I do all of those things too @Charm, I say goodnight, sleep well and see you in the morning, (I so wish I could) I wear his jumpers despite them being too big it makes me feel he has his arms around me. I also hold my hand out in the hope he will hold it. All these things brings me comfort in these early days. I hope they bring you some comfort too. Reading posts from Sheila, Grandma and Karen and so many others gives me strength and hope that time, acceptance, and patience will help me find my way on this new path. I hope the same for you Sending love xx
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Thank you i got upset as i told her my Husband was still laughing and joking with me and his family a couple of hours before he passed away what she said really upset me she said perhaps he was frighten which did not help as i never thought of it that way now i cannot get it out of my head
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ME TOO!
I will always be married to my soulmate. He will always be my husband - that will never change I wear his wedding band to be close to him.
I kiss his photo and cwtch the urn every day - morning & night. I cry out for him, tell him how much I love him. How sorry I am I couldnât save him.
I so want there to be an afterlife. I am 56 and I donât want to die but neither do I wait another 20 years to be with him. Life without him seems so meaningless. I never anticipated being this lonely.
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That was so insensitive of her @sue11 I can see how you would be upset. It sounds as if this was just her interpretation from what you said and not your reality or memory of how it was. You hold onto those happy moments if your husband laughing and joking with you, my goodness wouldnât that be how anyone would want to spend their last hours with those we loved. Just reframe it to how it actually was and how you experienced it. Sending hugs xxxx
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@Angelalouisa
I donât know if youâve seen my previous post, if not, maybe these will give you some comfort:
You can shed a tear he is gone,
Or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and prey that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you canât see him,
Or it can be full of the love you both shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live in yesterday,
Or you can happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he has gone,
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what he would have want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
David Harkins (Silloth)
xxx
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped into the next room.
I am I and you are you
What ever we were to each other,
That, we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
Which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Prey, smile, think of me. Prey for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all it ever ment,
It is the same it ever was.
The is an absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.
xxx
I found comfort in the words of Heavens now my home.
I am sorry that I left you
I know you feel alone
God told me that He needed me
He called me to come home
And what seemed to be an instantâŚ
In the twinkling of a night
An angel gently took my hand
And let me tour the sky
As I ascended into heaven
Beyond the pearly gates
The angels were rejoicing
Then I saw His radiant face
Godâs eyes shone down upon me
From the glory of His thrown
He said" Enter into paradise coz heavenâs now your home"
I fought the fight I finished the race
Throughout the trial
I kept my faith no longer do I suffer
My bodyâs been made whole
I am flying with the angels
And heavenâs now my home
God told me not to worry
He said youâd be okay
Because eternity is forever
And weâll meet again someday
I fought the fight I finished the race
Throughout the trial kept my faith
No longer do I suffer my bodyâs
Been made whole
I am flying with the angels
And heavenâs now my home
I am flying with the angels
And my heavenâs now my home.
You can listen to these words of the song if you put Heavens Now My Home into the search engine along with comforting funeral song it will bring them up (by Libby Allan) I had the the one that shows a religious building on the first picture and the videos for 3m 49s I had this at Marks funeral I found the words so meaningful and the images as well (there is also one with a female singer if itâs a female you are grieving) I sincerely hope it will give someone some comfort, but be warned Iâm not sure you can listen to it without tears. xxx
My husband was raised as an Italian Roman Catholic. But in later life became disillusioned . He told me he believed there was nothing after this life. That thought torments me.
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@Angelalouisa
Mark threw me a curve ball just a couple of months before he died (he wasnât Iâll and died suddenly) I had always said I wasnât scared of dying as I would get to meet all my family again and Mark had always said that he didnât believe in that and when you died that was it. Then this day he said when I die I want my ashes spread somewhere peaceful (non of my family or his had had there ashes spread, so it wasnât something we did) For someone who always claimed when you died there was nothing afterwards, why say that. What Iâm trying to say if Mark who was always a non believer changed just weeks before he died, maybe your husband who had believed, just never got the chance to tell you, that he did believe again. All my love xxx
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Hi @Angelalouisa, I was brought up a Christian and when my husband died in January, I said to my friends that my comfort was in that I knew I will be with him someday. A couple of my friends have very different beliefs and told me there was no afterlife. This did upset me too, and then someone sent me this, which reinstated what I know to be true â While some believe itâs impossible to know whether there is life after death, belief in immortality is a timeless phenomenon. From the pyramids of the Egyptians to the reincarnation of New Age thinking, people of all times and places in history have believed that the human soul survives death. If there is no consciousness or laughter or regret beyond the grave, then life has fooled almost everyone from the Pharaohs of Egypt to Jesus of Nazarethâ. I hoe that this brings you some comfort and it did me. Much love xx
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Thank you. I just noticed your bio says you are in Italy. Which region?
I ask as my darling husband was Italian. VENETIAN he would shout 
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Me too. I will always say I am married.
I will remain so until my death.
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@Lonely the grandad story has just made me cry (do this a lot these days) , as i have a 20mth old granddaughter ( i look into her eyes and all is well) and the thought of leaving her and my daughter on there own makes me so sad, as worry about them daily.
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@lonely Sheila yes my granddaughter (Bella) looked up at my daughters ceiling and would point , she even seemed to be babble/ laughing and talking to someone. My wifeâs ashes are with my daughter as this helps my daughter, but also i am in the process of rebuilding the house we moved into 6mths before Linda passed. Strangely even though Bella she is so young used to look at my wifeâs photo and say ânannyâ. Once when we were out at the zoo Bella just halted walking and looked at a lady and said âhelloâ for no apparent reason, when i looked the lady was a similar height, hair colour etc to my wife, it made my daughter feel shocked and upset.
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@sandi
Thank you for this. I feel very grateful that my faith hasnât wavered since losing Richard but this is also a good reminder. The other thing I look towards is the near death experiences people tell of. When I worked in a hospital in Sheffield a patient I treated regularly for a chronic chest condition had one and told me of it. It certainly didnât sound like the end but a new beginning.
Love
Karen xxx
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@Lonely
Dear Sheila,
Your experiences are truly fascinating although Iâm not sure if Iâd like them or not. I think I may be scared like your granddaughter even though I totally believe in life after death and I also believe Richard is watching over me. I talk to him and when I went to see my Dad after he died, knowing he didnât believe in it, I said âSee, I was right wasnât I?â
Do tell us more if youâve a mind to.
Love
Karen xxx
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Hi Sheila
I have also had so many things happen since losing Brian that I know that he is somewhere near. I have not had the same experience as you regarding the bed but there have been so many more and I had no feelings one way or the other on this subject before losing Brian.
I donât find these happenings creepy or frightening. They brighten my day and make me feel really good and at peace.
Pat
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Iâm at the opposite end, Campania region. Iâve been living here for nearly thirty years but I was born and grew up in London, from Italian parents.
Lonely you sound like you had a wonderful life. Such a shame that we couldnât all meet up because I could listen to your stories all day. They make me smile so much especially when Iâm having a bad day, which is pretty much every day. Please keep telling us your stories. Sending love and hugs 
xx
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Looking after a friends little dog for a week is giving me something to do as i can take him for a walk and he is company for me
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So cute, my dog is wonderful company I talk to her all the time, much better than a counsellor
Xx
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