I looked after my two Grandsons (2&5) on Sunday for 5 hours. Unfortunately the weather was horrid and therefore very hard to entertain them indoors. I have however discovered Bluey & Peppa Pig. I certainly would not want to do it all day. My granddaughter is 8 months old and such a cutie. Haven’t had to do more then an hour so far, I can imagine all day can be a trial. We have done our stint at childcare, our job is to sail in, spoil rotten, fill with E numbers and sugar and hand them back.
I am trying to fend off a migraine, its probably the neighbours get together that is stressing me and triggering it although to be honest I get 12+ a month.
I do not seem to be spending very much money either. I think we not know that its not the material things that matter and I can’t get excited about ‘stuff’ anymore. Food shopping bill is very low and as I don’t go anywhere much I don’t have to buy petrol. 10 weeks since he died and I have filled up once. I’ve also been putting the numerous bits of clothing that have never been worn on Vinted. Husband couldn’t resist a bargain, even if he didn’t need it. It was always going to be needed in the future. If only we knew eh!
Debsie, I fueled up the vehicles once since my husband died almost 3 months ago. I am spending no money, food bills are less than half of my norm. The same roll of paper towels since 11/18 and half is still there. The TP is the same.
I had a standing order at the grocer’s for 7 gallons of milk each week as my husband loved milk and drank a gallon each day. Now, I buy one 1/2 gallon and have had to trash some because it sours before I can use it. I put the toaster oven away as no one is making toast/biscuits/muffins for breakfast any more. I don’t even buy these things now as I don’t eat them. I removed the bread basket since it is always empty. A stick of butter lasts for weeks.
It is all so very different now. The pantry, the fridge, and the grocery bills remind me that I am alone. Everything screams “he is gone”.
I am surviving. We all will. It sucks, but here we are.
Migraines are draining, Ive suffered them since my teens! I had to go to bed yesterday afternoon after the wee one went home and slept which along with the medication cleared the headache only problem then was I was awake till 03.30 and only slept till 0.630 now I will be tired all day, and possibly get another migraine later today, the joys of being a migraine sufferer eh ? I keep hoping they will disappear with age but at 67 I guess its not going to happen xxx
So true the amount of food I waste is a sin, buying food for one is a trial on its own ! You try and stock up so as not to be going to shops daily but then things go out of date before you have a chance to use them, and if I put things in freezer I forget about them, its hard getting used to this shopping for one, for 46 years it was shopping for 2 and then a family of four so shopping for one is totally alien to me xxx
Sorted all the paperwork again last night. Ready to pay bills. Found accounts I didn’t know about.
Bed at 3am, painters arrived at 7:30. They opened a door which set off the alarm and 2 police officers showed up. Nice way to wake up. I am starting to not like these very nice people. Why are they here on a Saturday anyway?
The Roomba started up on its own after I went to bed and found the cat’s pee pad.
Another fun “good morning”. Ick.
Georgi - yes, stocking up doesn’t work at all. Grocery shopping will have to be every 2 days or so now. Once it is in the freezer, I forget about it too.
BTW, does anyone know why this cat is peeing so much? 4 pee pads a day. She was a stray TNR (Trap, Neuter, Release) that showed up over 6 years ago, adopted my husband and hasn’t left. She is old and now blind and I haven’t the heart to make her live outside like she once did. Now, she is living in my pantry and doesn’t step outside of it. She isn’t one to hold and cuddle, lots of screaming and clawing to get away and I do not take her to the vet because I can’t get her in a carrier - too wild.
I feed her and give her flea meds, but that is the extent of my parental duties with her. But, the urination is getting the best of me and despite the pads, it stinks to High Heaven in the pantry and I am tired of it. Likely a kidney issue or just old age - she will also sleep on the dirty pad, can no longer keep herself clean and hates being brushed. Why me?
Probably is old age with the cat, my old lady will be 17 in March she has had a cancer on her lip for 2 yrs now, vet said it was too difficult a position to operate on so I started her on CBD oil, she sleeps a lot but loves her food, I have had to put puppy pads down in front of the entrance to her litter tray cause she sometimes pees over the side of tray, old age affects animals just the same as old people, issues with incontinence etc xxx
We moved to this flat 9 yrs ago and we had 3 cats 2 died of old age at 19 & 17 xxx
Georgi, you might be right. Six years ago, he was sitting on the deck repairing a fishing pole when she wandered into our backyard. My husband said “hello kitty” and she ran and jumped into his lap. It was love at first sight. She adored him. Me - not so much. She would run to cuddle with him on the sofa and talked to him non-stop, purring and rubbing her face all over him.
The peeing is driving me cray-cray, she refuses to use a litter box, pees outside of it even when it is fresh and clean. I am in a no-win situation here. She was old when she arrived, I would say about 8, so now she is 14, boney and full of arthritis.
My last cat was 19 when she died. The one before that, another stray, was 14. My Great Dane was 12 and my Black Labrador was 14. Everyone, except my husband, outlived their expected life span.
Yeh its frustrating cleaning up pee regularly, I dread getting up in the morning, I think Amber plays football with the cat litter during the night you can’t go through in stocking soles its agony to stand on, and she has a bit of difficulty eating with the sore on her mouth and drops food on floor all round her dish, I have all that to clean up before I do anything else and in the meantime she’s meowing constantly for her breakfast, the joys xxx
I’m feeling out of sorts today. Lots of little things all going wrong. Last night’s neighbours drinks was difficult on my own. I was groggy from migraine medication so didn’t stay long. Was never any good at these things anyway. David would know that and would look for clues that I want to go home.
