This site is great no one knows who you are but people know what everyone is going through no one judges you! Take care everyone my thoughts are with you all x
Such comforting and beautiful words @Sulane thank you xx
I am so grateful for this site and everyone on it. The support and understanding is the most enormous help so thank you to each and every one of you. Jean.
We’ve just got to be there for each other, because until you live threw it you don’t and can’t understand it xxx
Months ago I told our son I’d joined this site, explaining that while i recognise he and his sister have lost dad, I needed someone who actually understood what I go thru each day and I can moan & groan with others who know!!
Thanks to all here.
Yes its so nice to be able to talk to someone that understands what you are going through i lost my Husband 5 months ago and then found out yesterday my Auntie had passed away everyone on here has been so kind and understanding
it is nice to talk ,but it is a very big uphill struggle no two days are the same ,Lost my wife in July I get angry frustrated emotional ,don’t sleep don’t eat ,wonder from one room to another ,being a carer for my wife over the last 5yrs and work full time takes it toll, BUT if I had the chance I would do it All again The only people who can change is us
love to you all
I know exactly what you mean. I cared for my husband 24/7 for eight years before he died eight years ago in 2014 and afterwards I was so lost, I did not know what to do with myself, I had no-one to take care of anymore. I don’t know about you but our home had become so run down during the eight years I looked after my husband, what with paramedics coming and going, the wheelchair damaging paintwork and doors but my husband refused to let any workmen in to do jobs as he just could not cope with it. After he died, to give myself something to do, I ripped up carpets, got a decorator in and bit by bit I got our home back to what it used to be. It took me two years as I had a new bathroom installed and new central heating. It took it’s toll on me because by trying to take my mind off losing my husband I had totally shattered myself and I could not stop crying. Gradually over the following years I started to live a different life, a quiet life. I don’t go out much and when I do it is nearly almost alone, I love my 60’s music and can still jive away in the back garden with my brush.
Same as you, all I want is a time machine and go back to 1964 and do it all over again.
Just been reading and catching up with these posts. I have laughed and cried while reading them. Your burger story was a tonic as the last few days have been bad ones for me and not sure why.
I thought I had turned a corner but realise I have not.
I wish I could motivate myself . I need to paint my kitchen as my lovely husband had started it but didn’t get to finish it. I don’t mind painting but for some reason I just can’t do it. I keep hoping he will, doesn’t make any sense I know as he can’t possibly. He has been gone for almost five long months now and I have tried to be so positive . I have been for lunch and coffee a few times with friends but prefer to stay at home if I can. I just sit about all day and know it’s not good for my health as eating too much as well.
I think Karen said in one of her posts that she will not let grief win. I very much want to feel like that but at the moment it’s not happening.
Hugs to all xx
I think we all come at this at different angles we are not wallowing we are coping in our own way. Me I have renovated a cottage , never painted as many walls in my life, moved in and have the old family home on the market. However this is how I coped I never stopped, a bit worried now I have. I was also my husband
s carer for about 10 yrs as he had really bad mobility issues but I accommodated this as they say in sickness and in health. My life has changed so much but I am thankful I am an independent person and dont mind my own company, but I hate evenings just can
t bring myself round to settling down. Finally after 7 months I sleep better. I dont think there is a right way or a wrong way we do what is best for us as we are the one left behind. Some days I miss him so much it hurts and I don`t know why other days I smile and laugh at what we did . I do know that moving was really the best move for me. Just do what is best for you
Don’t forget that I have a daughter at home who needs a lot of input from me and needs taking places so I have no choice but to do things. That does help as most of us will do anything for our children so her needs force me to be busy.
It is also longer for me as Richard died last April. I hardly did anything for the first three months other than in the house and garden.
As @Heather56 says, we all have to find our own way and there is no right nor wrong.
Since my husband of 47 years died eight years ago I have put on three stone in weight by eating rubbish, so tomorrow, I have decided I am going to give myself a kick up the backside and do my Slimming World diet. I have just put in an online order for delivery in the morning.
It is a never ending life of ups and downs, some days I am absolutely fine, enjoy going out, but other days I just don’t get dressed. There is no-one to see what I do but tomorrow is going to be a turning point for me. I have some lovely clothes that don’t fit and I know Peter would be so sad that I have got myself into this state of affairs. I have pinned a chart on the fridge and hopefully by summer time I will once again be the slim woman I have always been. Grief takes a terrible toll on our feelings and our health, so I am going to finish off the Cadburys Cream eggs tonight then there will be no more distractions, if goodies are not in the fridge then I can’t eat them. I put my dentures in the pot as I have some ulcers so I will have to suck the eggs.
Ahh Lonley. i wish you the very best of luck with your Slimming World diet, I am sure you will soon be fitting into the lovely clothes and your Peter will be pleased. I went shopping this morning as I had to and brought lots of fruit and also chocolate!!
I wish I could hide away some days but if I don’t open my blinds in the morning my neighbour phones me. They get up very early but I don’t as it makes the day longer.
Best of luck with the diet. xxx
Thank you Karen. I will get there eventually as am determined. Just slipping backwards at the moment.
Had a REALLY crap day today. I WFH; in the middle of a meeting, with me talking, boom!! All power lost!?
Next thing, my house alarm is going off! I was so stressed, first because I was in a meeting, second I just didn’t know what to do?! My Martin did all those things…
I phoned my brother, he didn’t pick up, so just sat on the stairs crying my heart out…
I just feel so alone & I know my Martin would be heartbroken looking at me now…
It’s just so bloody hard…
Love to you all.
Feeling for you. It’s such a kick in the teeth when things go wrong and our husbands would have sorted it. The pain of the loss comes flooding in and even a small problem seems overwhelming doesn’t it?
@KarenF just so awful… my tears have leaked into this evening… it’s just awful… bless us all on this dreadful journey… xx:two_hearts:
People can be so insensitive. My husband died unexpectedly 6 weeks ago today. I am totally bereft. Heartbroken by the loss of my soulmate of 20 years. But friends support is so variable. I have have “surprised it hit you so hard, thought you were tougher” /“did you expect him to live forever” / “will you start looking for another husband?”
@Dottie72 It another reminder of all the things our husbands did for us. I am so sorry you had a crap day. Hoping tomorrow will be a better one. Sending love xxx