Thank you for that Debsie. So sorry for the loss of your husband. I’ve been trying since early this morning to do some gardening but I can’t seem to move, I might try later. I’ve been doing short walks but last few days haven’t. This grief is awful, isn’t it? X
Since my husband passed in November I’ve had weird thoughts like how am I gonna die what will happen
Can’t stand the quiet or the empty house hate it can’t stand being indoors have to get out
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I’m the same Pickle. I know I must go out, but the garden is a safe place as it’s private, and I won’t see anyone. Think I would go to pieces just now if even someone said hello. If I can make myself go in the garden the fresh air can only do me good. X
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Yes I’m in garden now only me to worry about and safe here
I do have days now too where I gotta go out to speak to someone
I dont think there is an end to it . I lost my husband of 55 years two and a half years ago & I am still suffering with anxiety now. I have gone through phases when I have felt ok & then it all starts up again. I have a grown up family & 5 grandchildren, all of which are lovely but they all have lives of there own. I live on my own & find it very lonely. I dont go out a lot as waiting for knee operation. sorry to be doom and gloom but grieving knows no time limit. Hope you start to feel better soon x
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I did a bit in garden for an hour, so much to be done. Thank you for your post Orbitblack., sorry you’ve been struggling to after losing your husband. We were married for fifty six years. All my family are so far away. It’s a horrible situation we’re all in. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a magic pill we could all take to ease the terrible pain. I’m just needing a break from the sad thoughts, they’re constant, no respite. Sending love to all of you.
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To All
I’m having a bad day today. I’ve been plodding on trying telling myself he’s watching me and willing me on. But today I’m not feeling it. Feel so low and mentally and physically drained. Just as if I’ve totally had enough. I’m sorry for moaning folks x
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I’m feeling the same Tenpin. You’re not moaning. This is the place that we can share our feelings. For me I think that this is what Hell must be like. X
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So sorry for your loss waiting for surgery and if you are in pain very very difficult. My loss is similar to yours but 3months since bereavement I feel as if the life I’d known has changed so dramatically I have two lovely daughters who has you say have their own lives. I would like to chat with in this web site hope things get easier tomorrow
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At the moment I pray every day that it’ll be easier. Some days it is then WHAM! It hits you again. Finding it harder and harder to get back up at the moment. X
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I’m going to have a rest now as I think I’m repeating myself and not coming up with anything new. Thinking of everyone on this forum. X
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I had a bad day yesterday and it was the first time I’ve actually cried and asked her to come back. It just hits you out of nowhere. I think it was the sunshine and being in the garden looking at the new buds on the plants. We are all on this journey and can help each other through it. I worry that there are people on here still really struggling after several years. I can’t imagine how that feels and I don’t want to be grieving so badly for so long, it must be awful.
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I feel the same. Hoping that things will get better as I cannot imagine feeling like this for years to come.
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I too dread this thought of being so lonely i just don’t see any light at the end of this tunnel and i just look at all the pictures of my linda and lose it i miss looking into her eyes and hearing her voice i had an really strange sense yesterday i was just sat with the tv on but not really watching it when all of a sudden i had this smell a lively sweet flowery smell so strong it filled the air and i was always told by linda my sense of smell was pants and it was i didn’t recognise the smell at first as i was so shocked but this just hit me i walked into the kitchen the hall way stairs even the bedroom nothing so i opened the box of Linda’s favourite perfume didn’t even spray any and there it was just smelling the bottle hot me again channel no.5 the perfume i bought her she prob hadn’t worn it for at least 8 months but i went back down to the living room and there it was again i just broke down then it was around for about an hour or so then went just as fast as it arrived i was a wreck for the next few hours what the heck happened i don’t know bit it was an amazing feeling take care and love to everyone here i hope the next week is better big hug to all 
Martin x
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My days been abit rough today. It seems to be on a Sunday and Monday lately. But I’ve also been trying to sort out my partners pensions etc. I’ve had to put it down for a while. I’m hoping and praying I’m not still not feeling as bad as this in a few years. Otherwise what’s the point of carrying on. X
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Hello @Martin64
Im really sorry you feel this way. But whatever I say won’t come close to helping you with your loneliness. All I can say is I know what loneliness is and it’s awful and I find there’s just no way of getting round the feeling apart from just plodding through the heartbreak minute by minute, day by day.
I’ve taken myself off camping for a change of scenery but as I sit here I wonder if I’ve done the right thing. It’s what we did together and I wish she was here with me. But she isn’t and there’s nothing I can do about it.
It’s companionship and sharing and physical presence that’s gone and until I can accept it I’m always going to be miserable
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Yes. I feel exactly the same. I used to do all the financial stuff for us although I was training my wife up in case something happened to me. I am struggling to close her bank accounts and credit cards because I just can’t get motivated to do it. She always did the stuff that kept the day to day going, dog food, coffee pods (oh how I miss her making me a coffee in the morning) cleaning stuff and everything else. I did most of the food shopping but I really relied on her for ideas. It’s awful buying ready meals for one because I’ve no interest in cooking anymore.
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@Peter11
Yes your right. The companionship. Even if you was in different rooms it was still there. I keep taking myself off out to various places and friends. But it’s not the same. Never will be again. And that is the saddest thing of all. X
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That last paragraph about companionship is so true.
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Yes it was horrid when I was trying to sort out my husbands pensions but they were so good and all sorted now
I have horrendous days but like you I hope it’s not like this for too long I know my husband wdnt of wanted that x
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