My late husbands mum had dementia in her later years and was in a home …. When her husband passed two years before we had to tell her there was a complete blank face and look we didn’t think she had taken it in but a few days later she was inconsolable and we are sure she then realised her husband had passed
So your late wife I’m sure took on board that you loved her very much
Take care
@
To All.
Yes it’s hard for us all the coming home to an empty house. I’ve been taken out on a birthday party. Just a meal a few drinks. It was nice. A change. I’ve opened the door shouted out that I’m home and now I’m sat here on my own. And that’s it. On my own. TV on what’s on I haven’t gone a clue. I haven’t cried today. Yet. I’m starting to feel a numbness. Like it’s not really happened at all. I’m so fed up and tired. Xx
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Thank you for that considerate reply
Hope it may of helped
Cdnt sleep last night feel not right today but it’s weekend !
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Feel the same x
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@Tenpin oh that empty house is a real hitter i guess i have Linda’s mum upstairs as she pretty much room bound now cant handle the stairs alone but its still the walking in without her locking the car or asking if I’m ok with the bags of shopping and putting shopping away together greeting the dog who wants a fuss her taking her jacket off or whatever she was wearing that day putting it on the bannister post the little things it hits hard and that tv on but as you say not really knowing whats on or even watching it i cant even watch some of the programs we used to watch together esp game shows we would join in answering as a couple see who get the most questions right and that numbness is horrid like being in a bad dream hoping you will wake from but of course it isn’t a dream at all deep breaths lovely and big hugs 
Martin
I’m trying so hard to not let this be a bad day. I feel so helpless against these waves of emotions that keep hitting me. It’s exhausting. X
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I know exactly how you feel. The last couple of days have been very hard. I lost my husband five weeks ago and I feel like I’m living someone else’s life. Things don’t seem real.
I’m in physical pain with my back and thigh. Is this all part of the emotional pain? The emotional pain isn’t going to go away - just wish the physical pain would ease up.
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I didn’t realise how much grief can affect you physically. The first couple of months was convinced about 4.00 every day I was coming down with flu. Now 21 weeks in that has eased. Unlike the emotional grief.
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Yeah it’s wierd. When my wife was in hospital all the pain I had for years in my knees disappeared. I put this down to adrenaline with the stress. After she died the pain started to return and I have had a chesty cough since the funeral which has been much worse with a blocked nose around 4am.
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@
To All
Yes I too felt physical pain. It’s odd how grief affects not just your emotions but your whole body. The aches and pains. Imagineing there’s something wrong with yourself. It’s awful. I’ve had a few days of what I call respite. I’ve not felt too bad but I’m not going to sit on my laurels so to speak. Xx
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It’s good to know I’m not the only one who feels like they’re physically falling to bits! I’m thankful that there is somewhere I can vent about things like this without bothering my friends and neighbours
@Mag4
Yes unless they have been in the same situation as yourself they wouldn’t understand. I mentioned to one of my friends how I was feeling and she told me to look at the old woman across the road that she still goes out for a walk AND she was with her husband longer than me!!! So besides feeling totally deflated I just thought I’d shut my mouth and suffer in silence.xx
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I buried my wife in the September and by December I was in hospital with cancer and finished chemotherapy some months later.
I think all the stress over the 6 previous years and finally her dying brought about the illness, I’m convinced of that, no matter what the experts say.
Stress does terrible things to us and I believe we have to accept the changes we experience. Give ourselves permission to do what we need to get through these awful times.
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@Peter11
I totally agree with you. I’m sorry to hear of your illness. I agree with you on that too. Bless you. Although I know you’ll still be missing your wife I hope and pray you are now on the road to recovery.
Bless you and take care. Xx
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Yeah i know that pain we had the funeral snd day or so after i just had the most excruciating pain around my chest ribs felt like i was being crushed could walk get out of bed Linda’s daughter had gone back the 300 miles home and i had ring 111 first responder came out did lots of tests heart trace on heart as I’ve got heart issue but all was coming back as ok bit i couldn’t move they thought it might be muscular skeletal gave me some pain relief and said if it gets worse ring back but it did ease on pain relief but i fought it as looking after mum in law now but had ring Linda’s daughter to come back which luckily she could took me drs gave me codeine and naproxen which just helped as could hardly walk after few more days pain relief was working bit still on them now nobody knows whats causing it its not as bad now bit my back shoulder area still aches unless i keep taking meds they think its the trauma based and stress it really does have an effect on our body grief takes no prisoners at all
Martin
You can do without 'helpful ’ remarks like that!
It’s unbelievable how insensitive people can be. These things can knock you back so much.
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I’m having some health issues too, dizziness etc which I’m sure is down to grief. I’m wondering if anyone else has the thoughts I’m having and I don’t mean this in a heartless and terrible way but every waking minute my husband is on my mind, I really need a break from this and don’t know how. I’m so desperately depressed.
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Patsy I have just done a 5 mile walk and I can honestly say I thought about my husband every step. 5 months for me but I miss him just as much as ever. I think we probably have improved but its so gradual you don’t see it. I am finding it easier to speak to people, and can sometimes mention him without crying. Its just some days seem particularly hard. Hang on in there, one day at a time.
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