I googled widow grief forum or something and this came up, I looked at it and thought 'better than nothing" which is what I had.
The first post got a response that let me know I was not losing my mind. I was amazed that other people experienced the same things - men and women from all different places. I depend on it now to discuss this life because no one else wants to hear it. I don’t blame them, I wish I didn’t have to talk about it all. So I do it here.
Much love.
I’m so pleased you had a “good day” we certainly need them and well done for going. The weather here is howling with wind and rain and something in the garden has been banging all night, I’m wondering do I get up and go and see what it is or stay in my bed, it’s 6.25am, I’ve been wakened for ages. Might go and make a hot chocolate and eat a biscuit, the banging is starting to annoy me and I can’t see where it’s coming from. I don’t feel so bad now that I got rid of the ship in bottle, not only that it had gin in it, I poured it into a glass but honestly it tasted horrible so it went down the drain as well. I hope you have another good day xxx
What was making all that noise, Lizzy?
Bye, bye ship in a bottle!
Bye, bye ugly art work!
Slept over 8 hours last night. The dinner party gave me a re-set. Maybe? Whatever, it did me a world of good. Normalcy feels great. Hope it lasts.
I highly recommend going to all the holiday gatherings. Get the hugs and kisses and enjoy the company of friends and family. It is uplifting, not sad.
Much love.
Thats very true xxx
That’s so good to hear, I hope it continues on the road to some normality in your life. I’ve still no idea what the noise as last night but there was a storm during the night but it has gone now. I have a few things planned next month so will keep pushing myself to go. You have given me hope xxx
Woke up dizzy, seeing double, shaking, and sweating profusely. Went down to the cold tile floor to keep from falling. Stayed there a while, then crawled to the couch, vomited, dry heaves, and then slept for 4 hours. I feel just awful, exactly like a long night out drinking excessively and suffering a hangover the next morning. However, I no longer drink alcoholic beverages. WTH?
Feeling so sorry for myself because as I lay sweating on the floor it occurred to me that there is no one here in case I have an emergency. Wow.
Then I thought “I need to update my will”.
This will be a sofa and bed day.
@PeachesDixon
Oh heck Peaches, really sorry to hear you are sick. You’re right it’s scary on your own.
I think your 5 things today are: stay hydrated, rest, sleep, rest sleep!
Look after yourself. We’ll all be willing you better.
I really hope it isn’t serious and you get well soon, the whole being on your own thing hits when you get ill, I went to the dentist for a removal and the molar broke in half, need to go for surgery next thurs to sort it out, it hit me that I have no one at home to care and help, even just a hug for comfort, life has changed so much, I was there for Trudy all the way through the cancer and made sure that she didn’t have to worry about things, now I have no one to return the favour. Once again get well soon
How are you feeling now? Take care
Sarie, Atrum, and Mbg, thank you for the well wishes. Feeling slightly better, still wobbly and dizzy.
Need to train my dog to fetch a telephone. (J/K) It is a little unnerving to be on the floor dizzy and seeing double with no way to reach out to anyone.
Any suggestions? We all need to get this one figured out. It could happen to us all.
Freezing now. Back to blankets for the day.
Much love.
Hi , I hope you are feeling better now, it is very scary being on your own especially when you are not well. I take my phone everywhere, especially into the bathroom, it’s like my shadow. I am scared being on my own, Not seen anyone today, my daughter texted me to see if I’m ok, but honestly how many times do we lie, I’m fine, no point in having them worry, in fact everyone thinks I’m fine when I’m having a bad night, cant stop crying kinda night, you take care, get well quickly and be kind to yourself xx
I suffer with Vertigo and I am terrified I will have a really bad episode with it. I can deal with coughs and colds. Things that make me feel dizzy or odd, are bloody frightening. Even tummy upsets and sweats can be scarey. I take the phone in the bathroom with me, basically it is never far from me. Living alone has made me feel very vulnerable
My husband was at every appointment with me when I went through cancer treatment and I was with him throughout his treatment. This year has been appointments every few weeks and now I have none with him. I’m going for an appointment next week and I will have to go myself. It’s all so scary. Wish there was a wee group that we could help each other out with things like that, nice thought but probably none of us live near each other. We will be thinking about you at your appointment, sending hugs xx
Anyone living alone when ill is a worry. I worry when my youngest son is ill and he is only 30. My husband became ill and died in 24 hours with a chest infection and sepsis. Now every time a family member gets a cold I worry. I am now worrying about you Peaches, I do hope you have someone that can be there for you. My daughter in law even suggested I got an alarm. I’m only 64! But when you lose a loved one so quickly and unexpected it makes you terrified that it can happen to anybody at anytime. Get well soon Peaches and everyone keep you phones close by.
I barely carry my phone now. Usually it needs a charge. Another change to make; one of so many.
When I left the house, my husband always knew where I was going. Now, no one knows where I am. Just another thought that popped up.
9 weeks today.
I am in great health, really. All vitals are always good and blood work perfect. This came from nowhere. Still woozy, nauseous and a headache. On couch all day, wrapped in blankets and there was not one thing on the gazillion TV channels that I wanted to watch. Everything is so trite and dull.
Now, getting the succession paperwork completed seems most important as does creating my new will. Seriously. what if?
Tons of worry on me now. Not about me, about leaving all this to someone else to sort. Never thought of it before.
I hate this whole widow thing. I want someone to come in and take over everything and do it all for me so I can run away.
It must get better. It must.
@PeachesDixon
Agree, I hate this whole widow thing too!
I got tripped up with a question about who is my next of kin… have no kids for that.
I am in the process of revising my will, so much more complex now.
Hope some rest helps you recover.
@Debsie1
Agree about phones. And yes don’t feel old enough for an alarm!
Here’s another option for you to think about… a smart watch.
Hubby and I had only just got smart watches a month or so before he died. He’d been due to have a major eye op and would have needed eye drops every 2 hours so I wanted an easy way to set alarms (was already doing drops 6 times a day). We only got ones that are linked to our phones but don’t act as a phone on their own. I’m wondering if I should change but that would mean two phone contracts. But with my current one as long as my phone is on the WiFi in the house somewhere I could theoretically (!) talk to my watch to send a message.
That threw me as well, I have no direct family or any children, my wife’s family will have to be used, still haven’t sorted it out, might just leave everything to the nieces and nephews but still doesn’t sort next of kin
That’s a good point. No idea who the NoK is now. Either the cat, or husband’s niece/nephew…
How are you today?