Debsie,
I found it really hard when I stayed away, I didn’t want to be in my house and when I did, I wanted home.
I’m in bed early, we had a busy day and I fell asleep watching Tv, packed them off to bed at 10pm, they are absolutely no bother and I will miss them, Emily goes home to her mums tomorrow at lunchtime and my daughter won’t be home till late tomorrow night so I am staying one more night albeit I will be back in a single bed. We will be up early again as I promised them they could go swimming in morning if we time the buses right. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep on couch tonight, I will regret it. I hope you feel a bit better. When I travelled to work early in morning, I used to cut my journey into three in my head, one was the horrible country road, I sighed with relief when I finished on that one, next was the busiest motorway going through the city, the next one I kept saying that’s two thirds done, I’m nearly there but it was challenging as they had major road works on the third motorway. I was shattered when I got to work, headache every time. Can you maybe have a few stops for a coffee, cut your journey like I did although I know all you will want is to get home. You are very brave, I wish I could do it, if I move I will have to do that journey but it will be for the last time, I will never come back here.
Hope you manage to get some sleep which may also help your headache.
Take care xxx
Whenever he was in hospital and had an operation, he would always give me his ring to where. And when he came round, he would take it from my finger and kiss it and put it on his finger again.
When he died, I didn’t know what to do. But I decided that if I get that piece of him with me until we were back together eternally that would be the right thing.
So I’ve had it resized so it won’t fall off my hand and I had both our rings inscribed inside.
Went out for a lovely birthday meal for my daughter’s 18. My parents came and despite my exhaustion, we really had a good evening.
Later it was just nice to sit on the sofa and laugh and laugh at Michael McIntyre with my daughter. It’s good to laugh.
Well done, Nigel. I’m not sure that I would have that courage to go abroad on my own. Somebody said to me go on a holiday on your road do something exciting. I want to do anything on my own.
Peaches,
Glad you got you AC working again, we don’t have AC here, way too cold, we would feel like you if our heating broke down.
Biscuits are different to crackers, we have crackers with cheese, biscuits could be like your cookies, sweet. I do prefer mine covered in chocolate though. Can’t have tea without a chocolate biscuit.
You are ultra organised, well done, that’s another thing ticked off your list.
Hoping to get to sleep now, I hope you have a great meal, enjoy xxx
Somebody said to me go on a holiday on your own do something exciting. And I thought I don’t want to do anything on my own. But I know I’m not brave enough. You’ve been amazing.
Peaches keep that praying going because my back is starting to feel better. I’m gonna pray that it continues to improve because taking that one thing out makes the other things seem a whole lot more manageable.
Chose some pictures of myself and my husband to put up in the lounge. He was a dreadful romantic. So there’s a picture of the place we got married and a painting of Avignon where he took me on holiday. There is a star chart of the stars over Aldeburgh in Suffolk of the exact time and place where we had our first dinner date. And we honeymoon in the Netherlands. For our first wedding anniversary, which is paper, he had a painting from the Netherlands shipped over; not in the last house move, but in the one prior to that, the removal men damaged the painting quite badly. It was already damaged because when it was brought over from the Netherlands, the customs office had cut a square in the package, presumably to check it wasn’t drugs, And they made a mark on the painting. But I still loved it so much we still had it on our wall. we asked around and the restoration of it was going to be three times the cost of the painting, but I’m still thinking about doing it now because it means so much more if that’s possible.
Nigel,
Things can only get better now. I’d stay put safely in your room, at least you have a few things to keep you going.
I remember we had to go to this city in Turkey to get a form stamped and my husband didn’t do well on the two hour bus journey so we decided to find a hotel. The only one we could find was a bit grotty but we were getting desperate as it was late. Basic was an understatement, we saw a shop from the hotel window and picked up a few snacks as I didn’t want to wander around, didn’t feel safe. We managed to get a bottle of wine only to find we couldn’t open it, no corkscrew. We got up early in morning and the dining room was like an old school classroom, small tables set out like a classroom and it was all men. A tv was on in the middle of the room. Breakfast was only bread, tomato and cucumber. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I was starving, you have a feast before you, just dream of all the nice French food you will be eating very soon, the sunshine will hopefully come out and you will be in your home again.