I then found some old cards he had a habit of holding onto. One of the ones from me had the following verse. ‘Without you there I couldn’t cope, you are my life my love my hope’. That was the final straw.
I am also anxious about tomorrows get together with 7 friends. There is two I haven’t seen since it happened. They will tell me how sorry they are and no matter how hard I try I will cry. Why can I not just say thank you and move on. I do wish I could control my crying.
I hope the rest of you are ok. Lizzy I hope your weekend is a success.
Peaches, is there a way a vet can come to you? Cats are very clean animals and this isn’t normal. At least call the vets and ask for advice. The only thing I can suggest is that you put a soiled mat in the litter tray. They often use the same area and if it smells of her she may start using it. I appreciate that loosing another connection to your husband would be hard, but see what the vet says, it may be kindness to let her go. Xx
Hi Debsie, I had a really nice time with my friends, I stayed with one of them who understood how I was feeling as she lost her husband during Covid. We chatted into the wee small hours. I had a really good sleep as well. We went for lunch and they had a Christmas tree for people that had lost a loved one. I wrote on the wooden heart and hung it onto the tree with a tear or two. It was a real tonic being with friends, I talked non stop but here I am, back in the house on my own again. Debsie I hope you find being with your friends a positive experience, it’s normal to cry, I told mine when I first saw them not to cuddle me or be nice as that’s a trigger to start crying. Now that I’ve stayed with my friend I will do it again, four years in and she still struggles, I got a lot of advice from her but I know she is still struggling and hates being in her house all day. We helped each other out and we had a lovely night dancing away and I didn’t drink too much. Take care xx
Mbg, I know what you mean, the tears just keep flowing when you least expect it. I sat and looked at the photos that were shown at the funeral, I cried my eyes out but laughed at the funny ones. I’m meeting a friend of his on Tuesday to hand a lot of his medals etc back to the club he was in, I feel as if I’m deleting him out my life bit by bit. His friend was telling me one of his other friends died at 51 years. Everything I hear just now is bad news, as you said we don’t want this life but we have no choice, we have to survive and get on with it. Take care xxx
Debsie, it would be a kindness to me, but I can’t just yet. She is still eating heartily, drinking water, and eliminating. If that stops, then it will be time.
The madman dragged me around for 2.6 miles. I question whether I can keep him, he is a lot. Strong as an ox. He and I need training or one of us is going to get injured. He listened to my husband’s strong deep orders, but my soft suggestions just do not work.
Up to date on all bills! Have a stack of “to-calls” for Monday. So far, so good.
Feeling calmer as I am getting more and more organized. Last night I was trotting in figure eights around my house to release some anxiety. Walking (or being dragged) is better.
I agree being with people is very hard and nothing is more lonely than being in a large group when you are grieving, like you I avoid it too, but that is easier for me to do because I never have liked being with a large groups, always felt invisible and couldn’t find a pause in the conversation to say my bit, that stems from being a painfully shy child x x
Peaches I feel like that about my elderly cat its a hard decision to make and when is the right time. The thing about cats is its very hard to know when they are in pain, they do just carry on even purring when they are badly injured, I had a cat in the past who came home staggering, she purred all the way to vet, she had a fractured eye socket, fractured jaw and cheek bone, vet was amazing and operated, she lost the eye but it didn’t stop her xxx
Maybe think of giving your cat CBD oil it might just help xxx
Yesterday afternoon I met up with 6 ex colleagues for coffee and cake. I was a little anxious as two of them I hadn’t seen since it happened. One of these women does have a habit of being very blunt and tends to interrogate you. I did think of asking one of my closest friends to rescue me if needed but didn’t. Then it happened. About an hour in she calls across the table ‘so how are you coping, you weren’t expecting it and no one were more of a couple then you two’. Everyone went quiet. I just froze. I could feel the panic and tears rising, I couldn’t think of anything to say, but that fantastic friend that has been there for me the last 10 weeks, could see I was getting upset and just answered for me and turned the conversation away. I did enjoy seeing everyone but that did spoil it for me. How can some people be so insensitive. It kept going round my head last night, only got 4 hours sleep and now the 5th migraine in a week. Going to be a bad day I can tell. Lord give me strength to get through today.
Oh Debsie, I really do know how you must have felt. People have no idea how hard that is to deal with, they obviously havn’t experienced this before. So insensitive of her. I’m so glad your friend stepped in. I hope your migraine goes away quickly. I’m meeting a friend today for lunch and she told me someone I used to work with is coming, I’m not really a big fan of her so hope she doesn’t upset me. The weather is howling outside, I just hope my bus is running, for once I really would rather stay in. Can’t believe I’ve just written that. I have been out all weekend which is great that I got over another weekend. When I go out for lunch it takes me an hour to get there and another hour to get home. I actually slept till 6am this morning, that’s the first in a long time. You take care today, will be thinking of you.
That is unbelievable, how rude & blunt can someone be, that says more about her inability to handle sensitive situations than anything else, if I were you I would feel sorry for her because everyone around that table will have been mortified and annoyed at her for doing that, as the saying goes if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all and especially don’t shout it out across a table, it sounds like someone who is socially inadequate, thank goodness your friend jumped in a answered for you.
People like that are one of the reasons I dislike large groups!
Don’t dwell on it she’s not worth it xxx
xx