Lizzy anniversaries are so hard they bring tears but also smiles thinking back to the actual day, and it’s good you’re not at home on your own today, it helps to have company. Take care Lizzy xxx
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Debsie, I didn’t think anyone would know what a Tunnocks tea cake was, love the caramel wafers as well. There is a Tunnocks bakery in the town I’m hoping to move to and it has its own shop selling all the produce from the factory. At Christmas they have special hampers.
Our minds are defo on the same wavelength lol, anyone would think I’m mad doing that to journeys cutting them up into sections, it just shows how uncomfortable we are when driving. But if it gets us there, who cares 
.
Take care xx
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What aout a Carmel Log not everyone’s taste though. 
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Ktg doesn’t a good nights sleep make all the difference. So glad you are getting there with all the sorting. You have done amazingly, buying a new home and moving whilst dealing with all this grief, and children to worry about.
My garden has loads of snowdrops and they are a favourite for both of us. It does rather make me sad to see them though knowing he will never see them again. He loved nature so much and its hard for me to enjoy these things alone.
I live in St Neots so a few miles up the A1 and I join the A14 at Huntingdon all the way to the M6 then up the M6 and turn off at Coventry. Son lives midway between Leamington Spa and Warwick. It is a lovely area there, both towns great to visit and you can walk to either from his house. St neots used to be a lovely market town but now its had so many houses built, and most shops are shut just coffee shops, nail bars and barbers now. Not worth visiting at all.
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A tunnocks hamper sounds fantastic. We have a Hotel Chocolate in our town with a shop attached, they sometimes sell off stuff that is going out of date but would love to swap you.
I hope you feel ok with the anniversary. We never really celebrated ours but I have no idea how I will feel. I still feel married so perhaps I should buy myself something saphire as it is our 45th in May. He is still my husband and I am still his wife, in my head anyway. Drive back was ok but my back was hurting and leg was cramping, how do all these people drive. Its truly horrid. I will have to get Davids car washed this week. If he was with me today he would be out there washing it now. He hated a dirty car. I am going to see my little granddaughter instead, plenty of time to wash the car.
Enjoy the rest of the day with the kiddies.
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Here is the thing I saw online. It made me smile just imagining saying these things but so many are true for me.
“How Are You?”
“I’m shattered, thanks, how are you?”
“I walk aimlessly through the rooms of my house, but what have you been up to?”
“I’ve woken up in the middle of the last 365 nights in a heart-pounding sweat, what’s new with you?”
“I sometimes wish I would never wake up, have you been on vacation this year?”
“I ache for the arms of my loved one to hold me tight, how’s your family?”
“I feel empty and useless and creepy and mundane, seen any good movies lately?”
“I’m terrified that I’ll feel this way forever, I like that sweater you’re wearing.”
“I keep seeing his body on the hospital gurney, don’t you love this weather.”
“My broken heart is in my throat, let’s do lunch.”
"I’m so completely and utterly tired of being sad, thanks, how are you?”
Gary Sturgis - Surviving Grief
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I grew up in Huntingdon!!
Well as a teenager.
Do the A14 a lot as my daughter is in Loughborough and my son in Nottingham
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Arrived half an hour ago - it’s freezing! 9 degrees Celsius all through the house! Brrr!
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I love reading about all the forward momentum everyone is experiencing. We have each come far from the paralyzing start of this new life.
Yes, these ionic air purifiers are small, 7" high and 2.5" round and must be plugged into a socket. I don’t know if they work, but after 16 hours of turning them on, I woke without a stuffy nose. The name is Labcharge. Also, not sneezing at my desk which usually happens and my sinuses aren’t running. I’ll give it a few days and if they are making a noticeable difference, I will order 6 more and buy a set for my brother’s wife who is plagued with allergies - happy birthday! $150 for 6, on sale.
Slept for 4 hours and woke rested. Sometimes a solid 4 is better than interrupted 8.
Time to return to the man cave and get to tossing and sorting more.
Probably will watch the Super Bowl. President Trump is arriving today! If I knew when, I would stand on the side of the road and wave, blowing kisses at his motorcade.
Don’t know if y’all have heard, but Elon Musk has been appointed to head a new government department - Department of Government Efficiency. He and his brilliant young tech crew has uncovered one billion dollars a day in wasteful government spending and haven’t even started on the big programs. There are actually people protesting him. He intends to find 2 trillion in waste.
