@manb got a cheap mower in B and Q as broke the last one. Was ok in Tesco til I saw the turkeys and felt sad as last Christmas day for my 60th birthday John bought me 60 presents. But I count my blessings that my sons and partners will be with me. So went off and got myself some posh bubble bath and white chocolate,And now off to take my big Labrador for a walk in the fields near me. Most days I tire myself out so I sleep xx
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awww,large lab,miss my labs, i miss the dog cuddles and dog love,but for me now is not the right time to replace,i think i would use a dog,a new dog as an excuse to stay at home,just as im finding my feet,getting out,being spontanious. luckily friends/family have dogs,so im not quite dog free! x
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Cloudy sky
Thats exactly what i have been doing walking morning and night when possible it breaks the mood and tires me out because of the 4 times a day and twice at night for her ileostomy checks i didnt sleep through for over ten years so now a couple of times + the social interaction and being busy its helping me control my emotional state even thinking about another dog myself good choice withe labrador and always happy to see you i dont honestly think anyone gets over it you just learn to live with it and i started that 7 years ago keep fighting i know you will get there
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I took have done the garden this year .doing things we dont normally do gives us strength. My car needs an MOT .
Im going to arrange it without telling my son .so when he mentions it I can say ive done it lol.
Keeping busy is the answer .it is better listening to people coping better x
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JAH25
Hi julie we had even discussed changing the car a few months prior to Sharons passing and with the m.o.t. Due it made sense so and i dont know how i did it but ichanged the car doing things when i could on a good day if you can call them that ,the bad days you cannot control but i did one thing after another and i am walking again baby steps but its working for me ,i carry my wife with me in everything i do even though i do it alone and the interaction with others is helping a lot i can even talk about her to others for a while without breaking down every time but its very hard so i limit those conversations one day hopefully the pain will not be as acute but the sea is a lot calmer at the moment and good for you get the m.o.t. Organised you will feel better and your son will do too because he will be worrying about you as well keep up the good work we are winning
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Thanks ..it does make you feel stronger when you do things you donāt normally do.and I dont want to rely on the children too much .he has 2 young children so life is busy .
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I had to take the car for an MOT and get 4 new tyres put on a bit later as they were an advisory. I also sold my husbandās car. My youngest son has been very supportive with things like that. He sold his dadās rowing machine yesterday. It is so sad but makes you think about how fragile and fleeting life is .is I didnāt have the caring beforehand, my husband died in front of me with absolutely no warning although my dad died in his sixties from leukaemia so I have experienced it. Am lucky enough to live by the sea and close to the Norfolk Broads so me and the dog have some lovely walks. And it gets me taking to people . I could easily find myself isolating but I wonāt let myself x
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Cloudy sky
Now we know where the holiday club is meeting the Norfolk broads it used to be one of our favourite holiday destinations the kids loved it you live in a lovely part of the country and yes none of us know how long we have yet another reason to live every day ,even though i walk alone the regulars always talk and i can clear my head for the day ahead or lonely nights tiring myself out to help me sleep, isolating is not the answer re-engaging with the new world we are all in is ,if we are to move forward which it sounds like you are starting to do,baby steps lead to strides but do it at your own pace we are human every one different in their dealing with this horrible situation
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I am trying to do things a little at a time. If you had said to me a year ago this would have happened to me I would never have believed it. It is beautiful here. I paddle board on the Broads sometimes although I kneel, am not confident It is very soothing. I canāt stand up but I am going to next year. It takes us a while to get anywhere though, am actually right on the East Coast. It is hard as people donāt understand although they try. I think it is great you are going on your walks. Good for you! Xx
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I think I am having some weird breakdown. Itās coming up to the 1 year anniversary of losing my partner. I had a period around August where I started to feel positive. However my mental health has taken a real down turn and now Iāve been signed off work for a month. I moved to live on IOW with my partner so we didnāt have family here. I have friends here but not close friends as me and my boy were like one person. I increasingly became his carer last year so my my world got alot smaller then. I have lost so much confidence and am anxious all the time, feeling there is no point in anything anymore. But I feel like I need to move back to mainland to be near family. But it seems so overwhelming and I just donāt know what to do. Does anyone have some good advice or relate to this? X
So sorry to hear you are struggling .i am nearly 10 months into this nightmare. We are all learning to navigate this .listening to others I would say dont make any big decisions for a while ,you may come to regret it .
