I honestly don’t think a lot of people know about us not inheriting a pension, it seems so unfair paying into it all these years. My sister gets about £300 a month just now from her late husbands pension.That would help 1000s of us out. We are getting penalised in every possible way just now. I have two friends who lost their husband a few years ago as well who get it, one is only a year older than me. So unfair.
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Well done Peaches, my tree is still sitting in the box, I have a hospital appointment today but maybe tomorrow I will try and cheer the room up and put my tree up. Will need a box of hankies at the ready. We were given some special decorations when we got married 11 years ago, so sad, I feel a tear coming on already. Take care xxx
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Georgi, we seem to be in a similar situation here about the pension (or not pension) as the case may be. My eldest Grandaughter just turned 18 and her sister is only 1 year old. Different partners hence the age difference but they get on so well. I really hope sumthing changes in these pension rules but for now we are truly stuck. Just hope they don’t take our bus pass off us or I would be suicidal. Take care xx
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Debsie, some of these pension companies are so slow at responding, I’m so glad you got the bereavement support allowance, at least it’s something. Again I wish we didn’t need to get any of this, this is definitely not what we had planned for. Our lives have been turned upside down and now we are dealing with pensions that we can’t get. So unfair. Take care xx
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Well done you, my tree still isn’t up yet I have not had the time or the desire to do it but I will xxx
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I know with this government you just never know what they’re going to do next but lets hope not though living in Scotland I think the bus passes are devolved.
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Are these private pension plans or government plans? I can not understand how it is that your spouses worked all those years to earn a pension and then when they pass, you are left out in the cold. It must be very scary as now you have lost that income. I would not make it without my husband’s pension, it would mean a sale of my home and vehicles and a move which is too much to handle when we’ve just had our lives turned upside down. It it just terrible!
I don’t mean to sound mean, but from what I read here, not only does the UK have a crappy health care system, but also has no consideration for the widows and widowers or how they will maintain without the spouses’ pensions.
I am so sorry. It is so unfair to you all. They take, take, take from you and when it is your time of need you get nothing? WTAH?!?!
Much love,
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BTW, I also found a pair of blue jeans that fit and a warm jacket that I forgot I had. As the closet gets purged, I find things. It is like shopping without leaving the house.
My friend is on her way back to North Carolina where floods have left many living in tents in the snow. We packed my 3 cold weather sleeping bags for her to take to the people. It makes me happy to know that 3 people will be warmer tomorrow night than they will be tonight.
Put your trees up! They are pretty. We can choose to have a dark Christmas or a lighted one. I choose lighted. Turn on those lights, y’all. You will feel better once the tree is up, decision made and no more vacillating between tree/no tree.
Much love.
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My husband’s Mcmillan nurse didn’t even know when I spoke to her about it she said “no I think you do get it” she then emailed Mcmillan’s own benefits department and they confirmed I was correct, she was shocked xxx
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Are you in Scotland? Im Ayrshire but hoping when all this legal stuff sorted will move to South Lanarkshire xx
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Hi Lizzy,
Yes I am in Aberdeen the North east as Im sure you know xxx
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Well said Georgi, I totally agree with you on this, the country is a mess just now. I’m just home and honestly I could cry, not only do we not get a widows pension, I was on the bus and read an email from my lawyer telling me that one of his pension policies that hadn’t matured yet was paying a lump sum which as sole executor of the will they paid it to me. It’s now to go into the estate and the bitch of a daughter will legally get a part of it. Honestly how much more can I take, I will now only get a third of this. I’m gutted and trying to hold in the tears on the bus was very hard. I’m at breaking point now, everything seems to be piling on top of me. I probably won’t be able to afford to move at this rate, this was keeping me sane and I was hoping to start a new chapter in my life and move on. I honestly don’t think anything has went my way since my husband died. Surely there must be light at the end of this dark miserable tunnel. Sorry for my rant xxx
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Oh Peaches,I certainly do need some light in my life just now, maybe I will put my tree up tomorrow and have a bottle of wine while m doing it.
I think our Government is putting so much extra stress on widows, maybe hoping we will kick the bucket to save them more money. 
tree tomorrow xx
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Lovely Georgi, do you have snow? Maybe we could meet half way for a coffee or lunch when weather better then we could give each other a real hug and a real chat. Take care xxx
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I’m having a good day. My insurance agent returned my call within 10 minutes even though he is on vacation this week, the lady at the courthouse gave me good news about getting a copy of my property description for the succession, the painters are finishing my exterior doors, and my physician called with my last test results - all good.
Four good things so far today. Waiting to see what #5 will be.
Write down the good things that happen, no matter how small, so we don’t forget to be grateful for all the little blessings along the way.
I need to practice gratitude more. There is always something to be grateful for.
Much love.
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Lizzy - who gets 2/3 of your husband’s pension? Why do you only get 1/3? As executor of the estate, the fiduciary duty to the estate would be to transfer the pension into the estate and let it mature - to the benefit of the estate.
Pretty sure that as executrix you can determine when to distribute the legacy.
While it matures to the benefit of the estate, she is only entitled to her share of its value at the date of death.
Check with your attorney. I sure am sorry that crap is raining down on you. I hope you get some good news soon. You need it badly.
Much love.
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I’m afraid my husband also had a son who is in Australia so the daughter mentioned him in the horrible letter, so he will also get any money, again, he has also had no contact with their dad. I’m going to call the insurance company tomorrow as I’m sure he listed me as a trustee on all his policies but I’ve hunted the file and his emails and can’t find anything, he was never very good at saving things. Think I’m on a hiding to nothing but worth a try.
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I too am confused on this. If it’s pension it shouldn’t form part of the estate and there should be an expression of wish to say who should benefit from it. It can be overturned by the pension company for dependents but not grown independent adults. I have known instances that peoples ex partners have got their pensions because they forgot to change their expression of wish. However maybe it’s some kind of insurance or annuity and maybe that’s different. I assume the lawyers know what they are doing I’m certainly not claiming to know. I do know things like if you are not married or there isn’t a will then it can mean things get more complicated. I hope you get it sorted and it won’t cost you too much in fees. These things can really be dragged out if you are unlucky. Hopefully Karma will come their way in the future to pay for all the hurt they caused. They obviously feel wronged for some reason and it’s a shame they won’t see the other side. But you’ve got this girl. The worse has already happened and you are coping with that so you can cope with this. Take care of yourself.
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I’m going to phone the insurance company as I’m sure he did sign a wish thing, I know the company was taken over but I will plead my case that it doesn’t go to the estate. I’ve got nothing to prove this wish thing was signed. It’s the money side that goes into the estate, they are legally bound to get a share of any money but not property. It’s Scottish law unfortunately. It’s time the law was changed, what’s the point of having a will if this kind of thing can happen. I actually have been given this money as sole executor of the Will, it’s in my account but I may have to hand it over to my lawyer. Honestly I’ve had nothing but bad news and bad luck. It must change soon. Can’t take much more. Lawyer also wants to know the value of my house on the date he died. What the heck difference does a week or so make. Going to phone the estate agents tomorrow and get them to lower the valuation as it’s for tax reasons. Everything is a problem. They need this information before they can complete the Grant of Confirmation Form. Honestly I thought the paperwork we had to do in the first few weeks were bad but this is now getting worse than that. Wish me luck tomorrow. Xx
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No snow at the moment but we did have last week, I’m sure it will be back soon enough though xxx
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