Lovely sunny day.
Lizzy, when with Romans, eat what Romans eat? After 10 days on a tour of France and eating some gosh awful meals, we ended up at a church that was near a McDonald’s. Four of us paid the bus driver to take us there where we spent every last Euro we had to gobble down a pile of Micky D’s. In fact, on every trip to France, the best meals I had were at Micky D’s. But, they were budget group trips and the meals provided were awful. One night we were served fish. It had a sticky, pink and green sheen to it. Um, no. One night we got an open cheese omelet that was covered in raw egg whites. Um, no.
Love
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Ktg, We had a few funny things that happened on the day, one in particular was at the actually ceremony. We had a humanist ceremony with the quaich (Scottish loving cup) it should have been whisky in it but as I’m not a fan we decided to put gin and tonic in it. When the ceremony started she told me they didn’t bring the tonic and did I want to stop it for a minute, I said no just carry on, I will sip it slowly. We both held the cup, I took a sip of neat gin then I held it while he drank the rest. We couldn’t stop sniggering. Later on that night as he was going round the tables to talk to quests, he put his hand on the edge of one of the tables and the whole table collapsed, he had red wine all over him. The hotel did pay to get his kilt cleaned. It was a lovely day, most of my friends stayed the night, next morning it had snowed heavily, luckily the hotel had a snow plough and cleared the road for us to get on our way. We went away for a few days as I was working, the things that went wrong on that holiday is a story for another day.
Needless to say our marriage was the best,
Happy memories. Xxx
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Silverfox, yes I love them as well, there are not many biscuits I don’t like now that I come to think about it. I survived a month eating only biscuits after my husband died, very unhealthy but I couldn’t eat food till after the funeral and it took a month for that to happen. Even now I pick at food, although with watching the grandchildren this weekend I did let him pick what he wanted for dinner. As we went another mini shopping trip he said McDonalds again. I didn’t get a Happy Meal this time but tried a BBQ stack which sounded similar to what Nigel had, it was two burgers, lettuce, tomato, bacon mayo & bbq sauce and yes it all oozed out, it was too much for me but it was tasty. That will be me for months before I go into McDonalds again. I’m not a fan of burgers believe it or not.
Take care xxx
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Debsie, I’m so glad you got home ok, I wish I could take a driving pill that would help you drive. My daughter said take some lessons but I know that would not help. I’ve done it before.
I am absolutely shattered, it’s been ongoing all weekend, I’ve enjoyed it, but will be glad to get back and start sorting stuff out again. I’ve been doing housework for them and three loads of washing as I noticed all the school wear in the basket needing to be washed.
My car is filthy as well with all the horrible weather we have been having, I need a window cleaner as well as I can’t see out mine. I hope I don’t miss him tomorrow. I should be home around 11am.
Get the cherry brandy poured and chill for the rest of the night xxx
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Oh my!!!
I love cherry brandy xxx
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Wood burner on - so will get warmer now. Pyro-Mary would be proud of me as the firelighters were not good and no kindling!!! Ended up using a blow lamp! (Yes I’ve got one here and in the UK before anyone asks!)
Peaches. I need to clear my worktops etc when I get home, and the dining room and sewing room etc etc etc! I suppose the hotel itself was OK - but no nearby facilities. Not staying there again. I used cruise control for the first time and have now got used to it. It does make for easier driving on motorways. Can you get a new lint catcher online?
Yes it is good to be honest rather than always saying you’re ‘good’ or ‘OK’!
Good grief Peaches those meals you had in France sound gross! The McDonalds in France are much better than in the UK.
Lizzy. What child, given the option. wouldn’t choose McDonalds?
Yes the breakfast was good, but I could have done with a hot meal. hence the early stop at McD’s. I often set my SatNav to where I will need fuel, as then the journey seems short er. I did take the wrong turning (well the SatNav did) and ended up going through Paris. Not nice. I think I forgot to set the route to Orleans via Rouen.
The burger today wasn’t quite like the BBQ Stack - but I love that one in the UK. It was the one I had before the recent concert I went to. Top dollar! Ooh and Cherry Brandy - yes please - one of Mary’s favourites too! None here though - it’s now on the shopping list for tomorrow.
