Unfortunately the law here states you can’t disinherit your children and even if they are not in the will they can still claim. She didn’t even come to the funeral, such a spiteful person, I’ve never ever met her and my husband wanted nothing to do with her either. All it’s doing is giving me stress I don’t need. Hope you have a good sleep, I slept good last night, staying at my daughters again. Hugs xx
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Omg!! Wow, I can’t believe that a long lost daughter could have a claim on your late husbands estate. Do you have children? What an awful worry for you. Hugs
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Sorry just seen you have a daughter. I have been a foster carer for many years. Some grandparents of the children I have looked after, haven’t wanted their children to inherit. They have been advised to just leave a token amount. The laws surrounding inheritance need to be updated. X
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Hi, yes I have a son and daughter but not with my husband. I’ve never met his two children as they cut themselves off from him at a very young age after they split up. It was very sad, he did try but they ignored him. He treated my family like they were his and was the best Grandpa ever. It was their loss and I hope they now regret it.
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I totally agree with you on the Law, it sucks and giving me a lot of worry. It’s all complicated as we also have a property abroad which we did make a will and gave the lawyer power of attorney but now that this daughter has put a spoke in the wheel, this is making it complicated and also costing me a lot more. She now writes to my lawyer asking for copies of the Will and Confirmation that the house is in my name. I honestly don’t know how she could do this, she lives in a massive house has a big fancy car and clearly doesn’t need the money. It makes me so sad that someone could be so heartless and greedy. Xx
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That is shocking. If she requires something from your solicitor, she should pay for their time. In years to come, with so many blended families with step children, half siblings, it will become an even bigger minefield. Xx
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Lizzy, when up against a greedy interloper, fight dirty. I would hide everything not specifically listed in the will. There would be no movable assets for her to claim.
Box up his miscellaneous things that were going to thrift, leave it on the porch, tell her to come get it. “Here are his assets, you greedy hog”.
What percentage of moveable assets is she legally entitled to claim? She can’t pick and choose which of the assets she wants, so pack up that percentage of his movables - clothes, shoes, tools, books, magazines, etc.
Surely, she must also account for any time and money your lawyer spends dealing with her BS. No free ride on your dime here.
I am upset for you. She is hateful and I would be spitting mad too.
Much love.
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8 weeks today, and I think this the the worse day yet. I’m sure it’s because I only had 3 hours sleep and have a cold, but seriously struggling to cope. Had to sort out the pond today, and it didn’t seem that the pond pump was working. I had no idea how the power worked or the timer and I really needed him to help me. Then my son said he will be getting his office back which will mean he no longer needs to work from my spare room. Him being here most days was saving me but now I will be all alone. I’m getting really panicky. Please let tomorrow be a better day. Just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Sorry for the self pity, but yes I am feeling sorry for myself. Need to find some strength from somewhere.
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Hi Debsie, I hope you are ok, I’ve had so many days like that, I only had a few hours sleep on Thursday night, woke up with a headache that didn’t lift. I was so stressed I’ve been staying with my daughter for a few days, need to go home tomorrow. I’m so lonely being on my own and going into an empty house just makes me cry. My daughter took me out for a meal then a panto, it took a lot of effort trying not to spoil a day out with the grandchildren. Everyone is so happy and thinks you are ok again, I’m 8 weeks in today as well. Today was a bit better than Thursday night. I was like you, wishing I wouldn’t wake up, I honestly don’t know where we get the strength to carry on but we do. It must get better sometime in the future, I think it’s getting worse because of Christmas coming up. I don’t know how I will cope waking up on Christmas morning on my own, I thought of treating myself and buying something nice to open. Is that sad? I’m going to my daughters for a meal and I will hopefully cope, my grandchildren will help. Please keep chatting to us on here, we will help you get through this together. Take care and sending hugs xx
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Hi, I told my lawyer not to just give her a copy of the Will. If she wants it she can pay for it through the courts as seemingly anyone can get a copy but they have to pay. I’m not giving her anything I don’t have to. Xx
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She is looking for money and valuable jewellery. She obviously didn’t know her dad very well as he wasn’t a materialistic person, he would be happy with a fake Rolex. The only other jewellery he had was what I bought him, his wedding ring which he cherished because we got them made abroad were exactly the same and she is not getting that. That will not be in my house. The money in his account is different as she could get a percentage of that. I’m not giving up easily on that as I’m not wealthy by any means and need every penny I can get especially if I want to move in the future, it’s just so sickening that she could have the nerve to do this to me. Xxx
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Debsie, it is perfectly okay to have a worse day and to have a pity party and to feel sorry for yourself. I feel sorry for you too. These stupid things keep tossing us near the edge. Heck, I ugly cried because I couldn’t get air in the tires right at 8 weeks or so and hadn’t cried since my husband’s funeral.
And, I got a new wave of panic to boot. Because we feel, and sometimes are, helpless and it is scary. No one’s coming to the rescue.
