through all the posts here and am going through all of the same feelings. Tonight is awful, worse than ever. 7 months sti lost my lovely husband of 42 years
He died on a Wednesday so Tuesday nights just make me think of our last night together, if only id known. I live through every minute of that Wednesday most days itās still so unreal. Iām angry tonight, desperately lonely lying our bed alone. I canāt reach out to anyone because I donāt want to disturb them at this time. All my family think Iām coping, but Iām not.
I agree about the sunny weather, I d rather it was dull and rainy, the nice weather just makes it more painful. I thought I was on my own feeling like that. Everyone saying, itāll feel better when the weather gets warmer. No it wonāt!
Sending my love to all you going through this hell.
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i have been retired 12 years today,and all i can think about ,and feel blessed that we had just over 10 years of carefree time before the cancer, and the palliative treatments .it was a fun decade,retired,new caravan,son got married,and we have had 2 wonderful grandsons. but im not alone,love to you all who are walking in similar shoes. x
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My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly in October. After 42 years together. And same here, Iāve cried with the smart meter man, the plumber, the water meter man. In taxis and on trains and planes. I was out the country when he died. Easy jet staff were lovely. As were all the meter men! Donāt know when Iām going to stop crying.
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Iām so sorry for everyone on this site. I can honestly say this has been the very worst day. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Iām finding the pain, torture and loneliness and missing my husband overwhelming. So I really do understand everyoneās grief and hurt.
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Hi thinking of you I get really sad down days but try to get out every day as canāt stand being alone in the house
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@
To All.
Yes the missing and the loneliness are the worst. I myself have tried to keep myself as busy and out if the house as much as possible. I keep trying to wear myself out just so I can actually go to sleep and try and let not only my body but my mind relax. Because no matter what you do the constants in your head are always ā why, what ifā. That alone is exhausting. Iām doing what I can to get through day by day. Itās just sometimes it all overwhelms me. X
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It is exhausting isnāt it. Thank goodness there are people on here that understand exactly how we feel. Always here with a listening ear if you need it xxx
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Every time I have a bad day I think itās the worst day so far only to have an even worse day hit me at a later date. It is overwhelming. Just got in this evening after my granddaughter took me out to dinner. It was a lovely evening, but coming back to the silent empty house has knocked me back to square one again.
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Iām reading my all the recent post and can identify with all you are saying
Loneliness- thereās a condition that we never thought would happen to us. I certainly didnāt back when Bridget was with me and we shared everything. Always thought it happened to others.
Now I find it difficult to fill my day even if I want to. Sometimes I just sit and think about where did it all go? Life changes so quickly and no one seems to be able to alter it for the better. Counselling, joining, signing up to social groups when the one you really want isnāt there. Iāve been advised to try it all, but the only thing that helps is time.
Iām currently watching a couple and their dog enjoying the seaside and their company and obviously happy. We were like that - oblivious to what was to come. I canāt see me being that happy with someone else - i know others do find love again but it just seems disloyal to her memory to even contemplate it.
Yes we all feel like that
I met a dear friend Iāve known for years today but lost contact had a real good catch up talked about roger my husband who passed in November it felt so good for a chat
Yes I see couple all the time
Now just me and the cat and great to see family to
Your gonna be fine and live in hope I will be too
Thanks for reassuring me that Iāll be fine. I really think weāll all be ok in the end but all our different journeys take different time.
I try not to look at the little videos I took when she was in the care home for 4 years showing her both content and confusion. Itās so hard to look at someone you loved and was your only love who didnāt recognise me and treated me like staff. I said I love you many times but Iām m not sure she even knew what love was. I kid myself to think that I was special. Who knows?