I’m horrified at the treatment received when losing loved ones. I can’t imagine what it would have done to me at such a distressing time.
I cared for my husband at home single handed which was his wish and was the only one with him when he passed in the early hours of the morning. I knew it was going to happen and felt calm for a while. I washed and changed him talking to him all the time. I was able to keep him at home until the evening as I thought his daughters might want to visit. However they had gone out for the day shopping and didn’t appear for three days. Some other members of the family came though. It was all so surreal when I think back. I don’t think I could take it in.
I can also remember saying that if he had been a dog I could have done something about his incredible suffering. I also found Macmillan offered me no support or help either. Our local hospice was more helpful with supplying me with a bed and other equipment.
xxx
Hi i found that with Macmillan when my mum had cancer i phoned them as i was finding it hard to cope with and heard nothing from them so when we found out my husband had cancer i made sure we had support my his nurse at the hospital she was great always ringing my husband to see how he was and then in the end he was put under the care of the local hospice who were great right up untill the end my husband passed away Oct last year and the hospice has kept in contact with me
Hi I had the same experience and no one from Macmillan contacted me for a week and by then I had organised everything myself. They offered me no help. My husband wanted no other carer than myself but the local hospice did make contact with me regularly to make sure I had everything necessary and did offer my husband a place at the hospice which he refused. I am so greatful I was able to care for him up untl the end. Hard work but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
I cared for my husband to as he wanted no one only me looking after him and our local hospice was always so helpful sorting out his meds for him and like you say its hard work but i know if it was me that was ill he would look after me and plus he was the best husband i could ever ask for and he always will be
Thats why i looked after my husband so that he could still go out in his wheelchair and would could still be together i think its alot better having them at home with us even though it was hard work we could watch tv together sit and have our meals together have a laugh as my husband was always joking around i found that if he had to go into hospital for a couple of days i would see a change in him he seemed down but as soon as he was home he was as happy as anything and he started to tell me more of his jokes plus i found he was eating more while at home
That’s a lovely touching story Lonely xx
I would love to live my life all over again with my husband and i spent alot of time at the hospital with my husband i did not get alot of sleep but being with him brought me so much joy and as long as he was happy thats all i cared about
well said sue11 I would do the same for my wife
steve xx
Thank you so much when you love someone you would do anything for them just goes to show how much we loved them xx
I loved my husband with every fibre of my being and I get more broken hearted every day xxx
It’s so hard isn’t it. Big group hug to each & everyone xxx
Big hugs @misprint… this is a person who lacks compassion and understanding….even if she struggling to articulate how she feels, empathy is essential…. Consider how she is hurting you, not helping you, that will help you make your decision around future contact… you don’t deserve that.
Let’s be totally honest none deserve or ever wanted to be in a bereavement group writing about the horror of our every struggles. I still can’t believe this has all happened. I lost my my whole world when my hubby went at of December 2022.
How can it ever feel any better - time I think will not be a healer but an enemy for me. I resent every day without him Xxx
Totally agree…im having counselling but not sure how talking is going make me feel any better or fix my s###y new life without my hubby
I am waiting for counselling but do not think it will help me stop missing my husband and what he went through i do not think anything will fix the pain i am feeling
My counsellor asked me what i wanted from it, what my goal was. I said i want you to tell me youve got a magic wand or you can turn the clock back!!
SO wish we could have a magic wand or turn the clock back i would do anything to have my husband back in my eyes nothing a counsellor can say will help me because i loved my husband so much and unless they can bring him back i think anything they say will not help but i will give it a go
No magic wand no medication will take away how we feel ,some cope better than others some of us need extra help ,We are All Individuals from different walks of life Its down to us which path we take ,as with most of you my life changed on the 12th july 22 lost my wife the love of my life But I will Battle on
stevexx
Im sorry but that is horrible!
Friends are surpose to be people you can rely on. People who when your having a shit day or need to talk you go to! And im sure she would soon be round at your front door of she was in your situation!
If my situation has taught me anything its who my true friends are and thats a shoulder to cry on whenever i need it and whatever it was about! X
I feel just the same. I’m going through the motions day to day. No real joy in anything. Just waiting……