@SuzyTee That is so tragic, awful. But cherish he’s just called you his queen? There are no words that can help, but you may be following “Continuing Bonds” (as apparently I am) and in essence it is OK to accept that you can’t accept your soul mate has gone, but is still here. Stuff on the Internet if you look it up.
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@Grandma How true, and we’ll put. Yes, the mobile reception on Planet WTF is dreadful - no one seems to be able to get through to me…I must call this planet’s Vodafone to find out what is wrong with the network…
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@Lookingforhope that’s a lovely comment, thanks. Yes, I’m 6 months in, never thought I’d bother to keep going this long - and don’t expect to every get over this. Trying to focus on positive thoughts, and keep grinding out day by day on this new Planet where nothing is real, all is familiar, but not.
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@JaneyS That made me smile - Sharon would say “onedin line” then cover her ears with her hands and just make stupid sounds so she couldn’t hear me. I can see her in my mind as I write this, and it breaks my heart in pieces.
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You are so right DennisS - it is those little routines especially at the weekend that jolt the heart and cause the most pain. I hate the weekends. We would always but certain papers to do the puzzles together but now I seem to have lost the ability to derive joy from that activity. maybe it will come back but just now it is too painful.
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@FRAN22 I know, I hate weekends. I was supposed to go and see my son today, but he “forgot” to tell me that his wife’s Mum (who they already tried to get me with, which is totally disgusting) will be there - so I could put the kids to bed with her. The eldest is 5, so the grandkids would assume this is the new normal “nanny and grandad” .
How dare my son and his wife do that? Substitute someone else in what Sharon and I used to do? Do they not get how awful that is? No one will ever replace Sharon, how dare they…
So, now I’m not going - sitting alone in the kitchen with coffee, music and tears. Screw them all.
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My heart goes out to all of you. Almost in tears reading these posts. I’m with you all, I’m feeling exactly the same. I don’t know if it’s me but I get the feeling that people I know and who knew my husband, are now looking at me in a ‘strange’ way, acting strangely, as if I’m an alien from outer space! I read a quote somewhere which I agree totally with :
*If you mention my loved one’s name, I may
cry. But if you don’t t, you will break my heart. *
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DenisS your words are always so eloquent and true. You express everything I wish I could. I agree, I don’t think we will get over it. Take care xx
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That’s a beautiful quote, and so true
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Hi
Sending warm thoughts to all for some calm and peace as we try to navigate our way on this new planet in a parallel universe to our old life.
At least we have others in this planet who understand.
I, like @DennisS find myself living with Continuing Bonds with my lovely husband. How could I not? as through our love for each other we will never be apart 
x
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Hi 14 months since I moved to planet WTF . It seems to be getting harder as the time passes . I talk about my husband all the time when I’m at work. I’m sure my work colleagues think I’m mad . I’m not I’m just sad and lonely for him . I feel like I need to keep him alive in my thoughts and to remind them . I once had a happy life and a husband that loved me more than words can express . Of course I love him and miss him more and more each day . He is with me whatever I do or wherever I go and always will be . Sending love to everyone on this different planet . Xtake carex
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Wow! That is astonishing - they just don’t get this grief thing do they!! I watched a talk on ngrief last night where the speaker said that the depth of grieving is affected by how much of ypour heart the person occupies. I know it is a bit trite but it resonated with me so much. When you lose your soulmate , they are irreplaceable. As I lay beside my husband as he died I was suddenly gripped by a pain in my chest and i felt an energy (I described to my stepson who was there as an essence} pass between him and me. At that point the nurse, who was monitoring outside the room, came in to say that he was gone; his heart had stopped. Such a weird experience.
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Keep talking about your man @Broken2222.
Terry Pratchett wrote something along the lines of:
'A man cannot be dead while his name is still spoken.’
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I love that saying @Crazy_Kate
I talk to my wonderful husband all the time @Broken2222
Every morning, throughout the day and then a monologue at bedtime, looking at his photo and telling him about my day etc
Even if I’m making a decision I ask him what he thinks and I know he will help ‘influence’ my decision. I also say ‘I know you’ll let me know if you don’t think it’s right’ then I follow my gut.
I’ve done this since he passed suddenly 6 mth ago and heartbroken and devastated as I am, It helps me get by enormously.
I bring his name into conversations with family and friends too
We all cope differently I know.
Sending caring thoughts to you all x
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I am really struggling so bad how do I deal with this life without my Michael I lost him in April this year suddenly aged 53 we we’re together 40 years I don’t want to feel this pain any more my heart is broken so badly I just want to be with him more than ever 
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Your post made me smile @JlovesR. D’you know, I even answer sometimes for my husband. I say out loud what I think he might have said and then I smile. 
If anyone could hear me they’d call for the men in white coats…
As you say, it helps. x
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Ahh I’m so glad it made you smile @Crazy_Kate 
as we definitely don’t smile as often as we used to do we ? 
Nothing wrong with that! I’m the same in the garden then I notice a neighbours window open and hope they haven’t heard me!
I also tell my husband things I’ve done and say ‘I know you’ll have heard/seen that but I’m telling you anyway’…he always used to say I talk a lot!! x
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@Solost those last few words sum it up.
And the other for me is: “if you look at my face and think I’m OK, you don’t know me at all”…
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@Lookingforhope I’m glad it helps. I find writing what I feel helps me understand - because I’m so confused by all this and nothing makes sense.
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