I did read about the breast cancer and you are doing amazing. Is there anyway for you to get back to the music
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I can still barely say those things to people. I have managed twice to say that he died without crying, but only twice.
Tears still come very quickly.
But then the first three months, I don’t think I stopped crying. I had to have some special ointment for my eyes because they were so sore. I know I was just constantly leaking all day long.
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No, unfortunately not at the moment. Although I think I’ll just run a lunchtime club.
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Have we heard from Lizzie today?
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Believe it or not KtG, in February my optician gave me drops for my eyes … for dry eyes!
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Yes KtG = her last message was that she was turning her phone etc off as she’d forgotten to charge them and needed them charged for Turkey. We may not hear from her till tomorrow.
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Lizzie will busy with more clearing out in turkey,
This may sound strange but i sit next to darrens ashes in the morning with a cuppa and read through all your posts and say to him ‘lets see what my new family have been up to’.
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Sometimes i wish i still had a job to go to it does give you a purpose in life and you get out of the house and have other people to talk to. I’m 70 i do volunteer at a charity shop two mornings a week that helps. I still can’t hold back the tears if someone asks about Chris xx
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Mark was eight years younger than me, so he really was my toy boy, I miss him so much. Yesterday was the three month mark, it’s knocked me back a bit, I have been feeling very low, yesterday and today.
Hopefully tomorrow will bring an easier day.
Love to you all xx
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I am working tomorrow to help out for someone on holiday, it is hard to stop the tears when someone asks how you are xx
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Chezza welcome to our chat. Nice to meet you. I think knowing that your feelings are normal goes a long way to reassure us all that we are progressing and not beat ourselves up for the struggles we find ourselves in. I hope tomorrow goes well and you manage to enjoy your day with your family. Xx
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Flints I hope tomorrow is a better day for you, it is so hard I know. I am 13 weeks tomorrow and everyday feels like walking through mud - please take care of yourself xxx
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Flints, Mark really was your toy-boy! Those dates do hit us don’t they, I’m not looking forward to next week as I expect two knock backs. Wedding anniversary and 5 months two days apart. Hopefully i’ve prepared myself, but who can tell?
Getting late here, so decaf coffee and bed I think!
Sleep well everyone. Nigel xxxx
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Thank you, it is exactly like walking through mud, some days, I don’t even know where the time has gone, it’s like being in a bad dream.
You take care too, sending my love xx
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I slowly returned to work at 3 month and would cry when someone asked how i was or hugged me, they were warned it would set me off. I don’t cry as much now unless something triggers me, and i feel the fog is lifting a bit
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Nigel, next week is going to be a tough one for you. My anniversary is in May, not looking forward to that.
I met Mark at a work colleagues house, it was her birthday. We only said hello, then at nine o’clock I had to leave because I had two children and my sister had agreed to have them until nine fifteen.
I couldn’t believe it the next day when my friend said he liked me.
He was twenty nine and I was thirty seven. From our first date we were inseparable, meeting Mark changed my life, it was the best day of my life.
Goodnight, sleep well, don’t work too hard tomorrow xx
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I had given in my notice to leave in January this year, so me and Mark could spend more time together, I was really looking forward to retirement, then on January 8th, I found Mark asleep forever in his chair! It’s cruel how things work out isn’t it?
My employer had filled my position, so I don’t have a job now, but do fill in for holidays. I have to try and keep the tears at bay, which is hard xx
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Been spending the evening sorting through my husband’s walk books. He has 9 boxes of them. I have sorted 3 boxes and thrown out loads of leaflets and print outs and have several books they he had two of to give to charity. In reality I don’t know if I will ever use any of them again, but it’s too soon to decide. It’s good to sort them all though and if I can reduce the boxes to 8 that will be a plus.
Good night everyone, and Lizzy I hope today went well and you manage to catch up with us tomorrow.
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Goodnight xx
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I have Hazel’s ashes on our bookcase, surrounded by photos of her. I also talk to her, saying good morning and goodnight etc.
Yesterday was our 37th wedding anniversary, but i managed to cope ok-ish. This morning wasn’t to good though.
One day, one step at a time. Take care
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