Im sorry but you really dont need friends like her in your life. Ive found If anything good, comes out of me losing my wonderful husband its i truly know who my real friends are and the people i dont want wasting my time im sorry but get rid, and try and spend time with family and friends that care 
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@Mike75 Every morning I say should I cuddle you or you cuddle me, itās the best weāve got now isnāt it? I suppose weāre lucky (in a way!) I was talking to someone about a friend who is in an unhappy marriage & she said such & such would never have what we had. So yes weāve got the heartache but Iād have that every day of my life of thatās the cost for our time together. Take care xxx
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Just been up cemetery and put a red rose and valentine card on grave . Iām decided to cut my friend out of my life and if i feel like wallowing i will. Iām not hurting anyone just missing my soulmate. One day she will know what itās like. Hugs to everyone 
x
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@Misprint You are not wallowing you are remembering a loved one. Your posts made me suddenly burst into tears. Iām having to take time out. Iām bloody well not wallowing either. xx
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Bless you didnt mean to upset anyone x hugs to you 
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@Misprint Just reminded me of my own loss. Bet I wasnāt the only one. xx
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@Milliemmollie Bless you, I havenāt got any family what so ever, but reading a lot of these messages even if you have family you donāt always have the support. It is baby steps, my partner & I had worked flat out these last few years renovating houses, we had just finished the last one and started on ours. When he died (unexpectedly as he was totally fit) the house only had underlay (we had taken up the old carpet and had new underlay ready as well as new carpet ready to lay once we decorated) I should have been strong enough to decorate myself but I was not in a good place, a so call friend who is a handyman offered to decorate it (I would have preferred to get a professional in, but didnāt like to hurt his feelings) He worked Mon-Wed (arriving between 10 & 11 with at least 1 1/2 hour lunch and finishing by 3:30!) On the Thursday he was here 10 minutes and said he needed to go to A&E I asked what was wrong (chest pains, my partner had died 6 weeks early from heart attack) I asked if heād told his wife as he hadnāt I went with him (I couldnāt not go) I spent the next 8 hours looking at the door where I was told the love of my life had died AND never once did he say thank you all I got was Iāve done you a favour getting that 1st out of the way (yes, thanks for that!) There was nothing serious wrong with him, by the way. The next 3 days he was off. Mon he worked, Tues lunch he sent me a text (saying heād been called to a leaking pipe, I never saw it, when he came back, I found out later I must have said nice to see you to him.! It was horrible I was walking on eggshells in my own house. The next morning he was emulsioning down the stair & as we had no carpet down there was wooden bits with nails sticking up where your carpet is fit, he pulled his dust sheet so viscously I though he was going to pull my staircase out. I asked what was wrong, āIāll be glad when Iāve finish this ****** houseā (he lives in an identical one) I said I never thought heād be like this with me, and was told my "glad to see you"comment had annoyed him, I said Iād willing gave up 8 hours to sit in A&E as he wouldnāt tell his wife so he was not alone AND I got, well you sat in my house crying (that was the day my partner died!) I said I would pay him till the end of the hour, and to leave. It cost me Ā£500 for 3 ceilings, 5 drops of wallpaper (I had removed old paper) of which 3 are over lapping! 3 bedroom walls emulsioned as well as down stairs, 2 door & 3 wardrobe doors undercoated. Tough & expensive lesson, but it was the kick up the bum I needed. I got the rest finished. I am sure you will get there also (though I hope not as stressful as mine!) Itās certainly baby steps, but what I find hard is when you feel you are doing well, then you hit a brick wall and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it and it knocks you back, leaving you feeling a failure. Big hug xxx
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Sounds like you had a awful experience. I remember when my hubby died his friend said anything you want help with just say, well a few months later my fence blow down in wind i ask stu if he would help if i got bits that he needed he was there next day put it alright for me and wouldnt take a penny. I did give him some money as i didnt want him to think i was using him but he was gr8. Its a shame your friend wasnāt a bit more helpful. Hope your got it done now and your pleased with end result.
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Never think that you are a failure.
What shocking behaviour from the āso called friendā. Iām sure youād have thought more of him if he had been honest enough to say he couldnāt take the job on.
G. X
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Oh @Misprint , I would be so, so tempted to message that āfriendā to say :
"Iām so glad youāve shared with me that youād prefer us not to be in contact in future. Iād been thinking exactly the same thing, for different reasons, but didnāt know how to raise it so as not to hurt your feelings. "
Karma @Misprint, Karma.
Her words will come back to haunt her one day.
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@Grandma The annoying thing was that he was the one who pushed to do the work, as I said I didnāt want him, but I didnāt think I could say no, because that would have hurt his feelings. He only lives next door but one, but heās dead to me now, I will never forgive him for the āyou sat in my house cryingā comment. I am a strong believer in karma and what goes around comes around. But like I say he gave me a kick up the bum, I donāt need people like that in my life. Iāll be honest when he was shouting at me I was frightened, but in a way it was in a way a good thing he was like he was, because put simply he isnāt worth bothering about and as I said I got on and did it (I donāt think it would have been finite yet & I think he thought heād found a cashcow!) xxx
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What a scumbag of a man.
I wonder if heās a bully in the house?
Take care.
G. X
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@Grandma I donāt think so, as he & his wife are of the same mould xxx
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Iām so sorry that your friend doesnāt understand grief has no time limitā¦can I ask how long ago you lost your partner not that it matters but is she usually a friend that is so insensitive or is she normally a good friend xx
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I went on holiday with my friend 6 months after my wife died. He is married but his comment about meeting ladies on holiday was itās ok for you . Youāre single itās ok for you ! 18 months on and I still feel as if I am still married. People say some strange things but until they go through it they will never know what itās like
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@Grandma scumbag says it all. Well said.
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@Misprint
I canāt believe anyone, even if they were not a friend, would be so callous as to make some of the comments you received from this āfriend.ā As for not contacting until you are in a relationship- itās beyond belief!
Sending hugs and reassurance that you are NOT wallowing.
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@Sulane
You can do without that kind of help Iām sure. Glad you got the work done afterwards though as youāll feel better for having done it.
Sending love xxx
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I had a friend who I supported when her dad died disappear totally for 3 months as she said she āwouldnāt have been able to cope with meā. As it happens I was OK for first 3 months, my grief hit a lot later and then I was practically comatose and suicidal for 2 months. I decided I will start to put myself first this year and have blocked her as she kept i friending and refriending me on social media You donāt need friends like that when your grieving! I texted her to say I needed stable, supportive friends in my life and blocked her as I couldnāt cope with the lack of support and constant drama when I was in a very bad space myselfā¦she left a message on my answer machine saying her gran had died last week but sadly I have no more sympathy left after being treated so coldly - I feel your pain - my dad was my world - I looked after him for 4 years with Alzheimerās over lockdown and had to give my job up My world collapsed when he died as I fought so hard to keep him at home and out of the clutches of Social Servicesā¦but I wouldnāt have had it any other way Am slowly rebuilding my life now and have joined some womens groups and want to write a book about my dad and dementia as catharsis Feeling stable enough to consider going back to work, but itās been very hard to pull myself out of the dark hole - not least because my greedy brother and sister in law are wanting to put dads house on the market (my home) and wants more than half the will despite not helping at all for 4 years (he lives 2 miles away!) Grief is hard when single and lots of added stress from in laws! Thank goodness for my cat! Heās saved me! 
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