My heart goes out to all of you on here. I’m crying most days and yesterday was my birthday, the first one since hubby has passed. My son and twin granddaughters made it the best they could but there was an empty gap. He always bought me flowers for my birthday so today I have ordered some online. I think or hope he would of approved. take care everyone. Ann
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@AnnieG1, Happy birthday yesterday. So pleased you have ordered some flowers on line, just as your husband would want you to do.
It’s our wedding anniversary next month and I’m going to buy the same colour roses that were in my bouquet and take them to the crematorium, saving one to stand by one his photographs.
This existence we now have is a nightmare.
Sending hugs.
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Hi Annie and Happy Birthday for yesterday though I can see you won’t want to be celebrating. I think it is a great idea to order flowers and I am sure your husband would be really glad you have. Take care of yourself. Xx
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Happy belated birthday wishes. I had already my first birthday in August without my Philmore and I also ordered a bunch of flowers for myself. They are lovely and I know that he would choose them for me if he were still around. Actually, I wanted to go out today but I just cannot face other people today, just keep on crying and feeling useless. Sending love and hugs.
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Yeh have dsys like thst dont we when we just cant face people xxx
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Hi
Being at home in sone ways poses no threat
To me at home I’m close to him
Going out I’m vulnerable I hate it …. Making small talk seeing folk enjoying themselves …… seeing couples!
So stay in my comfort zone home
I talk to Paul all day long I go to bed with his Rab coat
I miss him so so much
I Miss everything……
Lol
Xx
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Yeh i go to bed in my husbands dressing gown. I wear his wedding ring in my left hand and the cross he bought me for my birthday. Losing your husband is the worst 
xxx
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I have worked through the problem of not wanting to see people holding hands or obviously in love. It wasn’t fair or healthy to feel that way, they deserve to feeling of being in love as we did and still do.
I speak to my Maureen all the time and ask for her help and guidance…
I visit her grave as often as I can, as she in buried only 100 yard for where we lived, sorry I live. The grief is intense every time I leave her but I can’t let the plot get untidy.
Like all of you, the loss I feel is very very great but I feel I must be strong for my children and grandchildren and I know that Maureen is agreeing with my thoughts as I type this.
I know it will ease overtime, but have no idea how long that takes and I know in the end I will be reuniting with her.
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Hi
My councillor says it’s still raw and as I say it was July 24th 2022
And we shouldn’t beat ourselves up on how others think we should feel
We cannot love as we all did for years and years and ‘just’ get over it
But……this life is shit
Xx
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Well said indeed xx
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Im so sad … my husband was only 60 and i didnt want to.lose him this young. He was my world. He was so special and srill after 9 months i cant believe hes gone and left me all alone i am so sick of the ypung ones round here … lot of 30 somethings who just dont understand this is why i wanna move because as we get older we realise crap hsppens ! These lot all live in a world where they think nothing bad will ever happen to them ! So arrogant they are !!! ⁶
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Hi Billie, fancy something to eat and I would love to meet you.
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@Deb5 we moved in April knowing that Rob was ill but he wanted me to be safe as i get older. Ive moved to a residential park home where every one is over 55. I am the youngest at 60 with the oldest 93. It has made me feel safe and everyone asks how I am doing, they all are so friendly its the best move we have ever made.
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Yeh not so sure about that . I feel safe where i live - just get annoyed with all the 30 somethings on the street tbh … a lot of them rentals. Think i will move eventually just probably not right time yet as im mot string enough to go through all the buying and selling bit yet !,. Ive made some friends here after my husband passed just think i wanna get out of this area and i will eventually im sure … 
xx
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Well another day of tears I ordered some flowers on line for my birthday as my darling hubby always bought me flowers for my birthday and I hope he would have approved. Well, they arrived this morning and to say they were sparse is an understatement. Nothing like the photo on the website and more greenery than flowers. So dissapointed and they wernt cheap. I should have gone to Tesco or Asda. Wont be doing that again. lesson learned. Sorry for the rant but so annoyed.
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Where did you order the flowers from? I had mine from Morrisons and they are really nice and were only £10.
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@AnnieG1
Complain to wherever you ordered them from. This happened to me when I ordered flowers on line for a friend’s birthday. She felt awful about telling me but she did, and I complained. Like yours the arrangement was poor and mostly greenery.
They were very apologetic and offered me a replacement or my money back, I had my money back.
Annie, don’t accept this. I think some of these online companies use stale flowers padded out with greenery and hope the recipient doesn’t complain,
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@Annaessex stupidly I ordered from eflorist a company I had not used before and will not use again. I have complained but dont hold out much hope. I do love Morrisons but they are a bit far from me. Silly to get upset over a bunch of flowers but I guess its the mood and situation I am in. x Ann
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@Rome18 I have complained to the company so will wait to see if they respond. Its just so upsetting when I know I should have got of my butt and gone to the shops lol . As I said lesson learned. Its just so nice to get a flower delivery. Just makes it a bit special.
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