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I just moved away too for us to be together
Iām not doing anything hastily as this was our first home together and I have comfort knowing that he has chosen and touched it all
I know I will be crying where ever I am When Iām back on the mainland my family have to go to work and school so I would need to put down even more new roots
I have joined new groups which I think is easier if you donāt work
A step at a time I would think
Get well enough to go back to work when ever that will be you donāt know yet
There are 2 groups at the Mountbatten Hospice on Fridays am and pm with coffee after which you may want to think about whilst you are off work The meeting can be somber but the coffee gave me a little lift having a meaningful talk with someone
It looks like a struggle at present because you donāt know when that positive vibe will reappear
X
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Mountbatten are certainly a good shout, they do so much good work here. Itās strange how I am feeling worse than I ever had been. Just really confused and trying to make big decisions with a foggy head and on the verge of tears alot. Just feel like I have butterflies constantly churning in my chest. If I do move, my boyās mum has already said I can live with her until I get on my feet. The positive is Iād have a family network back there, whereas here I donāt. I swing between sorting and throwing things out ready to move to just stopping and wondering if it is even the right thing to do. But am so very grateful to this group as you all just get it and how it all feels. x
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Spiedge,
I understand what you are thinking. We moved up to Northumberland 8 years ago,from Yorkshire. Itās 3 hours to where we used to live, so around trip of 6 hours. So support has been rubbish if Iām honest.
I understand people have there own lives to lead. So I get asked about moving back down. I always say give me a year, but I donāt think I want to, Sue loved it up here, it was her happiest time she said even before she got ill. I am lucky I meet people once a week for coffee, but the loneliness is hard. Just take your time, think about it and do what is right for you.
Take care
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its too soon to make huge decisions about moving,my family want me to move from cornwall to portishead,we said we would talk about it āafter a yearā well,its 13 months now,and im with them this wkend,i guess its talk time. i mentioned it n here some months ago,it was suggested by somebody much further down this path than me that 1year was far too soon,yes,now im there i agree, my head says go,my heart says no to go. i wont be talked into it,im 72 and in good health and sound mind. one day i shall feel ready to make a decision,as im sure you willā¦a lightbulb moment.
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I know exactly how you feel.
I lost my darling partner of 32 years six weeks ago and I feel Iām sinking into a very deep depression, I feel Iām going completely mad Iām even texting his phone every day and talking to a pile of ashes in a urn that no time ago was my wonderful Ronny.
I went for my flu jab today at Tesco pharmacy I was there with my sun glasses on to hide my red eyes the lady delivering the injection asked politely How are you today are you looking forward to Christmas and I just broke down crying right there in front of everyone I was so embarrassed, and told her sorry Iām just having a difficult day 
the poor girl didnāt know what to say. I rushed home to my bed the only place I can cry safely..
Greifing is HELLISHā¦..
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oooohhh,6 weeks is so early,i remember being quite numb at that stage,like a zombie. all i can say is well done for going to get the flu jab as you really do need to look after your health this winter. my words when i joined this forum āi think im going madā i had so many words of wisdom from those who were āfurther down the lineāthan me,these lovely SR friends kept me sane. now,13 months later i have my confidence back,more motivation,ok,its not 100%,but enough for me to realise that i can deal with the void in my life left by the man who was by my side for 49 years. i never thought a year ago i would be typing positivity. i wish you strength during this,as you say,hellish process. keep telling SR forum how you are doing,tell us about the better days too as they come and go. take care
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Sending love , i too remember the early days I really feel for you .nothing anyone can say will make you feel better .but this group helps because you learn all these feelings are normal and you arent alone xx
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Thank you so much for your kind words and understanding yes 6 weeks is still very early days I still canāt take it in.
I have a wonderful daughter who is so loving and kind to me since Rons death ( Ron wasnāt her dad) so I suppose she is not as emotionally involved as I am. When she comes home from work my mood does lift a little but I am prone to terrible crying bouts that come out of nowhere.
I would say I have had about two or three okish days since Rons passing and Iām hoping I will be able to face life a little bit braver in the future
I try to tell myself that I am certainly not alone in this grieving horror and it comes to everybody sooner or later.
I try to tell myself that dying is a natural part of life where the full circle of life closes, I tell myself all sorts but ATM nothing is working , but we all have to solider onā¦.
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Thank you so much
This group is a life saver.
XXX
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