This site is great no one knows who you are but people know what everyone is going through no one judges you! Take care everyone my thoughts are with you all x
8 Likes
I am so grateful for this site and everyone on it. The support and understanding is the most enormous help so thank you to each and every one of you. Jean.
11 Likes
Weâve just got to be there for each other, because until you live threw it you donât and canât understand it xxx
5 Likes
Months ago I told our son Iâd joined this site, explaining that while i recognise he and his sister have lost dad, I needed someone who actually understood what I go thru each day and I can moan & groan with others who know!!
Thanks to all here.
G. X
8 Likes
Yes its so nice to be able to talk to someone that understands what you are going through i lost my Husband 5 months ago and then found out yesterday my Auntie had passed away everyone on here has been so kind and understanding
4 Likes
it is nice to talk ,but it is a very big uphill struggle no two days are the same ,Lost my wife in July I get angry frustrated emotional ,donât sleep donât eat ,wonder from one room to another ,being a carer for my wife over the last 5yrs and work full time takes it toll, BUT if I had the chance I would do it All again The only people who can change is us
love to you all
stevexxxx
2 Likes
Dear bussteve1,
I know exactly what you mean. I cared for my husband 24/7 for eight years before he died eight years ago in 2014 and afterwards I was so lost, I did not know what to do with myself, I had no-one to take care of anymore. I donât know about you but our home had become so run down during the eight years I looked after my husband, what with paramedics coming and going, the wheelchair damaging paintwork and doors but my husband refused to let any workmen in to do jobs as he just could not cope with it. After he died, to give myself something to do, I ripped up carpets, got a decorator in and bit by bit I got our home back to what it used to be. It took me two years as I had a new bathroom installed and new central heating. It took itâs toll on me because by trying to take my mind off losing my husband I had totally shattered myself and I could not stop crying. Gradually over the following years I started to live a different life, a quiet life. I donât go out much and when I do it is nearly almost alone, I love my 60âs music and can still jive away in the back garden with my brush.
Same as you, all I want is a time machine and go back to 1964 and do it all over again.
5 Likes
Lonely
Thank you
steve xxx
2 Likes
Just been reading and catching up with these posts. I have laughed and cried while reading them. Your burger story was a tonic as the last few days have been bad ones for me and not sure why.
I thought I had turned a corner but realise I have not.
I wish I could motivate myself . I need to paint my kitchen as my lovely husband had started it but didnât get to finish it. I donât mind painting but for some reason I just canât do it. I keep hoping he will, doesnât make any sense I know as he canât possibly. He has been gone for almost five long months now and I have tried to be so positive . I have been for lunch and coffee a few times with friends but prefer to stay at home if I can. I just sit about all day and know itâs not good for my health as eating too much as well.
I think Karen said in one of her posts that she will not let grief win. I very much want to feel like that but at the moment itâs not happening.
Hugs to all xx
8 Likes
I think we all come at this at different angles we are not wallowing we are coping in our own way. Me I have renovated a cottage , never painted as many walls in my life, moved in and have the old family home on the market. However this is how I coped I never stopped, a bit worried now I have. I was also my husbands carer for about 10 yrs as he had really bad mobility issues but I accommodated this as they say in sickness and in health. My life has changed so much but I am thankful I am an independent person and dont mind my own company, but I hate evenings just cant bring myself round to settling down. Finally after 7 months I sleep better. I dont think there is a right way or a wrong way we do what is best for us as we are the one left behind. Some days I miss him so much it hurts and I don`t know why other days I smile and laugh at what we did . I do know that moving was really the best move for me. Just do what is best for you
6 Likes
@Alir
Donât forget that I have a daughter at home who needs a lot of input from me and needs taking places so I have no choice but to do things. That does help as most of us will do anything for our children so her needs force me to be busy.
It is also longer for me as Richard died last April. I hardly did anything for the first three months other than in the house and garden.
As @Heather56 says, we all have to find our own way and there is no right nor wrong.
Love
Karen xxx
5 Likes
Dear Alir,
Since my husband of 47 years died eight years ago I have put on three stone in weight by eating rubbish, so tomorrow, I have decided I am going to give myself a kick up the backside and do my Slimming World diet. I have just put in an online order for delivery in the morning.
It is a never ending life of ups and downs, some days I am absolutely fine, enjoy going out, but other days I just donât get dressed. There is no-one to see what I do but tomorrow is going to be a turning point for me. I have some lovely clothes that donât fit and I know Peter would be so sad that I have got myself into this state of affairs. I have pinned a chart on the fridge and hopefully by summer time I will once again be the slim woman I have always been. Grief takes a terrible toll on our feelings and our health, so I am going to finish off the Cadburys Cream eggs tonight then there will be no more distractions, if goodies are not in the fridge then I canât eat them. I put my dentures in the pot as I have some ulcers so I will have to suck the eggs.
9 Likes
Ahh Lonley. i wish you the very best of luck with your Slimming World diet, I am sure you will soon be fitting into the lovely clothes and your Peter will be pleased. I went shopping this morning as I had to and brought lots of fruit and also chocolate!!
I wish I could hide away some days but if I donât open my blinds in the morning my neighbour phones me. They get up very early but I donât as it makes the day longer.
Best of luck with the diet. xxx
3 Likes
Thank you Karen. I will get there eventually as am determined. Just slipping backwards at the moment.
XX
5 Likes
Had a REALLY crap day today. I WFH; in the middle of a meeting, with me talking, boom!! All power lost!?
Next thing, my house alarm is going off! I was so stressed, first because I was in a meeting, second I just didnât know what to do?! My Martin did all those thingsâŚ
Power cutâŚ
I phoned my brother, he didnât pick up, so just sat on the stairs crying my heart outâŚ
I just feel so alone & I know my Martin would be heartbroken looking at me nowâŚ
Itâs just so bloody hardâŚ
Love to you all.
Xxâ¤ď¸
7 Likes
@Dottie72
Feeling for you. Itâs such a kick in the teeth when things go wrong and our husbands would have sorted it. The pain of the loss comes flooding in and even a small problem seems overwhelming doesnât it?
Hugs
Karen xxx
5 Likes
@KarenF just so awful⌠my tears have leaked into this evening⌠itâs just awful⌠bless us all on this dreadful journey⌠xxâ:two_hearts:
6 Likes
People can be so insensitive. My husband died unexpectedly 6 weeks ago today. I am totally bereft. Heartbroken by the loss of my soulmate of 20 years. But friends support is so variable. I have have âsurprised it hit you so hard, thought you were tougherâ /âdid you expect him to live foreverâ / âwill you start looking for another husband?â
8 Likes
@Dottie72 It another reminder of all the things our husbands did for us. I am so sorry you had a crap day. Hoping tomorrow will be a better one. Sending love xxx
5 Likes