Hope you also manage to get some sleep, I don’t think you will be the only one not sleeping tonight.
Take care and safe journey in the morning. Xxx
Debsie, it’s really hard being away on one’s own isn’t it. I didn’t realise quite how hard though. We must have made this journey together at least 150 times, plus a few on my own, with Mary following by plane. I’m like you with my kids, but sometimes I just can’t hold back, and we end up in a big hug!
KtG, I wear my ring - it wouldn’t come off now anyway without cutting it! Mary lost several rings when she left them in a hotel, so bought one new ring with the insurance. That’s on the chain round my neck, that she bought, along with an “N” and a St Christopher. I found a small enamel ring with tiny “x”s all round it, which look like kisses, and I also found her mother’s wedding ring. They’re so tiny they fit my little finger so wear them both on my right hand. Mary’s won’t even go on my finger at all. What you did with yours sounds a lovely idea. And yes, it’s good to laugh, and also to celebrate special events like an 18th! We were up the Social Club for my daughter’s brother-in-law law’s birthday on Friday, about 20 of us, and all the photos have been WhatsApped around. Lovely memories - so glad I’ve many of this with Mary in them too. I’m glad I’m doing this trip now, in a way, but it certainly isn’t easy!
It’s nice to put pictures up. I’ve put some of Mary and me, us both with our best friends, and just of Mary, all in matching sizes and frames.
Lizzy, kissing his ring isn’t weird at all to me. I’ve a beautiful picture of Mary as the main photo on my phone screen, that I took last year in a restaurant here in Orleans. At least once a day I kiss that photo and tell her how much I love and miss her. We’d always have a kiss and say that first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
Yes, I did stay in the room, and breakfast will be good, hopefully, as they normally are here in France. Love that story of the hotel in Turkey. We did the same with wine once, but managed to find one in the hotel bar. I guess there wasn’t a bar for you that day! You’ve painted a lovely picture of what I’m hoping things will be like for the next two weeks. Not sure how much will be French cooking though, as I’m probably doing most of the meals myself. I wonder if there is a French cookbook in the house? Most probably! I can always go online.
As you see, wide awake at midnight UK time!
Sorry Peaches, I went to bed before your message, and I’m afraid I didn’t go out. It was all just too much. Now awake at past midnight UK time, 1.00 am France time! As Lizzy said, they were sweet biscuits - your cookies - rather than crackers, for cheese, although there is a box of those as well! They’re the one’s left over from the wake. Glad your AC is fixed. I’d hate to be in this hotel in the summer, there is no AC here! Opening windows just lets more heat in.
I won’t have the pleasure of sending money to beneficiaries, there’s only me, but my 4 kids will get 1/4 share of everything when I’m gone. Does paying off the bank loan for the car count though?
When the girl in the shop asked me if I’d had a good Christmas I probably shouldn’t have said not really, I just lost my wife. I probably completely messed up her day!
Once again, thank you all. I now feel bright and cheerful. The question is, do I post my poem for the 40th anniversary of our first date? Maybe, but it makes me cry. I posted one yesterday on Facebook for my good work friend who died in 2020. That one was funny and sad in different places. I guess the 40th one is too.
Much love. Nigel xxx
Debsie, it’s really hard being away on one’s own isn’t it. I didn’t realise quite how hard though. We must have made this journey together at least 150 times, plus a few on my own, with Mary following by plane. I’m like you with my kids, but sometimes I just can’t hold back, and we end up in a big hug!
KtG, I wear my ring - it wouldn’t come off now anyway without cutting it! Mary lost several rings when she left them in a hotel, so bought one new ring with the insurance. That’s on the chain round my neck, that she bought, along with an “N” and a St Christopher. I found a small enamel ring with tiny “x”s all round it, which look like kisses, and I also found her mother’s wedding ring. They’re so tiny they fit my little finger so wear them both on my right hand. Mary’s won’t even go on my finger at all. What you did with yours sounds a lovely idea. And yes, it’s good to laugh, and also to celebrate special events like an 18th! We were up the Social Club for my daughter’s brother-in-law law’s birthday on Friday, about 20 of us, and all the photos have been WhatsApped around. Lovely memories - so glad I’ve many of this with Mary in them too. I’m glad I’m doing this trip now, in a way, but it certainly isn’t easy!
