Two weeks of widowhood.

Well, the car has gone - money in my account, so a bit sad to see the empty space on the drive - but pleased it’s now done. That will now pay for the funeral costs. It’s given me a bit of a lift funnily enough. Now to tell DVLA and insurance company. Unfortunately as Mary had an argument with a concrete post in September, I’ll likely still have to pay the full year’s insurance as that was repaired through a claim while she was in hospital.

Mary loved butterflies, and we have several metal ones on our fence here and we also have a wall collage of them here and in France. They’re all staying where they are! I found a rather lovely little butterfly on a stake, for putting into the ground at the grave. It reads “Our love will always remain, your beautiful soul will shine in my heart forever.”, and I’m going to put that with her before I go away. I also found the original flower holder, from her parents time, which can be pushed into the ground, so I’ll put the flowers into that as well. That was, of course, after I’d bought new ones! I could return them but I think I’ll use one for each of the three of them in the same grave. Hopefully, by using them, rather than the current broken vase, the the flowers won’t then blow over/away while I’m not here.

It’s my eldest grandson’s 22nd birthday while I’m away, and he had a very special relationship with his “Nana”. They often went out for meals and to the cinema together - just the two of them - not even me! I’ll have to leave his card and gift with his mum I think.

I wish I could stop all the Valentine’s day adverts coming up and all those for cremations and funeral plans etc!

Thanks all for your concern about my cough and catarrh. Now that I’m up and about, it seems much better than even yesterday. If it’s still troubling me later today I’ll speak to the GP. I do have a full course of antibiotics here, and would just seek their OK to take them.

Much love to you all. Nigel xxx

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Yes Peaches I agree too much for an old lady like me, I had my daughter’s dog for 3 months while they were in Miami, not for a holiday but my grandson was having an brain AVM removed, long story short nobody here would operate and he was having severe daily migraines it was heartbreaking to witness that was in 2023 too so it was a horrendous year all round xxx
But even Luna a cockapoo could take me near off my feet :joy:

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You will get there in plenty of time, your more than half way there with the room just wallpapering and new carpet, you’ve done amazing in a short time up to now xxx

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Nigel we will have everything crossed for the care sale!
A doctor’s visit might be better than pharmacist, did you have that flulike bug cause I did and I too am still coughing, after I had covid the cough lasted over a yr so I do wonder if that flu I had was covid cause, who knows !!!

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Nigel, The butterfly on a stake sounds lovely do you mind me asking where you got that, probably a small independent shop ?

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Debsie, I’m coming down to where you live, it’s been horrible here heavy rain and windy and cold. I went out to the garage to look for a tray for the paint, I ordered a new one but it’s not here yet. Anyway I opened the freezer to take something out for dinner and lo and behold, the freezer was switched off. I think we showed the guy the scroll saw working and must have unplugged it. Luckily I only had about six dinners in it. It must have been Sunday so I might be able to eat a few of them as they were still cold but not frozen. Will throw the others out. Won’t risk keeping them for a few days.

If you like mashed potato I’d make a bag of them and freeze them in portions. I love mash, this gadget is great. Lakeland has one called a Masha.

I’m amazed I’m not tired yet, might do the dump run just now, rain has eased off. Hate the thought of my car full of bags. Bit of OCD in me. Need to wait an hour before I can paint again. Walls looking much better now.

Enjoy your sunshine and walk xxx

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Nigel, great news about the car, you can now sort out all the others things to do with the car.
I agree about all the adverts for funerals and Valentine’s Day, last year I was given a white teddy holding a red heart saying I love you. I honestly thought it was a bit naff lol but when I look at it now, I love it, it’s on the shelve on my bed.
I hate hate hate those funeral insurances and plans on tv, they are so wooden. I’m cringing at the thought of them. What day do you leave for France? Look forward to hearing all about your journey.
Take care xxx

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Georgi, yes you are right, I am half way there with the room, I’m pleased with what I’ve achieved. Next door is still up for sale, they usually go really quickly as there are not a lot of bungalows about here. Their garden needs a lot of money spent on it so I’m wondering if that’s putting people off it. Massive wall needs taken down and rebuilt.
Off to the dump now, my life is so exciting :rofl: xxx

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Lizzy it was Lakeland we bought ours xx

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I got it on Amazon Georgi. Quite plain but beautiful too, I think.

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Georgi, no I didn’t have any flu like symptoms, More like a heavy cold, but no sneezing either. I have always suffered from sinusitis, and have had nasal operations in the past. But I’ll see how I am later and if necessary see the GP. We know each other pretty well from my volunteering as a Community Champion, from Covid days to now. So I know I’ll get to speak to him even if there are no appointments - particularly as he knows I’m going away already.

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That’s the one I’ve got Lizzie - not cheap but amazing - also available on Amazon as are other less expensive makes!

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Lizzy, So pleased about the car. It was just sitting there costing me money as I didn’t really enjoy driving it, but Mary did.

I’ve got so many soft toys in the house I could start a shop! I think a few need to go but there are a couple Mary especially liked, so they’ll be staying, including an Andrex puppy!

I’m off early Saturday morning (8th Feb) and will arrive at the house on the Sunday afternoon/evening. That’ll be a strange day - it’s the 40th anniversary of our first ‘date’. (Watch out for a possible poem that day!) I can set up the car I bought in September to warn me when I’ve driven long enough, so that will help me take breaks. I’ll be checking in here of course and will update you lovely people as I can. (Signal and wifi permitting).

