That is a super photo Littleburty, you look so happy xxx
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We have all felt like that Phil, honestly its perfectly normal, your missing the person you have spent your life with, had children with and you always will miss her but over time you learn how to cope with it, just you and your kids lean on each other for now, you all need each other xxx
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1999 and we were slap-happy drunk by the time the photographer came around at the end of dinner. I was trying to keep my eyes open for once as all photos of me are with them closed. The flash hurts my eyes. Pretty sure we were smoking cigars too.
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What’s the story of the rhino?
Well, it has been busy in here today! I’ve got to read the news a bit at a time to catch up. 
Nigel, I know I don’t have to tell you because you are accustomed to cold weather, but if you put a blanket or two under your sheet, it will help you stay cozy. I can not believe you are cooking such a fancy meal, it is wonderful. Good on you! No Jim Beam, but you’re in France. Absinthe? I hope your Sunday lunch was fun.
Now that I read this, I am happy we didn’t buy a vacation home. Taking care of one is more than enough for me.
silver, I would love to sit for a long criminal trial. I could use a sequester. LOL
Lizzy, yes, it was a fabulous trip. I know the anxiety of uncertainty, it is horrible. I am terrified of the tax people. They will shut us down in a heartbeat. Good on the 5 bags! I think your husband was showing SIL where the good stuff was. I have to look up grout reviver.
Georgi, I want nothing to do with plumbing. That’s Lizzy specialty. I had one dream of my husband and I was screaming at him over something and that never happened either. But, you may be feeling very vulnerable, as you would as a young mom with a new baby, and he is not here.
Nigel, you are not outside in the snow in a tee-shirt and Mary in short sleeves! Haha! Cute.
Lizzy, when selling and alone, carry your key fob. Anything odd, set the car alarm off.
Still running the robots. I am amazed at how much stuff is vacuumed each time. Sometimes twice a day. Zero effort on my part. The ionizers are great. Still clear sinuses and no post-nasal drip.
Learned that my aunt is on her deathbed, small ruptured, inoperable aneurysm. Her children and in laws children are with her.
Took The Beast for a 3 mile walk which took 2 hours because I stopped to chat with a man I see all the time rolling down the street in his mobility scooter and at the grocery store. Nice man. Fun to talk to. New acquaintance now.
The first 2 miles were great, then it rained for the next mile -in the dark - and stopped when I got home. Of course!
Walking The Beast has improved one million percent already. It’s the collar. No pulling. Even in the rain and soaking wet, it was a nice walk.
Worked on taxes. Clueless. I have no idea on some things.
My mechanic called, he is coming tomorrow in the morning.
Except for tax papers spread on the dining room table, this place is looking like someone who gives a damn lives here. My desk is clear and dusted.
Tomorrow is 21 weeks. I have come a looooonnnnnggggg way. There is hope, y’all. We really can pull this together. Maybe not as fast as we would like, but it is all coming together. The fog is clearing a little.
Love
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Phil, I am very sorry your wife died. It is an Earth shattering experience as everyone here will tell you. I am so sorry you are a member of this stupid club that no one asks to join and which no one can quit.
There is nothing you need to do for now except pay the bills, feed yourself, the kids, the pets and rest as much as you can. Make a list of 5 things you must do each day, do them and mark them of the list. It is a visual reminder that you are not standing still or forgetting to do things.
You are in a fog, confused, sad, depressed, angry, scared, unable to make sentences, no appetite, sleepless, anxious, worried, nauseous, sobbing, painful chest, walking in circles, brain racing with thoughts? We know. We’ve all been there, some are still.
Hour by hour is how you make it. Step by tiny step 5 things at a time. 5 minutes at a time.
You will adapt, it is a miserable and painful process, but you will adapt. Heck, our life as we knew it is over and the future we thought we would have will never be. We have to find ourselves and get used to being a single person.
Hugs.
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Peaches,
You have been busy again today, I think I’ve come down a gear just now. I had a good day until I sat down and relaxed. Then the tears started just out the blue, I hate being on my own.
I think the lovely young couple that are next door to me must be watching out for me. I met him coming out his house, he asked me if I had people buying stuff tonight, we both have Ring doorbells and watch what’s going on around our houses. I did have my phone in my pocket, the Ring doorbell app was up and ready if anything dodgy happened, it has an alarm that I can press and it’s right above the garage door. It’s loud. Still didn’t like doing it but two men came, bought stuff and away they went. I
asked my lovely neighbour if he would like anything from garage to help himself. He said he doesn’t have room, his lovely partner has just bought a 16 foot Kayak and all her outdoor stuff are in the garage. His little tool bag is in the house, the garage is hers. Clever girl or perhaps the pair of them are mad going out in our freezing weather. But it was nice knowing he was watching out for me, even offered to take my bin out the front for me.