It’s nice to put pictures up. I’ve put some of Mary and me, us both with our best friends, and just of Mary, all in matching sizes and frames.
Lizzy, kissing his ring isn’t weird at all to me. I’ve a beautiful picture of Mary as the main photo on my phone screen, that I took last year in a restaurant here in Orleans. At least once a day I kiss that photo and tell her how much I love and miss her. We’d always have a kiss and say that first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
Yes, I did stay in the room, and breakfast will be good, hopefully, as they normally are here in France. Love that story of the hotel in Turkey. We did the same with wine once, but managed to find a corkscrew in the hotel bar. I guess there wasn’t a bar for you that day! You’ve painted a lovely picture of what I’m hoping things will be like for the next two weeks. Not sure how much will be French cooking though, as I’m probably doing most of the meals myself. I wonder if there is a French cookbook in the house? Most probably! I can always go online.
As you see, wide awake at midnight UK time!
Sorry Peaches, I went to bed before your message, and I’m afraid I didn’t go out. It was all just too much. Now awake at past midnight UK time, 1.00 am France time! As Lizzy said, they were sweet biscuits - your cookies - rather than crackers, for cheese, although there is a box of those as well! They’re the one’s left over from the wake. Glad your AC is fixed. I’d hate to be in this hotel in the summer, there is no AC here! Opening windows just lets more heat in.
I won’t have the pleasure of sending money to beneficiaries, there’s only me, but my 4 kids will get 1/4 share of everything when I’m gone. Does paying off the bank loan for the car count though?
When the girl in the shop asked me if I’d had a good Christmas I probably shouldn’t have said not really, I just lost my wife. I probably completely messed up her day!
Once again, thank you all. I now feel bright and cheerful. The question is, do I post my poem for the 40th anniversary of our first date? Maybe, but it makes me cry. I posted one yesterday on Facebook for my good work friend who died in 2020. That one was funny and sad in different places. I guess the 40th one is too.
Much love. Nigel xxx
KtG, I am praying for you right now. Honey, don’t repair that painting/print. It survived a couple of moves and got a little banged up - so did we, but we are still beautiful and full of memories.
I get rid of things that bring bad or sad memories of any time in my life.
Honey, you do not have to travel alone, there are travel groups for single people and while you can, go! I am 100% sure that your daughter will be happy to take vacations too. It’s not over until it’s over.
I bought 6 ionic air purifiers from an ad on FB. They are small and cheap. I have 4 on the second floor and 2 in my bedroom. I’ll let you know if I can tell a difference in the sneezing and dust flying through the air.
I can not believe it myself, but the dining room table and kitchen counter tops are cleared. They were piled high with stuff I just couldn’t motivate to organize and put away. I can see most of my desk top. Nothing got shoved somewhere to just get it out of the way, I actually put it all where it belongs. If I can just maintain until I get a housekeeper or a team or whatever it takes.
The car mechanic called, he didn’t forget about me, he is just super busy, but will get here Monday or Tuesday. My Darling Mechanic. 
So sweet. Second generation in that shop. Good men.
Lizzy, okay. I got it. Biscuits are cookies! What are your favorites? My friend’s mom ate nothing but chocolate and drank scotch for supper every night, but she had 5 kids in a row and every one of them are exceptional people. She lived to be 93. Never gained a pound from her weight at age 21.
Nigel, absolutely paying off the car note counts! Good job! Whew! Debt free is good. Sorry your hotel is nasty. I stayed in some real doozies on a pilgrimage to Lourdes. I never recovered from the hammock-shaped mattresses and the rock hard pillows in the heat. There was another nightmare on our way to Canada, but catered to hunters and their dogs, so I didn’t expect much.
You have driven a good while, rest up and get a nice hot breakfast somewhere. Fuel up and scoot. Drive safely, don’t let the French drivers intimidate you. Do you find it hard to switch from UK left hand forward lanes and French right hand lanes?
The Mexican food and restaurant was a huge disappointment. I have read such good reviews from people I know. They must go there drunk already. Awful. Barely edible and the service was like walking into someone’s living room and they were all waking from a nap. But, they couldn’t add or use the machine, so they mistakenly charged us half. Their loss. Never going back.
