Mine is the same only access is taking the panel to flush the loo off and not much room for access, if anything goes wrong it will be a plumber’s problem not mine 
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It really is horrible in those early weeks waking up every morning and realising the truth, it’s harsh but believe me it will subside in time. We have all lived through that and feel for you going through it now, nothing anyone can say will make it better at this time, take care thinking of you at this time xxx
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Thank you Peaches. It really helps to know, and remember, that it’s not just me going through this nightmare! Thinking of every one of you over Christmas. 
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Peaches, I’ve also got an electric blanket but keep leaving it on and wake up sweating lol, it doesn’t seem to reach my feet hence the cold feet. Maybe I need a new one, my husband bought this one for me as he was a night owl and only came to bed at around 3/4am, I used to put my arm over and see if he was in the bed or my foot.this is why I got such a fright. I really am sad cuddling my furry hot water bottle, it’s maybe safer than the blanket. I had a good sleep last night thank goodness, I think when I don’t it affects my mood. Here’s to an emotional Christmas Eve, but hopefully a better day than yesterday. I will be out my walk by 9am when it gets light again. Have a good day everyone. Xxx:christmas_tree:
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Georgi, I don’t even know what I was looking for if I’d taken the lid off lol. I just knew I wouldn’t have got a plumber out here to fix it. I normally would have asked my daughter’s partner but I hate to keep asking for help. He did fix my heating a few days after my husband died, and he has also fixed a few other things. He is cooking the Christmas dinner and I know he is busy and still working. I did feel good sorting it though. I will try more things myself but a toilet not working, I panicked. I need to get over the fear of going up Into the loft, that’s my next goal. I was spoiled as my husband loved fixing everything, he would spend hours working out what was wrong. My trouble is I hate asking for help, I will google everything first. I hope you have a nice day Georgi take care xxx🤗
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Hi, I think the lack of sleep has a lot to do how we are feeling, I’ve had two nights with very little sleep, I’ve been awful and tears have been flowing for two days solid. I finally had a decent sleep last night, I feel good just now but it’s going to be an emotional lonely day for me but I will start with a walk even if the weather is bad. Hopefully keep busy most of the day. This May all change hour by hour, I had to dry my eyes quickly when someone FaceTimed me last night. I don’t want anyone to see how bad I am. They all think I’m doing ok. I really hope you have a better day, sending hugs
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Mjfoo, I think you are coping tremendously, it’s such a sad time, you have such a lot to deal with, we don’t have a choice and I don’t know where that strength comes from, but for some reason we get there. I had to wait over a month till the funeral. I slept on the couch and lived off biscuits. It’s all a blur and don’t know how I coped but I did. I slept in the bed a few days after the funeral and I was ok. I’ve started eating a little better, not the way I used to cook but at least eating. Take baby steps, it will get easier, says me who cried for two days yesterday. Keep posting, it really does help, we all help each other as friends and family don’t know what you are going through, your new friends on here do. You take care, sending massive hugs xx
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Thanks Lizzie. I think you’re right as starting the day shattered can’t help. 2, 4 and 6 o’clock waking last night doesn’t bode well and my daughter posted a message on Facebook that made me cry. She’s the one I worry about as she was already off work due to work related stress before we lost her mum. Outwardly she copes well, but I think she’s masking her feelings well! I must keep an eye on her - luckily she lives next door to me.
Best wishes M
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I will try fixing things, not always successful but I try, even when my husband was alive I would try myself first, thats the independent side of me xx
But plumbing is not something I know anything about ! If you don’t try you will never know if you can do it xx
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Georgi when I worked I was always amazed that colleagues used to come up and ask me to fix this and that, no idea why, printer problems or photocopier I used to fix things like that, I love taking my Dyson to bits, very therapeutic. I knew my husband liked a challenge so left him to it. I need to sharpen my skills now as I’ve spent hours trying to get my printer to print off my iPad, it’s not playing, it worked before but has decided to play up. I’m not giving up, just glad I can still print from my phone. It will be something stupid but I can’t find what it is. Hope your day is going ok, I’m still not too bad, I hope it keeps that way. Take care xxx
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M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S !!
