Hello Bubba
It’s a zoom meeting with other bereaved people for an hour.
They’re not running at the moment but I believe they will be starting again soon.
If you look at The Good Grief Trust website it will tell you more.
I’ve found them to be very helpful. It is very supportive to be amongst other bereaved people and know you’re not alone.
Nicky
Thank you (NJL) Nicky
Thinking of you Perth xx
Thankyou Nicky. Will have a look at that x
Hi Nicky,
Thats really useful information, I will check that out. Hope you are ok.
Take care Karen xx
Hi Anne,
I have had a couple of bad days this last week, it was my grandsons 7th birthday, bank holiday and my birthday, and grandaughters birthday coming up. All times where mum would of been included. It hurts so much her not being around. On days like these I have no words, but have to put on a brave face for others.
You have so much going on it’s understandable that you are having such bad days. It must be overwhelming looking for somewhere to live, work and where to live. All that and the pain of grieving for your lovely mum.
Like you, I wonder how everyone is, and worry when we haven’t heard from them for a while. We have built up a really supportive group on here. I was looking to my very first message that started this, we are over 220 messages now!
Take care, be kind to yourself.
Karen xxx
Karen58 Anna3 NJL (Nicky) and I see Bubba has returned too.
I got a bit panicked a few days ago as I forgot how to find you all and write, probably because I didn’t get much sleep and many things happening work wise which the demands get to me at times. I still feel it a balance to keep working or just give in and do nothing but for me I find at least doing some work keeps me occupied and focused, I’m fortunate to have a manager who says do what you can, better than nothing given we are so short staffed which will never change so you try your best. Although she did get slightly frustrated with me last week and then i started tithing she has given enough time and move on but then I thought that isn’t what she is saying and we can all have bad days. I’ve experienced anxiety and depression for many years now and I know that I am a person that feels you have to prove your worth and that I’m not seen to be working hard enough but I also know from experience that this sometimes is a warning sign to slow down. I don’t always feel supported at home so end up just going into my shell and doing things alone, one thing my dear all mum use to do, I believe we are a like in some ways.
Having court up with your messages I believe we’ve all been feeling upset, frustrated and feeling the loss of our mums or loved one. I’ve having to offer my dad support too as he is often upset and goes over and over things which I appreciate is grief , his way of trying to move forward but that is draining in its self too, then I think what my mum would want and think I need to listen because I hope people would do the same for me. I honestly feel supported by our conversations as we all understand what the grief lark is about. I feel it’s some where I can be honest with what I am feeling rather than covering how you really feel. I’ve cried so many times this week, thinking on what my mum is missing out on as we use to do things on a BH for one example, we would of been meeting for coffee and chats following the restrictions changing, just popping into town to window shop etc I feel so angry that she went the way she did and that I never had the chance to be with her at the time she most needed me, I was looking back the other day on the times I’ve done this in various ways, so I hope she knew I love her so much, which I did often say, we always said ‘ love you’ but when I say it now or think it there is silence. May be I should just still talk to mum when I visit her ashes or look at her photo and get use to the silence but replace it with the memory of when she would respond.
I better not waffle too much longer, so for now I would just say I’m thinking of you Perth xxx
Hi Anne, Perth and Karen and anyone else reading this
I was thinking of you all the other day, the time slips by and I was shocked I’d forgotten to check in.
We all seem to be on the same page don’t we.
My Mum’s birthday is coming up - 26th May and I think it’s making me remember this time last year when she was perfectly well and we had no idea what was coming.
I’ve also been feeling very bitter about the time I wasn’t able to see her during the first lockdown - we did video chats and I took her shopping to her but I had to stand outside and of course we couldn’t hug.
I worked out we missed out on nearly 3 months of being together in the last year of her life, including the two separate weeks she was in hospital.
I know it’s not helpful to think about things and get bitter as you can’t change it but I can’t help it.
I’m so sorry we’re all in this awful club together but at least we all get it.
I’m sorry for all the bad days everyone is having. I just find tears suddenly come from nowhere, a little thought leads to some other sad and painful thought that ambushes you.
Sending hugs to you all. Despite what we might feel, we are all doing our Mums proud, they are putting their arms around us even if we can’t feel it.
Nicky xx
Thank you Nicky
You are so right.
Hugs are important, so I send a distance one too.
Love to you and all on this post Perth xx
Thank you Anne Perth xxx
What a lovely way of putting things, Anne. I hope you can get some comfort by reading what you’ve put, it’s so true xxx
NJL Thinking of you and hope the weekend has kind Perth xx
Hi Anne3
Thinking of you and hope the weekend has kind Perth xx
Hi Karen58 Thinking of you and hope the weekend has kind Perth xx
Hi Perth
Thank you, I hope it has been for you too. Xxx
Hi Perth, Anne and Karen
I’ve done a lot of work on my photo book which I find really helpful.
Are any of you doing anything to help, a project of some kind? I’ve also become addicted to jigsaws, haven’t done them for about 40 years!
Nicky xx
Hi Nicky, Perth and Anne…hope you are all ok. The weekend was a weather washout so I didn’t get out, so lots of boxsets and cups of tea. Stay safe and stay in touch.
Karen xxx
Hi to all of you I’ve been keeping up with the chat but haven’t felt up to joining in for a while. Sometimes I think things are easing a little, at least for a while, and then the grief kicks in again like a weight in my chest. I know that this is normal, and I do just go with it, but that doesn’t stop it hurting. I miss mum so much, every day. Miss talking to her, seeing her, laughing and planning what we’re going to go at the weekend or sneaking in a mid-week takeaway, sharing family news, talking about things that I’m worried about or want to celebrate with her… it’s endless. I do take comfort from knowing that there are many of us feeling similarly, and who understand what we are all going through.
Take care all xx
Hi NPM
Yes I feel the same as you. I’ve had a few “stronger” days recently (which to be honest, makes me feel guilty) but today I’ve had quite a few of those stop you in your tracks moments when I absolutely cannot believe that my Mum isn’t here any more.
Stay in touch, it helps just to get these feelings off your chest sometimes and know that everyone understands.
Nicky x
Hello Anne
I’m so sorry for your pain and loss. I completely get it. We all need our Mum’s unconditional love and support, don’t we and I also miss having her there to be proud of me - sounds egotistical but it isn’t meant that way. I just miss chatting about the little things in life, nothing major, just the everyday stuff that Mums and daughters chat about and do for each other. My Mum was also so much fun, even when she was very ill towards the end and having a blood transfusion every two weeks, she was making jokes with the nurses and they said how lovely she was.
I hate this life without my Mum. I’m also sick and tired of people going on about 17th May and how fabulous it will be to hug people etc etc etc. It doesn’t help at all.
Sending hugs to you all. Stay in touch won’t you. Nicky xx
Hi All I relate to a lot of what each one of you have said recently. The weekend was a wash out I got a few things done at home and yesterday I just watched several films and did some knitting. Anything really to keep my mind on something or try too. I miss my mum all the time too and think of so many things. Yes I sometimes feel a little lighter, then feel guilty then a crying mess. Sleep is still variable and my patience is a little thin as it doesn’t seem to take much for me to feel overwhelmed too much to think about, on top of this situation. Thinking of you all take care Perth xxx