All the tv channels I have and there was nothing I could find to watch, I think that’s why I got so emotional tonight. I’m finding it hard sitting doing nothing.
Grout reviver is like a white pen that you go round the grout, it makes it like new again. I didn’t know anything like that existed, I can’t even remember where I found it, it just appeared, so thought I can use it.
I bought a fleecy blanket for under the sheet in the bed, it’s a game changer, so cosy.
That and my furry hot water bottle works wonders, it’s still warm even 5 hours later. I should be sleeping but wakened after a few hours, going to read my boring book and try and get a few more hours.
Take care xxxx
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I love reading about the boring stuff on here. The day to day things that we couldn’t contemplate doing in the early days. I’m at a funny stage. I’m restless. I am wanting to move forward but I am scared. I want to do 'something ’ but don’t want to do anything. No further forward with the campervan. My sons, in-laws are meant to be taking the task on but haven’t as yet. As they are sort of family I don’t want to upset them but I could ask elsewhere. Just want something to happen. My husbands friend is sorting out the motorbike but he has gone quiet. He had an offer which is below what I wanted but would probably take, but he wanted to try and see if he could get more.
After a good weekend I had a bad day yesterday. Little sleep, migraine and bad tummy took me right down. I slept well last night so hoping today will be better. I have enquired about volunteering at the nearby visitor centre. I have an appointment next week to talk with someone.
I’m thinking about getting the cats. It would be nice to have another living thing in the house. Peaches I’m glad the beast is manageable now. You must feel good with your walks. Have you done the gym yet? My son wants me to get a dog but I feel its a big commitment. Not sure I could do that. I get sent pictures of puppies that will be available. People talk to you when you walk a dog, I don’t always want to talk to people though.
The piano playing is not easy. Maybe I’m too old to learn. I hope not. Nigel its good you did it when younger.
Lizzy I always hated selling anything from home even with my husband here. If the doorbell rang it was his job to answer whoever it was. The trouble is if it was someone selling something he was too nice to just say no and would be ages. I know you have a lot to navigate with your planned house move but it gives you purpose. That is what I’m missing. I sometimes think I may move in the future. This house is too big but at least I know its well maintained.
Making decisions is so hard. I was never good at it and even worse now I’m alone. Still have tears each day. Today before I even got out of bed, listening on the radio that it was a year since Steve Wright died. We were shocked he died so suddenly at a young 69. I wish now that David got to 69. Lizzy I have been watching old Midsomer murders. Not too complicated. Gone off quiz shows, I can’t concentrate.
Here’s to a good day. So fed up with the dreary weather. What I would give for a bit of sunshine.
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Debsie, Good morning
My husband was exactly the same, I never answered the door, he always jumped up and got it, he did most of the talking as well. It’s hard having to do these things all by myself, I hate it but I’m pushing myself all the time.
In Turkey he tried to speak a little Turkish, he would start a conversation with a neighbour and I knew it wouldn’t last as they spoke too fast for him. But he did try even when he was learning to speak again after his surgery. I had to do all the speaking for him for a while till he got used to his new speaking valve. But once he mastered it, there was no stopping him, I was always watching and listening as I knew when people couldn’t understand what he said. He was a talker, this was the most invasive thing that could have happened to him. I take my hat off to him as he was coping really well.
I honestly think I would be in a deep depression if I hadn’t made up my mind to move. I still don’t know how I’m going to manage it, it does worry me as houses are so expensive where I want to go to. I look every day but none are coming onto the market, maybe they are all waiting for me. They are also going 20-30k over the asking price which is worrying me as well. I wish I had a crystal ball.
A wee dog would be really good company, I might consider one depending where I move to.
Well I’m about to go into the loft, maybe fill two bags of junk from there and do three in the man cave today. Then I’m sprucing the bathroom up today. I really hate going in the loft, but I need to.
My son has only been to see me once since all this happened, bit disappointing but I guess he doesn’t live near and he works away most of the week. I don’t know what I’d do without my daughter and SIL. She is a bit disappointed that I’m not moving beside her, but it will be much the same as here, I want to be nearer my friends, I will be about the same distance from her as I am here, just the opposite direction but no country roads.