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Also just received a slate heart, saying ‘Mary’s favourite place’ plus my normal message to her on every card or present for 40 years - ‘I love you, now and forever.’ That’s for hanging on the house balcony in France which looks out over the hills and valleys!

Despite everything, I’m determined to enjoy this (DIY filled) break! I’m sure there’ll be some tears but hopefully not too many and pray that I can just remember all the good times we’ve had there.

Much love everyone. Nigel xxx

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I have been feeling a bit restless of late and think its time for me to start doing things. Two of my sons bought me a keyboard for Christmas as I had always wanted to learn the piano. Today I downloaded an app and had my first lesson. Played a snippet of ode to joy with one hand. Its a start and I think I will enjoy using my brain again. I will try and do a bit each day. I hope I get on ok and that there is still a brain in there somewhere.

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Nigel I am going to my sons on Saturday. Nervous about the drive but I will be staying over for the night. My first night away. Hopefully we will both be ok.

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Hi Debsie. I was just wondering what the app is called as I’d like to re-learn the piano, and I have a lovely Yamaha digital piano here. I learnt to Grade 8 as a child, and I guess it might be like riding a bike - you never fully forget.

Just take your time driving - it’s everyone else on the road that is the idiot! You’ll do just fine.

First night away - yes that’ll be strange I guess. Although I’ve done this trip alone many times, there was always Mary at the other end or coming soon afterwards. I think this will be a big step for both of us - but we can do this! I’m probably more nervous of the people at the other end - all of whom know about Mary, and probably now know that I’m going down next weekend. What’s the betting one of the first things they say, after the condolences, is “are you keeping the house here in France”!

Nigel xxx

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Yay! Woke to the sound of a reciprocating saw and a barking dog. The fence men were supposed to arrive around 10, but were here at 8:30. By the time I got downstairs, they had already taken most of the fence down. FAST!

Nigel - I am glad to read that the car was sold and has been taken away by the new owners! It is a milestone. I know it is hard to see it not there anymore, but sometimes we have to do the responsible thing even when it is tough. You have done so well with this. It really is just a car, a thing, and things just do not matter anymore. The new owners will enjoy it and it pleases Mary that it is no longer a burden to you and is being happily driven by someone else.

I don’t know what the laws are where you live, however I don’t think you have to pay insurance on a car you no longer own. (I am almost 100% on this) This should be universal and I am pretty sure that you are due a refund of a portion of the payment. The contract of insurance is to protect you from damages resulting from a car you own, when the object is no longer yours, the insurance contract is worthless and payment of something not owed. Get your refund. Call the insurer today.

There is a very nasty bug going around here. Two friends have suffered it for months. It lingers forever. One has been ill since October, now just coming around and still coughing. The other since Thanksgiving in November and still down and out with coughing, weakness and short of breath. Get thee to thy physician!

Lovely butterfly post.

Lizzy! I once did the same with a freezer. Long story short, we were in Canada hunting geese, my husband was called to London to testify in a Lloyd’s of London maritime case, so I dropped him off at an airport in Wyoming (US state bordering Canada) and drove home alone - from the Canadian border to the Gulf of America (formerly Gulf of Mexico). Well, not completely alone, I had 2 huge ice chests full of frozen geese for which I had to make stops along the way for dry ice.

When I got home, I put them in the outdoor freezer. It was September 10. I woke to the terrorist attack on the twin towers of New York and was glued to the television, thinking we had been bombed and were at war. I gathered up a few things and went to stay with a friend in the countryside as my husband’s return was delayed several days due to the attack.

When I returned, the freezer was leaking bloody water. The freezer had been unplugged as it was not in use and all the geese were defrosted and decaying. ICK, ICK, ICK!

So sorry that Valentine’s Day is sad for you all. We never paid much attention to it, we weren’t particularly romantic I suppose. Kinda like we had already said yes to being each other’s lifelong Valentine.

The men are already gone as well as the fence and gates and there are 2 new posts in setting concrete. Less than 2 hours. Fast work. I see no lumber for the new one, but perhaps they are waiting for the concrete to harden. PITA as now The Beast can not be let out without me and a leash.

Step by step. If I had a magic wand it would all be done, but I must have tossed it in the purge. Tried a nose twitch like Samantha in “Bewitched” but alas, nothing.

Funny about advertisements. My mail is from children’s hospitals looking for donations. My husband requested donations to a children’s hospital instead of flowers at his wake. I notified the hospital and they must send our names to every one in the nation. Also, lots of advanced funeral planning brochures, invites to dinner to listen to financial planners, important notices about expiring vehicle warranties, and catalogs for clothing that one needs way up north but not here and, of course, bills.

Soon to the car wash then gas station for fuel. May only get fuel done before hair. Whatever. Just going with the flow and the flow is slow today.

Hope this day is marvelous in some way for everyone and there is something to celebrate, however small.

Love

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I love that Nigel I’m having one of those for sure, thank you xxx

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My keyboard came with a link for a month free trial with simply piano. I have no idea how much it will cost after the trial. My son recommended youcision, he learnt guitar with that. It’s probably a bit basic for you. I had piano lessons at 8 which was a very long time ago. Had violin lessons too at 10, can’t remember a thing.

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