And, now your house will be even emptier. This is too much at once. I’ll say it again, you can’t throw a curve ball to a widow. It tips the scale of the little balance we have.
Another adjustment.
Makes me want to quit this damn club.
Much love.
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Lizzy, sorry but you are collateral damage; she is getting back at her father.
All I can advise is that your money is in your house. Make it the best one of its kind on the market so you get top dollar. Neutral, move-in ready, fresh.
Much love.
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Thank you for your support. I had a real wobble. Had 8 hours sleep last night, woke quite a few times though. Dreamt of David last night. He was looking for some bubble bath to wash the bedding. Not quite the dream I hoped for but as its only the second time he has been in my dreams it will do. Perhaps he is telling me he wouldn’t know what he is doing either. Lizzy I too have some legal problems. Mine relate to my late fathers estate. I should really contact to solicitor but I’m not the only executor and don’t see why he can’t do it. Going to bury my head in the sand and hope it goes away.
I am having family to me for Christmas. It was what was planned and I think cooking for 11 will keep me busy. My husband had already bought my present which I am already using. I really should have kept it for Christmas. I have also bought myself a present which I’m already using. It wouldn’t be what he would have approved of.
I am meeting up with a bunch of old work colleagues in a couple of weeks. I’m ok with 1 or 2 people but not with a group. They will all ask how I am and I will cry. Peaches I envy you not crying, I find it embarrassing and makes me dread meeting people. They hug me and make it worse. Everyone says its ok to cry but its not for me. I want to do my crying in private.
Well its gone 9am. I’m still in bed but I have my list of things to do and it should get me through the day. So deep breath and plough on. Don’t know what I would do without this group to give me strength. Would like to quit this club too but millions have survived so we will too.
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I’m glad you are feeling a bit better, I skim through my emails but my stomach goes into a knot when I see one from my lawyer. I wish I could ignore her but I know I can’t. I feel ok when I’m in company but it’s when I go home later today I may have a wobble again. On week 3, I went up to see a friend who took me out for lunch only to find 5 other friends were there, we cried, hugged and talked about my husband. It really broke the ice but I kept telling them not to be nice to me as I will cry. I’m fine when I go up and see them now. I’ve even managed to get an appointment to get my hair done next week as I could not even walk into the town in case I saw anyone. I did break down and hated myself for it with a neighbour when she asked what had happened. I try and hold it in as much as possible, even have a tear in my eye remembering that awful day, in the room by myself just now, I will go and cuddle the dog before they come downstairs as my daughter thinks I’m ok now. If only!!! The first week I made a christening cake for my Grandaughter as I promised I would and also baked other things for her party. I honestly don’t remember making it but it kept me busy, prob wasn’t my best effort but it was appreciated that I did it. I might offer to do New Years Day for the family, will keep me busy and make me put decorations up. My daughter said she would take me home and come in and put my Christmas tree up. Not sure about that at all but maybe I will, cheer the house up a bit. Take care and hope today is a good one xxx
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My friend from high school is here visiting for a few days. Such a treat! Darling woman is dragging me out of the house. I love her to bits. We’ve been out to eat twice, shopped a bakery, drove a scenic route, went to a Christmas lights display, rode some rides, had hot chocolate while watching the beautiful lights below and the lit city in the distance from the top of the Ferris Wheel, and chatted and laughed the whole time. An angel.
I screamed and laughed out loud on the roller coaster and it felt great. I can’t lie.
Then in the morning, the painters will come and the pile of paperwork needs attention.
I’m turning in my resignation notice. I don’t like working here.
Much love.
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How are you feeling today - better because you had an exhilarating time with your wonderful friend or flat because you are back to reality? x
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So pleased for you. Yes, we can still have fun. I sometimes find myself dancing to a song on the radio, laughing at my grandchildren, or enjoying my walk or book. It gives us hope for the future. We can hope that at some point, the happy will outweigh the sad. We all need a friend like yours. Is she free next week?
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I’m so pleased you had a good weekend, I also had a good weekend going out for a meal and even a Panto. The tears were in my eyes getting driven home though. Weather outside is miserable today, and I’ve got a headache and sore throat, my grandson loaded with the cold and I think ive picked it up from him. Well here we go another week, hope it’s a good one, hugs xxxx
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Hi Debsie, how are you? I’ve not had a cold or sore throat in ages, hubby always swore by lemsips, he said they always helped him, I think I maybe need one today. Last night I couldn’t sleep, back to empty house, I hate my own company, I helped my daughter put her Christmas trees up and I was trying to be happy with Christmas music playing but underneath I was breaking, I’m glad they didn’t have time to come in and put mine up. I wouldn’t cried, need to do it on my own. I need to get out my bed this morning, dress for the miserable weather and go for a walk, no bread or anything in the house. Hope you have a lovely day xxx
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