Right I’m stalling, time to get my phone and go up the dreaded ladder.
Have a nice day xxx
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Debsie, I’m so sorry you had a bad day yesterday, I really hope today is better for you. I too slept well last night but got too hot in a fleecy ‘nightgown’ sort of thing I found in the wardrobe - I felt a bit like Wee Willy Winky - all I needed was a candle! I’ve been approached to do some voluntary work, and am seeing the person about this as soon as I get home. I’m not sure whether I’m quite ready for that yet, but I’ll see.
I always said no to a cat or a dog but I now get what you are saying about company. My kids would be astounded if I did get one - but it wouldn’t be a dog, as I can’t do with clearing up street mess. Don’t get me wrong I love dogs, and my daughter next door is getting one as soon as her extension is finished. I’ve said hello to a lot of people outdoors walking their dogs recently - and the dogs are the initial talking point. I might get back to my litter picking though to get me out walking and to get more exercise.
Starting to learn the piano isn’t easy and my teacher said that learning the scales, chords and arpeggios are key. I’m lucky to be able to read music - but even many famous songwriters couldn’t do that! Maybe I ought to get out the keyboard I’ve got here?
I do agree that having something specific to do helps - I’m quite happy here when doing the DIY work, or even cooking, but find watching TV like Countdown, University Challenge and Mastermind, like we used to, is just no fun anymore.
We always said to each other that Mary’s mum died young at 79, so 76 for Mary was more than a bit of a shock.
It’s grey, wet and cold here again today, which doesn’t help - even snow would be preferable!
Have a good day. Nigel xxx
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Take care in the loft Lizzy - glad you’re taking your phone!
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KtG Peaches mentioned the Rhino a couple of days ago. This is what she said.
“It is a photo of the male rhino my husband darted so it could be moved to where the girls are. I was shading his eyes from the sun after he was knocked out by the dart. While snoozing, he also had a vet check, some anti-parasitics and blood work done. Then the anti-dote and he woke up and we all scooted.”
So all for a good cause and not hunting!
Peaches - we have fleecy mattress toppers under the sheet and an electric underblanket as well. Last night I tried a fleecy gown I found in the wardrobe which must have been a present to Mary I think as it’s never been worn, and isn’t something she would have bought. I must have looked very fetching in that!
I do so enjoy cooking which I guess is just as well, and they are really easy to cook, when you have the right herbs, etc. I think Absinthe is like Pastis, and that was certainly on the menu as an aperitive! Sunday lunch is not till next weekend, so I’ll let you know how it goes. We’ve never even had a drink together before, so it will be interesting anyway. I’ve been in their house before as it’s had 4 owners since we bought in 2005.
We just went onto our balcony for the photograph, and I’m not even sure who took the picture - one of our family I guess but it will have been a tad chilly, that’s for sure. The resulting photo was worth it I think.
I’m really sorry to hear about your Aunt, but glad her family can be with her. I think that was something my children were also grateful for, even though their partners and their children couldn’t be there as well.
Stopping and talking to that man will probably have meant a lot to him too. and what goes round comes round. Is it worth getting a tax adviser to do the tax stuff? They might even be able to save you some tax!
I hope tomorrow goes OK for you (or is that today now?)
Much love. Nigel xxx
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@Lizzy28
I love grout reviver… “Tippex for tiles”. Used it when I re-did the shower room, makes such a difference so easily.
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Lizzy. Grout reviver is brilliant isn’t it? I’ll need that in the shower when I’ve traced this leak. It’s good your to-do list is getting shorter - everywhere I look mine is getting longer it seems! But at the moment it’s just the essentials, meaning just the shower room, the rest can wait a bit. The dinner was really nice, and although I was going to make it do two meals - it didn’t. All gone in one meal, never mind it was all good home cooked food and I skipped the cheese. I’m probably having spaghetti Bolognese tonight as Mary cooked a number of meals to put in the freezer in August.
Nigel xxx
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Georgi, I’ve come across an old Bible with a section in the middle for recording family history, so I’m going to add as much as I can so that the grandchildren, and children possibly, have that for the future.
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Lizzy glad the sale was straight forward for you, always a worry doing that, especially when the evenings are dark ! Thats nice to know your neighbour is looking out for, knowing that makes you feel more secure xx
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Thats a good idea Nigel xx
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Cant believe you ate the lot Nigel, who am I kidding I would have done that too, hence I have put on weight, I am trying to be good though but its not easy xxx
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Comfort eating I call it xx
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