Oh well, it was nice to get out and to chat with my Sis-in-law for a bit. Even if the best thing we had were Diet Cokes and tortilla chips with queso.
Robots run, fresh sheets, laundry hung, whites in wash, boxed up the nativity figures and put them away. Made decisions on 5 “to go” things and took them downstairs. Starting to look like a house where a sane person lives again. She doesn’t, but it looks like it - almost.
Struggling for normal one step at a time. A hair ball just rolled past in the arctic blast from the A/C. The robots are so tired, they are sleeping now. I am wide awake. Manic.
After days of blah, I had energy today. Most likely because it isn’t 85 degrees on the second floor and 89 degrees in my bedroom. We had snow on January 22. It’s 85 in the day now. This is exactly why the city and its people are psycho.
My husband did his own laundry (fishing clothes) one time in his life and broke the lint catcher, so I have to drag the dryer out of a very tight space, where I have to squeeze behind the dryer and wrestle one of those slinky like pipes. electric cord hanging over my head. I will take the phone with.
Feeling pretty good tonight. I have a big surge of “I can do this!”.
Love to all.
Nigel, you did not ruin the shop keeper’s day. Doesn’t it feel good to tell the truth, even if to strangers?
Hugs.
Peaches, Apart from your rotten meal, you are on the up, getting organised like crazy. It does feel good doesn’t it.
I actually have a sweet tooth, I love baking, haven’t done too much lately as I would need to freeze most of it. Love gingerbread or sticky toffee pudding. My fave biscuit if I can pick one is a chocolate tea cake, I stayed quite near the factory that made them, I can still smell the caramel from it when I passed it. It a biscuit at the bottom then a dome shape filled with soft marsh mallow covered with chocolate. I also like a Kit Kat, a chocolate covered wafer. Well I stupidly asked the grandchildren where they wanted to go for lunch and they both said McDonalds, I had a children’s Happy Meal complete with a toy for the dog. They had a triple cheeseburger adult meal then we all had a Milky Way McFlurry. Not my best idea for lunch but they enjoyed it. One more day of activities then I’m back home to clear out again. I have enjoyed the break but need to get home now. Xxx
Nigel I imagine you will have had your breakfast, I’m a big fan of French breakfasts, all those lovely pastries yummy. I could eat that just now. I’m still in bed, all quiet in house, everyone still sleeping which is unusual. I had my usual broken sleep, this room way too warm and I like being warm but it’s too much.
Feeling a bit sad as it’s my 12th Wedding Anniversary today, not as long as yours but still sad. We had a lovely wedding in a small country club hotel. Only close friends and family were there and we had a beautiful day. My husband had in own clan tartan kilt on and looked very smart in it. Over the years he had put weight on and his kilt didn’t fit him but with his surgery etc he was so delighted with the weight loss that he fitted into his kilt before he died.
That was a goal of his to get into that kilt, he tried it on regularly and he did it.
I in tears now, hope they don’t come in and see the tears as I did say we would have to get up early to go swimming.
Need to pull myself together, I’m glad I’m not in my own house today, will keep busy.
You have a safe journey, you are on the final, stretch, you will be home soon.
Take care xxx
Debsie
Hope you managed to get some sleep, it’s difficult, I still wake up and wonder where I am, I won’t sleep well in the single bed tonight after this comfy one and I have the en suite as well so I don’t feel like I will disturb anyone if I get up.
You can do this Debsie, get in the car, music on, and stop for a break or two, you will be so proud and happy that you have done this, albeit shattered but you can rest when you get home. Have your Cherry Brandy as a treat.
Safe journey home xxx
Lizzy I used to love a Tunnocks caramel wafer, delicious ! The teacakes my husband loved xxx
Glad to hear you have had a lovely weekend xxx
Peaches are those ionic purifiers small plug in ones? Cause I also bought 4 that would be quite a coincidence if they are !
I bought mainly cause my bedrooms face the road and I live in town busy with traffic and have my windows open most of day and it gets quite dusty in those 2 rooms ( I think they do help or am I just convincing myself) and the other is for kitchen and living room as cat uses a litter tray and it definitely helps with the cat smells !
