Hi Anne3 Karen58
Thank you for your messages, as always I really appreciate being able share experiences. I would be interested in a grief cafe too. Karen I know what you mean about talking through our grief, that’s why I find it comforting talking to you both on here. I was crying on and off today thinking about mum and going over and over what ifs? Why do we do that when we know it won’t change anything but just trying to get through the guilt, why should we feel guilty? When its clear we loved our mums and did what ever we could to show our love in so many ways. I see myself when people celebrate their mum reaching 100 and a card from the queen I feel short changed my mum didn’t reach that age and why? Then feel guilt for thinking it. Thinking of you both Perth xx
Hi Anne3
Actually I feel like I waffle on sometimes to but it just shows how our heads are filled with all these thoughts, I agree coming on here is a good way of talking things through as well as perhaps saying things you may not share with anyone else, if you know what I mean. I’m working to try and give some focus and normality, on a good thing I’m at home working a lot of the time which I can cry if I want too or take a ten min break. I think may be I should of lived in with my mum and dad to help and do more but as my mum often said she was worried about the amount of help me and my dad gave, because she had a kind heart, people who knew my mum say I’m so like her. The bit I sometimes struggle with is being kind to myself because it’s selfish. Thank you for thinking of me xx
Sorry Anne, I missed this message.
The cafes aren’t localised so there are people from all over the country. My friend and I have never met but we have a lot I common - both are only children without children. She’s been a great support to me.
I hope you feel able to give them a try, I think you’ll be surprised how much it helps.
Take care
Nicky x
Hi Anne, Nicky, Perth
Maybe we should all set up a whatsap group?
Karen xx
That’s fine with me if everyone else is happy with that? xx
No worries, lets stay with what we have got, plus more people are sharing now so it would be a shame to exclude them.
Karen x
It’s really lovely you’re all connecting with each other. Just a friendly reminder of our community guidelines to be mindful of the personal information you share. We encourage members to avoid sharing personal information such as phone numbers or email addresses. By keeping conversations in the community, we will be here to moderate and help keep the community safe 
Hi Admin…Thanks for pointing that out, I’m new to these sorts of sites. Karen
Hi all…how do the Royals do it, they have lost a husband, father and greatgrandfather and yet they are back at work after 2 weeks! The pressure on them to carry on must be immense! I can just about manage to get out of bed each day. My heart goes out to them. Karen xx
Karen58
I agree.
I did thing the only positive out of this Covid situation was that actuall the queen was allowed to grieve privately to some existent in just having a small personal service which I know is what the duke wanted, they were able to be together in the last months of his life without having to do the crowns business, which I thought was good for the queen.
Thank you for continuing to keep in touch on here, I don’t have WhatsApp either and keeping it to this site, as admin has reminded us keeps us all safe.Perth x
NJL Karen58 and Anne3
Since we last spoke I’ve been up and down emotionally between being really angry and very upset. When my mum died the doctor who signed death certificate asked that a investigation be completed on how my mum got to catch Covid in their care.
We had a letter 2 page report form the Hospital basically it was full of waffle about what Covid is and what they do to try or should I say expect to happen protecting people around Covid. Our wonderful mum was only worth a 3 sentence mention of her name, when admitted and the day she died, didn’t tell us anything at all. We need to let it go, as I know from professional experience health are well known for waffle and avoiding anything that would support us suing them. What I would say as did dad that mum was very poorly mentally and medically so she is at peace and I know she wouldn’t want us to dwell on it. Think of all the wonderful memories we have. When I’ve been low and crying this week my two robins come to see me, it’s mum saying I’m hear and thing beautiful thoughts. I hope all of you are OK, your in my thoughts Perth 
Hi Perth,
So sorry to hear you have had a difficult few days. It’s frustrating when you don’t get the answers and reassurances that you need from the medical professionals. We went through similar with mum, we weren’t told, by the hospital, enough information and there communication issues, which resulted in us not being informed in time for us to be with mum. This meant she died with strangers. We complained but got some random phone call which meant very little, and demonstrated a complete lack of empathy.
It makes our grieving even harder, doesn’t it.
Hang on in there Perth, and keep sharing. Take care. Karen xxx
Hello Perth, Karen and Anne
I was going to post to see how you all are.
I’m so sorry, Perth. But you sound as though you are trying your best to not let the negative consume you which is so brave.
My Mum had bad experiences with nurses in the last few weeks of her life and I am so angry about that too. It seems most people have had a bad experience at the hands of the NHS. Granted there are some wonderful people working in hospitals but there are also some who shouldn’t be doing the job and bad situations arise all the time and you’ll never get a satisfactory response.
I hope you can draw a line under it - for your own sake.
Take care
Nicky xxx
Hi Anne
I’ve thought about you the past few days as you haven’t posted.
I’m so sorry you’re struggling. I am too, particularly as lockdown is easing and I feel I’m being pressured into “normality”.
I agree with everything you’ve said about the NHS.
I hope you’re managing today. You’re not alone, stay in touch.
Nicky xx
Thank you Karen58 thinking of you too xxx Perth
Thank you Nicky you are right thinking of you xxx
Thank you Anne3 thinking of you too xxxxPerth
Hi Anne, I’ve messaged you privately about this xx
Could you tell me what the grief cafe is? Lost my husband 15 weeks ago and finding it so hard. Devastated. Thankyou
Bubba sorry I don’t know.
Just wanted to say hello and that I’m thinking of you.
Perth xx