I hope Santa brings you Miss Fix Its a cute pink toolbox filled with tools! I may google how to change electric sockets. The electrician’s estimate was shocking. (Yes, I did that).
Must stop sleeping on the sofa. Still polishing silver, five pieces at a time.
Honestly, I feel good. This living hour by hour really works to keep my anxiety under control and the List of 5s, keeps me moving forward. Again, I feel in control. Shhhh, don’t say it out loud.
Afternoon with the kids will be fun. Poor darlings, I give them clothes. They don’t like it, but they get enough junk and the parents appreciate it.
I am going to have a wonderful day. It is already started.
Much love to all.
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Peaches I hope you have a lovely day, I feel you are in a good place. I just had a big surprise at my door, my daughter and grandson and the dog were singing at my door lol, they brought gifts to put under my tree and brought home made cookies and hot choc and we had a wee mini party. Also booked a holiday for April the three of us. Something at last to look forward to. They are coming back for me tomorrow to spend a few nights with them. I feel good as well, 2 hours earlier I was dipping, glad I wasn’t bubbling when they arrived. My spirits have been lifted. A night in with a few drinks and I will cope, hopefully sleep as well.
Ps,I don’t think the prezzies are big enough for a pink toolbox but not to worry. 
have a nice time everyone xxx
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And Merry Christmas to you too Peaches. Seems like you have a good plan in place! All 19 of my family are getting money this year, as although Mary bought lots of things, I haven’t a clue what was for whom. Not quite enough earings for the 11 girls in the family and 3 identical pink jumpers that don’t fit my daughters or daughters in law, so not sure who they were for. It’s going to be a fun day, hopefully. M
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Its been a frantic Christmas eve, and after achieving nothing yesterday and leaving most of it to today I woke with another migraine and upset tummy. My fault for leaving everything till the last minute. But I have prepped most of it now, and just started to feel better. I do hope I sleep tonight. Tomorrow is going to be emotional. I was given a surprise present today from a neighbour who was at school with my husband. We bumped into him at a Bruce Springsteen gig earlier this year. It was the last time he saw my husband, and he has given me a tour t shirt he bought there. Its really too big for me but its the thought and a memory of better times. We are not even that friendly with them, I was very touched. A lovely note with it too. I have lots of visits from people over the last few days. I suspect that will end now as they have their own lives. I can’t expect them to babysit me.
Good luck everyone tomorrow. I hope the day goes much better then we are anticipating. See you on the other side. Much love xx
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Debsie I’m so sorry your headache came back. I’m yawning away tonight, I hope I sleep as I know I won’t sleep in my grandsons bed tomorrow night. I’ve had a few tears tonight, lit a candle at 7pm and thought about my husband who died too soon. He should be here with me. I have had loads of texted which made the tears flow, tomorrow will be emotional but we have to do it. We have no choice, we will get through it. I hope you have a good day tomorrow, will be thinking of all my new friends on here xxx take care and hugs to all xx
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Nothing like an oversized t shirt for a pj top, i spent my life with Nick using his and its a happy memory xx
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I like that Miss Fixits !
It will soon be xmas day here, I hope everyone manages to enjoy the day as best they can though it is hard, 2nd xmas for me without my husband, where has that time gone, I have my son & his family coming 2moro and on boxing day my daughter and grandkids, my son-in-law is in Brazil with work for 6 wks, needs must I guess ! I worked lots of christmases over my working life too xx
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Spent 3 hours with family and enjoyed it all. Delicious food, kids running around like wild things, people I haven’t seen in a while. Great time.
Home and all is well. Two of the orders I placed have not yet arrived. Grrrrr. I think if you can’t deliver on time for Christmas, then don’t advertise for Christmas delivery.
Almost 7pm and already in for the night. Made it through one holiday gathering without feeling awful. Pretty sure I’ll be fine tomorrow too.
Merry Christmas to all an to all a good night.
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Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you all can have a happy day, emotional yes, but I’m sure we can do this! My best wishes are with you all 
xxx
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That sounds lovely, well done on finding the joy and keeping a bit for yourself xxx
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