Ive been lying here in my bed reading all the posts, had a terrible night just couldn’t sleep, tossed & turned till 5 in the morning, read my book and put it down several times to try and sleep without success but hey ho its becoming the norm !
Nigel safe journey on the next part of your trip xxx
Lizzy glad to hear your having a good weekend with your grandchildren, you will miss them when you go home xxx
Lizzy, I think we must be sisters. The drive here is 75 miles. The first 50 are easy on the A14 and M6. I am saying to myself that 2/33rds 66%. Then I’m looking at the time saying 30mins/20mins/10mins you will be through it. When I was 12 miles away, I was thinking I could walk that. How silly we are. Last night, I was feeling unwell and tired and really nervous about going back, but I slept well and feel better today. Once I get through the town I will be ok and that won’t be that ling. And Tunnock teacakes my absolute favourite. Could eat the whole box. Do like a custard cream, golden cruch or mcvities digestive to dunk.
Peaches you are making us feel inadequate. Are you taking something because if so, i need it.
Nigel, you are doing well. The first time is the hardest, especially on your own. I read something the other day about answers to how you are. It was so true but also funny, if only we could say them. Will try and find it later.
I will shock you to tell you i only wore my rings when I went out. It’s a long story. My husband never had a ring, he didn’t wear any jewellery. I will still put my rings on when I dress up, though. I accidentally threw my engagement ring away about 15 years ago, which was in an empty tissue box. We bought another in an antique shop for only £100 and i love it.
KtG I always wear my rings only take the ones with stones off to shower, my husband lost his wedding band years ago and we never got round to replacing it but he did have a ring with a diamond in it that I now wear on my right hand I had it altered, he had other rings but before he passed he gave one to our eldest grandson and one to our other grandson who was only 6 at the time but I keep that one safe for him till he is older xxx
Oh Debsie custard creams and chocolate digestive were my husbands favourite along with tunnocks teacakes xxx
Not sure why my post added twice when I was editing it! Just stopped just after Limoges for fuel - me and car - and at McDonalds having a McExtreme meal. Don’t think they have those in the UK, but it’s a double large burger with cheese, bacon and pickles. Sauce going everywhere! This is a usual stop for us and it’s always clean with good service to your table.
Still a long way to get home but should make it easily in daylight. I can’t answer you all here on my phone, but thanks for supporting messages.
So far it’s been a pretty good day. I was listening to music from my phone and there was a 30 minute track of my father telling my sister all about his life as a child and young adult before the Second World War. Really good and funny too. He confirmed we were once rich farmers in East Anglia, but kept watching cricket in the summer - so much so that the farming business went bust and they lost all the money!
It’s good to see a defibrillator on the wall in here.
I’ll be back on later to read, digest and reply. Love you all. N xxx
So going with the peaches Dixon Modi operandus re dealing with stuff (5 things at a time) - I should like to cordially announce that I have finally finished unpacking my bedroom!
And last night, my daughter helped me finish the last couple of boxes in the lounge. Well, apart from the ones that came off the bookcase that I wish I hadn’t got rid of!! But I may be able to weed down my books. Trouble is, I love them too much.
Both teens still in bed asleep. Suspect they were up late watching things. But given that I moved house without them and that they didn’t really get much opportunity to help choose the house I just want them to feel safe and happy and home.
I also slept to an astonishing 10 am! So pot calling kettle black? I was awake for about an hour in the middle of the night. But I do feel refreshed today in a way I haven’t felt all week. And my mini electric blanket has arrived, which is doing my back the world of good.
I also had some problems with editing my writing the other day. And with an odd Double post.
Good to hear that your journey is progressing well Nigel. Drive safe I know my son would have loved to join you with that lunch lunch you were describing.
I wonder where in East Anglia?
Weather here turned mild. The wood at the end of the road is covered in beautiful snowdrops…
A14 bane of my life! Which section are you on? Safe careful driving today ladies. I reckon once you’ve done the first drive, you’ll feel much more confident for another time.
Lizzie, I do hope you have a day with happiness and tears that is properly reminiscent of your wedding anniversary
I’m glad to hear you’re not on your own. I’m sure your family will take time to share memories.
Tell us something special about your wedding day.
By accident, I sent my mother-in-law brother-in-law and sister-in-law to the wrong venue and our wedding was terribly delayed and then very rushed. 