Silverfox - can’t understand all the Scottish names for things - but I’m learning!
Georgi. Today’s trip was good, as not too many lorries on the road as it’s a weekend.
Today’s my ‘first date’ anniversary which is why I travelled so that I wasn’t in either house for the full day. Played music literally all the way from 9.00am to 6 .00 pm! Two of the last ones were The Everly Brothers ‘All I have to do is dream’ and Michael Jackson ‘Smile’ . So I did both!
Debsie. Ooh. Golden Crunch. Yum! After my initial sleepless bit, I did sleep well last night, which was just as well with the drive today. I still feel married Debsie, no one can take that away from us. You should see my car - it’s white, well it should be, but it’s filthy. Glad I didn’t wash it before coming here.
I love that online bit you found - I’m taking a copy!
KtG. I need deal with Mary’s books - mine are pretty much all reference books, but most of hers are religious. I’ll keep a couple of interesting ones, but don’t know who would want the rest. The church hasn’t room for them. Some are really expensive, from the USA, and I’ll try eBay for them.
The burger WAS good - just so messy.
My family hails from Glemsford, as far back as 1575. We have a full family tree from then until the present day, and I’ve just joined Ancestry to update all my tree, and I’ll also do Mary’s as she’d wanted to do that for some time. My cousin in Cork is a genealogist and put a lot of Mary’s together for her a few years ago.
Lovely to see your snowdrops. My daughter just phoned me - surprise surprise - NOT! She’s so good.
My story from my wedding to Mary in 1989 is that the wedding was on the day of the Hillsborough disaster, which meant it was a sad and happy day. Also my aunt got a taxi from Norfolk to the wedding in Sidcup, and the reception venue in Dartford, then the cab waited while we had the the reception and then drove her home to Norfolk. That bust have been quite a tab on the meter!
It’s now over 16 degrees C in the kitchen and the house is just a little warmer than it was. As soon as the water is hot in the kitchen I can turn that off and put the electric heaters on elsewhere. It’ll blow the main fuse if I try to put everything on at once. Then I must eat. I wonder what’s in the larder?
Enjoy the rest of the day everyone. Much love. Nigel xxx
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silverfox they’re not a favourite but a do like them not had one in yrs though xxx
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Oh Peaches the fish and eggs sounded gross!!
I think the government in this country need an Elon Musk to weed out all the wastage in our government in fact we also need a Donald Trump, tho think I said that previously!
Yes those are the ionic purifiers I bought, I’m convinced they work, I also found them on facebook !!!
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Ktg what I want to know is did your in laws forgive you? We hoped our son would choose Loughborough university for his course as it was so easy for us to get to but he ended up choosing Bath. That was a nightmare journey but Bath is beautiful. Loughborough university is huge!
Lizzy my son is trying to get me to get a new car with all the extras on to make it easier. Some even park for you. I may do but I don’t like feeling pressured into making decisions. His wife even messaged the breeder where they got their dog to ask if she had any puppies. I only said it might be an idea to get a dog. They have 2 litters but I am not ready to make these decisions yet. I don’t like bourbon biscuits or anything coffee.
Nigel, I hope you have a nice cozy evening toasting your love. She is with you in your heart. I may well have that cherry brandy.
I have seen both my other sons this afternoon and all 3 grandchildren, and the trip must have done me good as I was so much more patient. Apparently my eldest grandson who is 5 is worried about me living on my own. My son said I might get a cat and he said that would be good or I could get another granddad. Bless him. My other grandson who is 2 was playing with an aeroplane. I explained that it was his grandads when he was little and he kept saying that all the time he was here, never letting it go. It saddens me that he won’t remember his grandad.
I have only been to France once. Wasn’t overly impressed with the food and the toilets can be horrendous. Some that we used in this little French town I will never forget. And they called themselves civilised. One lot had the loo roll outside the cubicle. You have to decide beforehand how much you need.
I will look at those ionic purifiers. My youngest son gets bad hay fever and something is setting him off at the moment. It might be dust as I suspect he has been doing a lot of cleaning before my visit. I don’t trust any politicians. They all lie, they will say whatever gets them a vote. I despair with the world and try not to think of what my grandchildren will have to live through.
