Told to stop wallowing

Well said. I heartily agree.

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My adult children and I and my sister have counselled each other.

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looking at a zoom meeting so we can talk to each other if that helps Not sure how zoom works but willing to give it a try if any one else is interested??
steve

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Lonely You are so right We worked with animals and as much as I could emphasis with people losing a pet it was only when it happened to me I could truly comprehend how they felt. At that point did I feel qualified to really comment. Have to admit after loosing my parents in such a short time of each other and then my husband a year later I never in a million years thought it would be this hard. I would never go to a councillor for the reasons you say. I am really thankful I have a very supportive family and friends. I feel so sorry for people who haven`t, mind you did get rid of a toxic sister in law and that felt good . Take care everyone we are all on this horrible journey none of us wanted or even expected to be on x

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Totally agree with you @Lonely.
Unless someone has lost their partner and loved them to the extent we were all lucky enough to then they can’t understand.

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Tried counselling last year 5 months after my husband died. Not sure how much it helped as I spent most of the sessions crying! However i did get off my chest some of my deep feelings of being let down by doctors, hospice etc.etc. i felt i wasnt being judged - just allowed to say what i wanted. Not always able to do that with friends/family as sometimes felt i didnt want to upset loved ones.

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I keep hoping it is all a dream like the showers scene in Dallas - if only …… xxx

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@Lonely
I find that with a lot of bereavement groups - the people that run them have never had the type of experiences we have had. Local to me they have been looking for volunteers to train up! How does that work when they haven’t a clue? I want someone who can sympathise and share their own experience not an advocate or adjudicator or just looks or listens for key words to admonish you with.

We need real life groups locally who can sit round and share their grief just like addicts have. That would help far more - guess no one has the funding but could actually be cost effective xxx

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@Jean8 - to be honest I exist and breathe but I don’t live. I find no joy in anything because he is not sharing it with me xxx

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@Lonely Thank you for sharing that lovely story, it did make me smile. I can just imagine your neighbour taking offence of being mistaken for your mother and being told to carry in the bags - such a cheek! Just hang onto those brighter moments, I hope they help you get through the day. Its early days for me, I lost my darling man in January after 46 years, the pain is unbearable but I do have hope that one day I will find some joy in my life again, he would have wanted that, I would for him should it have been the other way round. I wish you many many more brighter moments xxxx

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Wouldn’t that be nice? I remember that well.

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Love that @Lonely
Thank you for sharing it. :joy:

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@Jean8 - it would be fantastic! Instead I feel like Freddie Kruger has paid me a visit xxx

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@Lonely - what a fab story. A boost for you when you needed. I know it is not what you really needed as a boost. I am so down at the moment - it has only been 10 weeks for me but it feels like 100 years. What will I do? Xxx

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Thank you for that post lost my wife in july 22 But you put a smile on my face remembering how my wife tried to teach me how to Jive properly in the front room
Bless you
steve xx

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Long may you continue to be the girl who jives with the vacuum cleaner. Sheila I think Martin Luther said ‘My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary.’ Thank you for your comforting words, things will never be the same again, but we are so lucky to have experienced so much love. Keep jiving xxxxx

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Long live Rock’n’Roll! My darling husband and I have always been 70s/80s music lovers, but nothing compares to the swinging sixties and previously great 50s talented musicians. @Lonely, have you seen the Elvis movie? I absolutely loved it.

You’re such an inspiration, @Lonely. I am only just over four months in but when I read your posts it gives me hope that I won’t always be just dragging myself through the days. Big cuddle to you. Jean x.

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Morning Sheila,
I too like reading your posts, i feel you give lots of hope and insight not only to the *newbies" but everyone on here.
Counselling isn’t for everyone. Life experience goes further than a certificate.
You go girl – and strut down the high street with your designer specs on!!
Keep posting
G. Xx

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Hi Sheila As a ‘newbie’ myself, your posts are what gives me hope there is a life in which there are moments of joy and we can learn to smile at the world again and through glamourous sunglasses! thank you. Lots of Love xxx

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