@Heather56 you went though so much and it’s not surprising it haunts you and that you want to save others going through the same. One day you will be able to read the results and I hope it brings you a little comfort.
Love
Karen xxx
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You are brave and I haven’t got the energy to do a move but. Sometimes fancy a change of scenery but have such fears now not like I used to.
@Lonely I was just thinking of you today as my Lilac tree has just blossomed and I was hoping that yours had too and brought fond memories of your lovely Peter. With love xxx
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@Lonely I don’t think it last too long indoors too, so it prefers to be outside to be admired and the scent is amazing. I hope its blossom lasts awhile and brings you comfort and lovely memories. xxx
Oh @Lonely that is so tragic. I am so sorry, I know how much that tree means to you. I wish you have warm days over the weekend so you can sit and admire the blooms in the vase. Your gardener was very premature with his haircut. Hugs xxx
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Oh no! @Lonely
How could he think that was the right thing to do? Who grows anything to cut off the flowers?
Sending you love xxx
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@Lonely 
how right he was.
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@Lonely I couldn’ 
t have said it any better
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I think I have been wallowing. I got through Christmas, Birthdays and Anniversaries they were sad but I coped . What I find really hard is now and the memories of the dreadful time we had last year. Him being taken away by Ambulance from a house I loved that I can now not visit, I have moved but at present I still own it. I am so lucky I was able to move back to a cottage we owned that we got married from and all it`s happy memories . All the awful memories keep flooding back I shout at them to go away. I think after this year they will become a thing my brain shuts off, just got to get over this.
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I have your young said to me (62) has that makes it ok then ! I wonder if anyone feels like his ? People moan about the dark nights but I feel when it’s sunny I get more upset because that’s when we would sit in the garden together or go somewhere. When it’s dark I can close the blinds and shut the world out .
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Well yes I am upset being reminded what we would be doing in nice weather and can’t any more
Yes I can go somewhere but I will be upset reminded of him there before and feel awful everyone staring
Perhaps I should bite the bullet and just go.
But I seem to use any excuse taking easy way out and any little thing puts me off.
Getting organised is very hard with this bereavement fog.
No good if I haven’t got what I need.
I wanted to go to the swimming pool but missed the slots.
I still feel upset every single day about my husband. I can’t help it. It was like that when I think of others in family who died. Even when I went somewhere else after my dad died and in lots ways didn’t get on I couldn’t get away from the grief and constant thinking about it. Even now I get upset at his suffering and feel so sad and how my mum died too and again we didn’t get on too well but it still hurts. My husband wouldn’t like what I eam doing at the moment moving how he had stuff. But I think I have to have it how I want it now. I used to tell him I would one day. He hated lots of flower pots and I like them.
I am getting out all the things I like he squirrelled away that are mine. I must find me. I can hear him muttering. I hope he will say it doesn’t matter now. I hope he is being kind to me. Everyone says I can have it how I want. But slowly does it. It is too upsetting keeping everything how it was as if he hasn’t gone. Some things are but gradually they won’t be. Only then can I accept what has happened that he isn’t coming back.
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Totally agree
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At the moment I don’t feel like new furniture at my age. My father did that and died soon after. I don’t seem interested enough anyway.
No one much comes and can’t say I want visitors anyway apart from family and feel want to be taken as I am.
Spose I think about painting the old stuff.
Got used to the storage although silly really need to get rid stuff.
But haven’t will yet to do so. At 78 don’t feel many years here anyway. Different ten years ago .
Not sure will be able to keep being here.
Think of all sorts options.
Like getting small place and letting this place but last time I did that years ago upset what happened to things.
Silly as only things.
Yes that must have been so hard. My husband was ill for ten or twelve years and he had his leg amputated before he died and had he not have died of a heart attack soon after he would have been in a wheelchair too. We are all different and in your shoes would feel differently and visa versa. We just do what we feel we want to do. I am 78 now and he was nearly 77 when he died six months ago. I probably will change the tatty carpets when I have any energy if I am still here. But I have covered them up for now with rugs. I just want the. To be clean so might hire a carpet cleaner service. Today I went to see my grandson play football and came home worn out in the heat. It is the anniversary of my son’s death on Tuesday but that was many years ago. I used to tart his grave up then.
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Yes sometimes think would have done things differently but hindsight is a wonderful thing. Some people say treasure the happy moments. Sometimes don’t realize they were the best times until you look back.
When we were young with no ailments and full of beans able to run with boundless energy and when we were frail and struggling along looking back. Keep thinking of how weak he was and how when I met him he could walk the length of the room on his hands with his legs in the air so strong and when I was young could dance for hours now I have to sit.
I watch my grandsons running around and see my late husband in them.
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Lonely
I so agree with you. I’d give anything to go back to spend another day with my darling husband. We can only dream now.
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Lonely
Thank you. I will look for it. What a lovely thought to go back to see your loved one.
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@Lonely That is so funny you mention that film and I am so glad you named it, I remember seeing that film years ago and it recently popped into my head thinking it would be so lovely if we could go back in time and meet our loved ones all over again. Thank you xxxx
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When we first met we’d stool dance on tall bar stools…it was so much fun …
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