Story from my wedding is it was 1980, not as swanky as today’s weddings. My husband used to have an identity bracelet which was the fashion. I always wore it and forgot to take it off for the wedding. You can see it in the photos. I have no idea what happened to it. At the reception the chair broke that my nan sat on and she ended up on the floor. I tipped a cup of tea down my dress. My in-laws were supposed to be doing the food for the evening disco. I got changed at home into my dancing gear and we went to pick up the food at my husbands home to take to the venue we had hired and they hadn’t done it. So on my wedding day I was buttering French sticks. Our wedding night was in my single bed and the next day we drove down to Cornwall. Nothing booked, just found a B&B. I hated it and burst into tears, the next day we found somewhere else. After 4 days the car was making a terrible noise so we came home and found a motorway that had been built after our out of date map had been drawn. It made the journey back much easier. We stayed with his parents for 2 weeks until we got our flat ready. No tv, no washing machine, I don’t expect the youngsters today could believe that. I had no nerves on my wedding day I just wanted to spend my life with him. Shame that won’t happen.
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So, it’s a bit like Old Mother Hubbard! The cupboard was bare - except for baked beans and spaghetti hoops. But I’ve no bread, or butter, so I’m having to defrost some spag bol sauce from August, and cook some spaghetti! Ah well.
I hope you all have a bit of a laugh (and maybe a few tears) at our family since Mary’s and my first ‘date’, 40 years ago today. (we were nicknamed The Walton’s by our kid’s friends) This is all true.
When friends became lovers - 9 February 1985
Forty years ago, I asked you to a party.
We were only friends, nothing less and nothing more,
but we hadn’t got a clue, what fate had set in store.
It was forty years ago, you came into my heart.
Forty years ago, you decided you would stay.
That date became OUR date – our future had just started.
It snowed that night. Trees were pretty, so nice.
You walked up the path, in your high heeled shoes,
but you didn’t complain, despite all the ice.
We had a great time, we danced for a bit,
your blue eyes lit up - did I kiss you? Not sure,
but all too soon, we’d to head for the door.
I took you straight home, to your Mum and your Dad.
Wonder what Dad thought, you, out with this lad,
but he didn’t say much, as he welcomed us back.
By the end of that spring, we were more than good friends,
we were friends as before, but now we were lovers.
No more were we lonely, we’d found each other.
We knew not long on, we’d be better together.
That meant us all, now nicknamed “The Waltons”,
that’s us, all four kids, your Dad and your Mother.
We sold both our houses, we needed one, bigger.
We looked all around and found one to build on,
it wasn’t that big, just two bedrooms, much smaller.
So eight of us lived, in that much smaller house,
‘till we’d built the extension, that was much better.
We now had six bedrooms - oh so much bigger.
We all had such fun, us, the kids, Dad and Mum.
We’d laugh and we’d bicker, but that didn’t matter,
we made up so quickly, sooner, not latter.
The girls and the boys went to work or to uni,
they came home and married, and had their own children.
We stayed here so long, Mum and Dad have passed on,
and then there were two, that’s just me and you.
We wanted to stay here, for ever and ever,
but God has his plans, He wanted you nearer.
He took you away, what more can I say, than,
“I love you my darling, now and for ever” and
there won’t be one day, I won’t say, “I love you”.
He took you to Heaven, He wanted you there
as an angel of God. That doesn’t seem odd,
‘cos you were my angel, for nigh forty years.
I think of you there, I sometimes just stare
at the ground at your grave, you shouldn’t be there.
You should be with me, the kids and grandchildren.
Singing in Heaven, not at choir seems unfair
but what can I do, when God wants you there,
he wants a new angel, one with fair hair.
I’d call you my ‘sweetheart’, or ‘darling’ or ‘love’.
You always loved me and your Franciscan Church,
and you’d never leave either of us in the lurch.
So what do we do? we really miss you, and
I’m sure I say that, for your friends in the choir,
your family and friends, wherever they are.
So now you have gone, it’s the end of your stay
on this mortal earth, what more can I say?
Today the kids called, it was just for a chat,
they always called you, but I’d have to do.
So, au revoir Mary, I won’t say goodbye,
goodbye is too final, au revoir seems just right.
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Hold back on rush decisions take a step back think about the commitment. 
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Debsie
That one was for you. !!!
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